


Would You Love a Monsterman?

by BinaryAngel



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: AU where V lived, Cunnilingus, Edgeplay, F/M, Hospitals, Masturbation in Shower, Not based on Another Story, Romance, Rope Bondage, Saeran takes the title Edgelord seriously, Sequel, Smut, V Route Spoiler Free, mystic messenger spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 03:15:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 49,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8873620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BinaryAngel/pseuds/BinaryAngel
Summary: Sequel to Digitised Angels.With their lives completely shattered, Saeran and V can only succumb to the darkness within them or learn to live again. Enter Rani and Hana, two women who were not prepared for the chance meeting with two monsters in the guise of men or the changes they would cause.





	1. Hana Volkov

      “I’m pulling into a parking spot right now, mama.” With a careful turn of the steering wheel, Hana eased into a free spot in the guest parking lot. Once she was neatly within the lines she flipped off the engine and unplugged her phone from the car charger. “I’ve still got about an hour before she gets off, so I’ll do some wandering around. See if I can get any sketches done.”

      “I’ll never understand how you two can stand spending so much time in a hospital.” Her mother clicked her tongue against her teeth.

      “Not everyone has a fear of doctors, mama.” Hana bit back a laugh as she switched the phone from speaker and reached into the backseat to grab her art kit before leaving her car. “Especially not Rani. I swear that girl practically lives here.”

      “Thankfully she has you, or else she might never get her head out of doctor mode.” It was one of the things Hana’s mother always brought up when Rani was the topic. “I don’t think she’d have any friends if it weren’t for you. Hana, are you even listening to me?”

      “Huh? Sorry, sorry. I got distracted.” She was nearing the hospital entrance now and knew her phone service would cut out soon. “I’m heading inside now, mama. I’ll talk to you later.”

      “Fine, fine.” Her mother sighed, but it was a good-natured sound. “Maybe then you can explain to me why your girl’s nights always happen on days where Rani’s working the next day?”

      “I’ve told you before. Her schedule’s so packed-”

      “Yeah, yeah.” The older woman was likely rolling her eyes. She had heard that excuse a million times now. “Whatever. I hope you two have a fun evening. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

      “Sure thing, mama.” Hana was laughing as she hung up the phone and shoved it into her pocket. Cool air heavy with antiseptic met her as she entered the hospital. The nurse on duty at the desk waved her over.

      “Miss Volkov, it’s good to see you again.” The nurse smiled brightly at her and fished a visiting pass from a drawer to hand it to her. “Here for the art or to pick up Miss Jeong?”

      “Both.” Hana accepted the pass and clipped it to the front of her light blue peasant shirt. “It’s one of our mandatory girl’s nights, but I wanted to get some time in for at least a few sketches.”

      “Well, have fun.” She motioned her towards the doors leading deeper into the hospital. Hana had nearly made it through the door when the nurse called out. “Oh, the east wing on the fifth floor is off limits so don’t go nosing about, okay Miss Volkov.”

      “Noted.” Hana was not even sure what she had said, only catching half of the warning but pretended she had heard. It was easier than asking the woman to repeat herself. “Have a nice day!”

      Hana was a frequent visitor to the hospital and knew most of the nurses by name or by face. At least once a month she dropped by to make her way through the hospital doing artwork for the patients. Portraits mostly, but sometimes she did requests for the children.

      Her visits became more frequent when her childhood friend Rani Jeong got an internship at the hospital.

      It was the kind of coincidence that had Mr. Jeong and Hana’s mother thrilled. The pair had dated in their school years and remained close friends who had lost touch after getting into different universities. They had been ecstatic to discover they had moved into houses next to each other and insisted their children were brought up together.

      It was probably a good thing their parents were so insistent on them becoming friends. Rani was about as warm as an iceberg and Hana had never been very socially adept. As far as Hana knew, she was Rani’s only friend and it was true to say that Rani was closer to her than the few friends she did have.

      In school they were usually alone with only each other as company. Few of their peers wanted to associate with the two half-Koreans and some even teased them for it.

      The worst Hana got for it was being accused of being a delinquent by teachers who thought she wore contacts and dyed her hair. It took her father coming in to complain for them to accept that the strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes had come from her father’s Russian heritage.

      Rani received the worst of it from their peers. Although she had black hair and brown eyes, her darker skintone and exotic features came straight from her mother’s homeland of India. Yet she had never seemed phased by the discrimination she had faced in school nor was she ever bothered by the empty seats around her.

      Hana could never understand how Rani seemed impervious to loneliness. Sometimes she caught herself wondering if the medical student was a robot.

      Brushing away thoughts of the past, Hana made her way to the children’s ward and was greeted with cheers by the ones who recognised her from her last visit. It was always a joy to see their smiling faces. These kids were in here for days, weeks, or months. Some had been in the ward for nearly a year, but yet they always smiled so beautifully.

      The walls of their playroom were covered in artwork she had done for them during her visits. Pencil sketches, watercolours, acrylics, charcoals. The art stayed up until the child she created it for was released for the hospital, but she made sure they had plenty to brighten up the playroom.

      “Miss Hana!” One of the long-term patients scurried forward to throw her arms around Hana’s waist. “You’re back!”

      “Yeah.” She patted the girl’s shining wig with a fond smile. Mimi had been in and out of the hospital for six years now and despite being so petite from her sickness, was almost always a bundle of energy. “I see you went with a blue pixie cut this time. It looks adorable on you.”

      “Thanks.” Mimi touched her wig with a bashful smile. “Mama said she’s going to get me princess hair like yours next month!”

      “I bet you’ll look better with my hair than I do.” She teased gently. “Would you like me to sketch that for you?”

      Hana drew sketch after sketch for the children. Some immediately claimed theirs and ran off to the attending nurses for tape to put it up on the playroom walls or permission to put it up in their bedroom. Some asked Hana to keep them. A few asked for her to make them colourful. She wrote their names onto the back of the sketches and promised to bring the finished and colourful pictures next time she visited.

      Eventually Hana caught sight of the clock and realised it was rapidly nearing the time that Rani would clockout. Knowing what a stickler to schedules her friend was, Hana excused herself and promised to return as soon as possible. Once her art was packed up and the kids were given hugs she left the ward to head back to the breakroom.

      “Hana!” One of the nurses exiting the breakroom hailed her down. “Are you here for Miss Jeong?”

      “Yeah.” She peeked through the door that was slowly swinging shut but did not catch sight of her friend. “Is she in there?”

      “Actually, no.” The nurse pulled a sucker out of her pocket, unwrapped it, and popped it into her mouth. “She’s gonna be late today. They have her up on the fifth floor.”

      “Wow. Rani’s breaking schedule. Stop the presses.” Hana squinted down at her watch and tried to remember the last time Rani had been late for anything.

      With a sigh Hana turned away from the breakroom to head to the elevator. The next step was to find Rani and ask how long she would be. A question that would be easily answered if the iceberg would ever answer her phone.

      The fifth floor was fairly quiet without the usual hustle of the lower floors. Unfamiliar with this particular floor, Hana wandered around following the signs leading her towards the nurses station. The man behind the counter pointed her towards room 507 and Hana hurried off to find Rani.

      “If it isn’t little Hana!” The familiar voice made her stop and turn. The doctor who greeted her was one she had known for years. A wizened older man with salt and pepper hair. “You’re not in for a checkup, are you? I thought you weren’t schedule for another month.”

      “No, Dr. Marshall” She shook her head. “I’m just here to pickup my friend. Are you here on consultation?”

      “Yes. My partner sent me down to try to deal with an uncooperative patient.” Doctor Marshal sighed and took off his glasses to clean them. “I admire him greatly, but sometimes his eccentricities scare of patients who could use our help.”

      “I believe that.” She had meet Doctor Marshal’s partner a couple of times. He was even older and kind of frightening. “Any luck?”

      “Not really.” He nodded towards the door he had come out of. “You know, maybe you should stop in and talk to him.”

      “Me?” Her eyes widened and she took a step back. “Why?”

      “Well, you can put in a good word for us. Few could say no to a girl as pretty as you, little Hana.” The doctor slid his glasses back into place and gave her a gentle smile. “Even if you can’t get him to agree, it would probably do him good to have some company. He hasn’t had many visitors.”

      “I wouldn’t know the first thing to say to a stranger.” She swallowed nervously and glanced down at her wristwatch. This was definitely not up her alley. “Really. I should be going.”

      “He’s an artsy type.” That made her pause and her excuses dry up for a moment. “A photographer actually. His work has been in galleries.”

      “Ahh, really?” The idea of meeting an artist who had been featured in galleries gave her a thrill. Even if his medium was different, there was so much she could learn from him. “Maybe… Maybe I could pop in then?”

      “Be my guest.” Doctor Marshal patted her shoulder. He might have said something else to her but she was already making her way towards the door and going through the many questions she could ask him.

      “Doctor?” The patient turned his head to the door and Hana’s breath caught in her throat. Teal hair falling in disarray into a face that made her fingers itch for some clay to sculpt with. The waning light of the setting sun left a cooling warmth around him.

      The only trouble with the image was his eyes. They were far too pale with the cloudiness of blindness.

      “No, wait…” He frowned as he sniffed the air. “Your perfume… Are you a nurse?”

      “No, I’m…” Her nerves rose up and twisted inside her gut. Part of her wanted to apologise and run away while another part wanted to crack open her artcase and try to capture the man’s beauty. “I’m not a nurse. I’m, uh, I’m Hana Volkov, one of Dr. Marshal’s patients.”

      “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Volkov, but could you leave?” He turned away from her to face the window. There was no harshness in his voice. He sounded tired. “And could you tell the good doctor I’m not interested in his partner’s procedure.”

      “He wanted me to put in a good word for them, yeah, but that’s not why I came in here.” She shifted her hold on the handle of her artcase and shuffled her feet. “He, uh, he told me you were a photographer and that you’ve had art shown in galleries?”

      “Are you a fan?” He turned back towards her and though she was sure he could not see her she still blushed under the attention.

      “Um, no. I honestly don’t know who you are…” She chewed on her lip. “I’m an art student and I, um…”

      “I can’t get your work showcased if that’s what you’re looking for.” The man settled against his pillows with a sigh. “Please leave, Miss Volkov.”

      “No, no! That’s not what I want.” Her eyes widened and cheeks flushed red. She shook her head before realising he could not see the motion. “I just wanted to talk. From one artist to another.”

      “I don’t really know what I can tell you.” He said after a long moment of silence that had her shuffling her feet and considering giving in to his earlier request that she leave. “What’s your medium?”

      “I don’t have a specific one. Pencils, charcoals, paint…” Feeling a bit more confident she edged forward towards him. “I’ve even tried digital, but I prefer doing everything by hand. It just feels… better like that.”

      “I get that.” Hearing her approach he motioned to the side of the bed where he knew a chair should be. “I’ve got a darkroom in my home. Although I could have outsourced, I preferred developing my photographs myself.”

      “I tried my hand at that before.” Hana admitted with a smile as she sunk into the offered chair. “It didn’t work out very well.”

      “I can imagine.” He offered her a small smile in return and her heart leapt into her throat. Now she had to draw him. She wanted so desperately to capture that little nostalgic upturn of his lips.

      Hana tightened her grip on the handle of her artcase to keep herself from pulling it up onto her lap and opening it up. It felt wrong to start drawing him now, without his permission, but she tried to memorise his features and the play of shadow and light over his face.

      “Miss Volkov?” He hesitated and lifted his hand towards the chair. There was a loneliness in his voice that made her ache for him. “Are you still there?”

      “Sorry, I zoned out a little.” His fingers brushed against her hand and she felt the faint zap of static electricity. He pulled back quickly. “I didn’t mean to. I just…”

      “What is it?” His hand returned to his lap. “You don’t have to remain here, Miss Volkov. It might be best if you leave. I doubt you’re supposed to be in here.”

      “If they have a problem with me being here I’ll just blame Doctor Marshal.” Hana answered with a shrug that was more visually relaxed than she truly felt. “I was just thinking, and I’m sorry if this is a bit much, but… I really want to draw you.”

      “I, uh…” He had not expected that and his cheeks flushed pink. “Thank you? No one’s ever wanted to draw me before. I must admit, I don’t really know how to feel about that.”

      “It’s kind of one of the things I do around here. I do artwork for some of the patients. Mostly for the kids, but I’ve done some for adults too.” She chewed on her lower lip, eyes widening. The faint blush on his cheeks looked good and she wondered if she had the right colours at home to replicate it. “And you’ve got this look… I just really want to capture it.”

      “I guess I can understand that.” He laughed gently and winced. His hand went to his chest. “Ahh, I think the pain medication’s wearing off.”

      “What happened?” She motioned to his chest before realising he could not see the hand motion. Drawing her hand back, she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to breathe through the embarrassment. “I, uh, sorry. It’s really none of my business.”

      “I had an incident…” He rubbed the spot and his eyes slid away from her. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

      “That’s alright.” Hana gently replied. The last thing she wanted to do was make someone uncomfortable or to relive something traumatic. “If it’s hurting I can flag down a nurse?”

      “There’s no need to go through such trouble for me.” The smile he offered carried a mix of emotions that Hana could not identify. “Don’t worry about me.”

      “Okay…” Yet she felt increasingly uncomfortable seeing that he was in pain and doing nothing to help him. “Should I leave you to rest?”

      “I’d appreciate it.” He turned back to her as if trying to see her, focusing on where her voice came from. With his eyes on her, she squirmed under the intensity of his stare. “I’m just really tired right now. It was… nice talking to you, Miss Volkov.”

      “It was nice talking to you too.” The chair squeaked against the ground as she stood. “I’m sorry for intruding on your privacy. I hope you recover soon.”

      “Thank you.” He listened to her walk away, his sightless eyes following the sound of her departure. “Miss Volkov?”

      “Yeah?” She paused with her hand poised to grab the doorknob.

      “If you really want to sketch me…” He hesitated and ran his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. “You can come by again. If it’s not any trouble. I’ll be here for a while.”

      “I’ll visit again, then.” Hana was glad he could not see the grin that stretched across her face at his words. “May I know your name?”

      It took him a long time to answer. The silence stretched between them and grew heavy with their breaths. Hana grew increasingly nervous and regretted asking for his name. His work was shown in galleries, after all, and he likely wanted to keep his identity quiet. He had not introduced himself after she did so maybe she had just put him in an awkward situation and he was trying to figure out a polite way to tell her to bug off.

      “I’m sorry!” Hana broke the silence, her voice squeaking, her eyes on the floor in shame. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything! I’m just curious, you know, and I don’t know what to call you. I don’t mean to tell anyone who you are or where you are.”

      “Jihyun Kim.” His voice cut in when she took a breath. Nervously Hana’s eyes rose to look at his face and she felt a rush of relief to see what looked like amusement on his handsome face. “My name is Jihyun Kim. Most call me V, though.”


	2. Rani Jeong

      “Miss Jeong,” The woman who spoke was the lead nurse. Although fairly attractive, the lead nurse never seemed to smile. Her mouth was always pressed into a thin line of displeasure. “You’ve been asked before not to use the breakroom as a library.”

      “My permission slip is pinned to the board.” Without taking her eyes off her textbook Rani lifted a hand and pointed her highlighter at the pinboard covered with notices. One in particular stood out with pink highlighter marking a passage. “According to the protocols of breakroom etiquette, I’m allowed to study during my lunch.”

      Nurse Gim’s eyes narrowed as she turned with a squeak on her practical white shoes. She moved towards the pinboard. As she read the highlighted passage her frown mouth tightened further. There was little the lead nurse could do to argue with the protocols.

      “Unapproved changes to official documentation is warrant for a write-up.” Nurse Gim snapped in response.

      “Then you’ll want to get that done as soon as possible.” Rani popped the lid off her highlighter and marked a few lines in her textbook. “See you later, Nurse Gim.”

      Rani doubted Nurse Gim would write her up. While the older woman rode her whenever their shifts lined up, she had yet to do anything other than act as a pain in the intern’s side. Rani had been working at the hospital for months now and the only thing the woman ever did was frown and gripe at her for studying and working on her schoolwork during breaks.

      It was not like she could neglect her studies. They, along with her internship, were a fundamental part for her doctorate.

      Rani’s cellphone chirped and she slid an index card into her textbook to mark her spot. Her loose index cards were carefully gathered and slipped into a zip up bag that clipped onto her pencil case. Once everything was in their proper place she slid it into her bag and zipped it up.

      The remains of her lunch, half of a salad topped with peanuts and grilled tofu with a spicy vinaigrette, was closed off and tossed into the trash on her way to the locker room to stash her bag.

      As a medical student interning at a hospital, it meant that in order to balance both schoolwork and the internship she had to follow a strict schedule. Her time was carefully planned out in advance. Her black schedule book was neatly marked and colour coordinated for convenience, but her packed schedule meant she had little time to laze about or spend time with friends.

      Not that she had any to spend time with.

      Rani knew what she was. She was a workaholic, to put it simply, and could hardly change no matter how many times her mother sighed and fretted about her working herself too hard.

      Dipaka and Yyong-ho never had another child, but sometimes Rani wished they had. As much as Rani loved her parents, she wished they had a second child to dote on. It would also give her grandparents someone else to focus on.

      Her career would always come first, but she hated making her family worry about her well-being.

      Of course, there was her childhood friend Hana they could fret over. Her parents did adore Hana, but they never shared the same concerns for her as they did for their own child. Hana may be quiet and somewhat socially awkward, but she knew when to take a break and recognised the benefits of friendship.

      Putting those thoughts from her mind, Rani made sure her uniform was in place before starter her after break rounds. It was menial stuff. Check the charts, check the equipment, and notify a nurse or a doctor if anything was off. Move on to the next room.

      Rani was halfway through the hour’s rounds when Nurse Mi-Suk, a sweet woman who rarely worked the same shift, grabbed her sleeve. It was unusual to see Mi-Suk so riled up or her hair in such a state of disarray that Rani stopped immediately.

      “Rani, I’m so glad I caught you.” She released her sleeve and tried to smooth down her hair. “Please tell me you have a moment. We’re having a bit of a crisis with a patient right now and could use another hand.”

      “I’m only an intern, Mi-Suk.” Rani reminded her gently. “Wouldn’t it be against protocol for me-”

      “Admin Yi will smooth out any trouble there. This is a special case.” Mi-Suk turned and began to hurry down the hall. “You’ll have to sign some paperwork, but we could really use your help.”

      “Fine. What’s the trouble?” Rani had to jog to catch up to the taller woman.

      “I can’t say much since most of this is confidently.” She answered breathlessly. “But we got some VIP patients in not to long ago, one of which has been highly uncooperative.”

      “Just have some orderlies pin and sedate.” It was what they generally did when patients passed a certain level of unruliness. No one was very fond of the forceful method, but sometimes it was the only course of action.

      “We tried.” Pausing at a passworded door, Mi-suk punched in a number and the thick door opened. Without the door blocking the noise, the din of trouble slammed into them. Mi-Suk rushed them forward, towards the source of the chaos. “It didn’t end pretty. We’ve found he responds better with females, but most of them are too scared to even enter the room. You don't scare so you're the best chance we've got.”

      “Right…” Rani straightened her spine against the looks the crowd outside the door gave her and reminded herself that situations like this were bound to happen. She could consider it a valuable training experience most would not be so lucky to receive. “How can I help?”

      “He needs to eat and drink something.” A frazzled looking Nurse Gim shoved the patient’s file into Rani’s hand. “He refuses everything offered and we can’t even begin the medication for his ailments without rectifying his malnutrition and dehydration first.”

“And you expect me to…”

“Go in and make him cooperate.” Nurse Gim shoved her towards the door. “Perform a miracle here and you’ll have shining letters of recommendation - enough for your professors and any hospital you aim to work at in the future.”

Rani dug her heels in and turned to the lead nurse, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. The offer was more than good. It was a treasure trove that would make starting her career much smoother. An offer too good to be a reward for dealing with a single unruly patient. It was offered by a woman who had made it perfectly clear she could not stand Rani. 

This patient must really be a problem. Either that or Nurse Gim was hoping to scare Rani into quitting her internship.

      “I want the letters by the end of the week.” Rani ordered, pinning the lead nurse and some of the head doctors milling about with a stern look. “And if this goes south, I expect no repercussions for my failure. I am, after all, only an intern being pulled into this mess.”

      “Fine, fine.” Nurse Gim glanced behind her to receive nods from the tired doctors. “Deal.”

      “Okay then.” Rani turned towards the door and waited patiently for the orderly to unlock it. She was practically shoved into the darkened room and heard the door slam shut and lock behind her.

      “Get out!” A man’s voice, hoarse and high-pitched, met her shortly before something slammed into the wall beside her. “Get the fuck out!”

      “I take it you’ve had a hard time with the others…” Rani felt around for the lightswitch and flicked it on. The darkness melted away to reveal the trashed hospital room. Broken vases, smashed flowers, destroyed equipment, and torn bedding. No wonder there was such a large force gathered outside the door. “You got anything left to throw?”

      “Why don’t you come closer and find out?” The man threatened. “Or better yet… get the fuck out.”

      “My name is Rani Jeong.” She introduced herself as she stepped over what was once a container of tongue depressors. The man flinched back at her approach, pressing his back against the wall opposite and following it to a corner. “And you’ll find that I don’t scare easily.”

      A glint of silver was all the warning she had before a scalpel came flying at her face, barely giving her enough time to sidestep the sharp instrument. It manage to nick her cheek and she sighed.

      “I don’t get paid enough for this.” She grumbled as she turned to the shelves to find something to treat her wound with. There was little left in place, but she found some wipes and, gauze, and tape. That would do for now. “Actually, I don’t get paid at all. I’m just an intern.”

      “Then why the hell are you here?” The man’s voice sounded a little less grating, his curiosity starting to give way over his rage. “Why the fuck are they sending some intern in here?”

      “I’m expendable, I suppose.” Without the use of a mirror, she cleaned off her cheek and taped the gauze in place. It would have to be redone later, but it would do well enough for the time being. Once that was done she scooped up his file again and flipped through it. “They’re getting desperate. These numbers are rubbish and they’re not even up to date.”

      “What’s that supposed to mean?” The sharp edge of rage was returning.

      “You’re going to die.” Rani sized him up from over the edge of the file. Taller than she was by at least ten centimetres if his file was accurate, but too thin. Thin enough for her to possibly fight with if necessary, but he was clearly not afraid to use deadly force if the scalpel had been any indication. So she had to use a different tactic and hope that would work. “We’re going to sit down and I’ll show you your file.”

      “Why would I do that?” His mint-eyes narrowed in suspicion and he tensed as she crossed the room to sit on the bed. Rather than wait for him to join her, she flipped to a page on his file and pointed at a chart.

      “The date on these are from a couple of days ago, but the numbers are all bad.” Ignoring his question, Rani settled down on the edge of the bed. She kept her eyes on the file and kept her ears turned on him in case he made any sudden movements.

      He was the strangest man she had ever seen. His eyes were the light blue-green of mint, a colour she had never seen a real person have. His hair was white, tips tinted with pink, and she could see strange looking eye tattooed on his right arm. He might even be handsome, she noted, if it were not for the crazed look in his eyes and the horrid health he were in.

      Pushing those thoughts aside, she focused on explaining the numbers to the patient as if she were giving herself a refresher course. Losing sense of the patient’s location, she fixated on the file and her explanations. By the time she got to the treatment recommendations, the patient was kneeling on the bed and peering over her shoulder.

      “Wait, what’s that?” He tapped the page. “Why do they want to give me that?”

      “It’s part of a course to safely wean you off the drug cocktail you were on.” Startled by his nearness she glanced over to see his face next to hers. “It’s risky, but it’s safer to wean under observation than to have you suffer through all the withdrawals at once.”

      “Ahh…” Noticing how close he had gotten to her, the patient drew back and retreated to his corner. “And that’ll make me feel better?”

      “Over time, yes.” Her phone chirped, warning her it was time for her to head back to the nurse’s wing to clock out. He startled at the sound and glared at her hip. “That’s just my phone. I’ve got a schedule to keep.”

      “What-”

      “Without getting on treatment soon, your chances of recovery are extremely low.” She snapped the file shut and hopped off the bed. “Before that, you need to start eating and drinking before you die from dehydration and the malnutrition.”

      “I don’t-”

      “Facts are facts.” Rani held up her hand and, to her surprise, he quieted. “If you don’t start eating and drinking willingly, they’ll be forced to strap you down and hook you up to get what you need intravenously. I don’t know what your problem with getting treatment is and, quite frankly, I don’t care.”

      “Then why are you here?” His voice was so quiet she could barely hear him.

      “Because I took an oath not to let anyone die on my watch.” She began making her way back to the door. “And they’ve offered me recommendation letters if I helped.”

      “So you don’t care about me.” His hand closed over her wrist, painfully hard, and she winced. “You’re just like the rest, pretending to care.”

      “I’m not pretending anything.” Forced to stop, Rani turned to face him. Her wrist ached from his hold and his hand was hot. The heat spread over her arm and made the hair at the back of her neck raise. “Don’t take any offence. I don’t care about anyone. I’m merely doing my job. Now, if you’ll unhand me…”

      The moment her hand touched his to pry his fingers free a spark jumped between their fingers. They froze in place, staring down at their hands for a long moment. Static electricity bounced between them, ongoing, and when they pulled apart they could see a line of electricity sparking between them.

      “Strange.” Rani examined her hands but saw nothing out of place. Brushing it off as a coincidence or a figment of her overtired mind, she dropped her hands. “I’m leaving now. They’ll try to get you to eat again soon. I hope you have enough sense about you to accept the meal.”

      She felt his eyes on her back as she made her way over the mess he had made of his room.

      “Miss Jeong,” At least he had some form of manners. “Will you return?”

      “It’s not likely.” Rani glanced back at him. He seemed so lonely, but she was unmoved. It was a hospital. A lot of people were lonely there. She had no time to feel sorry for the patient. “I’m not even assigned to this side of the hospital.”

      “I won’t eat if you don’t come back.” The ultimatum made her frown deepen.

      “I don’t see how my presence is a requirement for you to eat.” She snapped as she planted her hands on her hips. “You’re just being purposely difficult now, aren’t you?”

      “As long as I’m stuck here I’ll be making everyone’s life hell.” His smile was cruel, crueler than Rani thought anyone could look. “Yours included, Miss Jeong.”

      “You can try.” She turned away from him and tapped on the door to let the orderlies know to let her out. “Won’t be much hell if you don’t eat, now will it?”

      The door opened and Nurse Gim reclaimed the patient’s file before having Rani escorted to the head admin’s office. Her phone chimed twice more before she could finish signing all the paperwork, some of it was strict confidentiality agreements stating she could share nothing about the client with anyone.

      It was strange protocol for a patient, but Rani accepted it with a sigh. If this is what was needed for them to let her go for the evening, she was more than willing to sign anything they shoved in front of her.

      By the time they released her from the office she had lost nearly an hour of time. She hurried to the breakroom to find Hana waiting for her. The two of them were supposed to be spending the evening together as their annual ‘Girl’s Night’ and it was Hana’s turn to pick her up.

      “Sorry.” The apology went ignored by the strawberry blonde who was lost in the sketch she was working on. Figuring that Hana likely had not realised how late Rani actually was, the half-Indian shrugged and disappeared into the locker room to change out of her scrubs and grab her bag.

      To get Hana’s attention she stepped directly into the woman’s light. The artist shifted her sketchpad out of the shadow and Rani slid to follow it.  It took several more tries to get Hana to finally looked up.

      “I was working here.” Her pink lips curved down in a pout.

      “I noticed.” Rani’s eyes dipped down to the sketch, seeing the features of a handsome male. “We can go now.”

      “Oh, oh!” Remembering why she was there, Hana flushed as she closed her sketchbook and hurriedly stuffed it back into her artcase. “Right, yeah. Sorry for making you wait.”

      “Eh…” Rani rose an eyebrow at Hana. “Well, let’s go. We’re already an hour behind schedule and we’ll either have to skip the movie or skip the manicures to still get to bed at a decent hour.”


	3. Girl's Night In

      Hana always felt that Rani’s small apartment was cold. Not because of the temperature, but because of the lack of personal touches. There were no posters on the walls or knickknack’s on the shelves. She only had two photographs in the room in picture frame bookends supporting medical text books.

      “What happened to the painting I gave you for your birthday?” Hana frowned at the empty place on the wall near the bed.

      “It’s in the kitchen now.” Rani was nearly done emptying out her work bag and returning the contents to their proper places.

      “Why’d you move it?” Hana dropped her artcase and travel bag on the bed on her way into the kitchen. It only took her a minute to find the painting on the kitchen wall.

      “I can’t see it when I’m asleep.” Rani answered evenly. She frowned at the items tossed haphazardly on her bed, but said nothing about it as she picked it up and stashed it beside her entertainment stand.

      “Placement was illogical.” The half-Russian imitated a robot as she turned the painting so that it hung crooked on the wall. “Beep beep boop.”

      “Exactly.” With her bedroom slash living room slash study tidy again Rani grabbed the takeout bag from beside the door and entered the kitchen. She tapped the painting back into place on her way to table to set down the food. “Since the manicures were nixed, have you decided on a movie?”

      “You know, one of these days someone’s going crack you.” Hana huffed in disappointment at her inability to get a rise out of her. “Eh, I don’t know. We can just troll around on Netflix until we find something decent.”

      “I suppose so…” She shrugged as she opened up the takeout bag and removed their dinners. “Just no comedy tonight. The last one was boring.”

      “To the one with no sense of humour.” Hana grumbled as she moved away from the painting to fish drinks out of the refrigerator for them. As she set them on the table she caught side of the white gauze on Rani’s face. “Holy salad dressing, what happened to your face?”

      “Patient threw a scalpel at me.” Her hand rose to touch the gauze, remembering his face. Saeran Choi. That was what the file had said. “I should probably clean it and throw a band-aid on it.”

      “How can you be so calm about that?” Hana frowned as she followed Rani into the bathroom. The medical student did not even wince as she removed the bandaging, glancing down at the bloodied gauze for a moment before dropping it into the waste basket.

      “It’s only a nick.” She tilted her head to study it before turning to the little cabinet in her bathroom to pull out the tacklebox she had converted to a first aid kit. It only took her a second to find the supplies she needed to tend to the wound. “I’ve had worse.”

      “Yeah, from a rollerskating accident.” Planting her rear on the closed toilet set, she watched as Rani began to carefully clean the wound. “A patient attacked you! I get that your bedside manner isn’t the greatest, but you’ve never ticked one off enough for them to attack. What’d you say to him?”

      “I introduced myself.” Rani answered as she moved on to applying ointment carefully over the length of the cut. “Said I didn’t scare easy. I guess he decided to test it.”

      “What the everliving…” Hana huffed.

      “I’m fine.” She met Hana’s eyes through the mirror. “There’s no sense in letting it bother you.”

      “Is that why it took you so long?” She pressed for information. Since Rani was only an intern, the hospital never hung onto her for that long. “Wait, you’re not even assigned to the fifth floor, right? What were you doing up there?”

      “Confidential.” Rani carefully applied a band-aid to her cheek. “Who was the man you were sketching?”

      “Oh, right. You’ll never guess!” Pink filled Hana’s cheeks and she sat up straighter in excitement. Rani counted to five before her friend burst from waiting and began to talk in a rapid pace. “I went up to the fifth floor to find you and I ran into Doctor Marshal. You remember him, right? Yeah, of course you do. He was coming out of a patient’s room and he wanted me to pop in and say hello.”

      “So you did.” Rani cleaned up after herself and packed away her first aid kit before returning it to the shelf.

      “The patient in there, Jihyun Kim, is an photographer!” Hana got to her feet when Rani tugged on her arm and let her lead her back towards the kitchen. All the while her eyes remained on Rani, leaving the black haired woman to steer her to their destination safely. “His work’s been in galleries! He’s not super big or anything - I googled him in the breakroom - but he’s really good.”

      “You met him and now you’re sketching him.” Rani’s dry summary made her best friend pout.

      “You may it sound so…” Hana struggled to find a word for how mundane she made it sound. It was one of Rani’s many skills and one of the reasons why children used to call her ‘Robot Rani’ in grade school. “I know you don’t really get it, but couldn’t you at least pretend to be excited for me?”

      “You’d only see right through it.” Rani nudged her towards a chair and sunk down into the other one to open up her takeout box.

      “Well, yeah…” Hana tore open the plastic wrapper, grabbed a fork from it, and opened her own food to take a bit. She took her time chewing as she tried to figure out how to word what she wanted to say. Nothing seemed to ever bother Rani, but Hana was not about to upset her if she could help it. “Girl, I love you, but I think you’d really benefit from some drama lessons.”

      “You think?” Rani pulled open the plastic to free the white fork inside so she could start eating. “My schedule is already packed as it is. I hardly have time for an extracurricular unrelated to my doctorate.”

      “You’ve got no bedside manner to speak of.” Hana pointed her fork at her, a piece of chicken speared on the tines. “You take a drama class and you can learn to fake it.”

      “I don’t need to play sympathetic to be a good doctor.” The medical student countered after swallowing a mouthful of food. “I fix bodies, not hurt feelings.”

      “Speaking of… Have you seen that doctor again?”

      “No.” Rani answered simply. Hana waited for her to continue, to give some explanation, but the woman just continued to eat her dinner.

      “Why not?” Hana was not about to let the matter rest. The doctor was supposed to be one of the best in his field who had treated a number with disorders like Rani.

      Alexithymia. That was what the doctor’s had said Rani had. Rani was not an iceberg because she wanted to be cold to anyone, but because she just was cold. It was hard to gauge how much emotion the woman felt and when asked, her answers were always vague and straight to the point. Most of the the time she changed the subject since she considered that avenue of questioning to be pointless.

      It could be said that Rani was blind to emotions.

      “I don’t need to be fixed.” Rani finally said as she sat down her fork and reached for her drink. “The psychiatrist outlined the treatment plan and I decided against it. I kept my word that I would see him. I never promised to follow through with treatment.”

      “At least you heard him out.” Hana sighed heavily and poked at her food. “I hope that you’ll reconsider one of these days. Maybe after you get your doctorate?”

      “I will consider it.”

      There was no room left for them to continue that conversation. Nothing Hana could say would produce better results and she did not know enough about Rani’s alexithymia to argue about it. She had tried learning about it once, but the majority of what she read went right over her head.

      It was not like the disorder could be cured or would get worse. It was what it was. The treatment was only methods and therapy to deal with the symptoms.

      Dinner was finished and Hana left Rani to clean up, since she was so particular about how she wanted her kitchen, and went into the main room to load up Netflix. After much deliberation she ended up getting My Sassy Girl started up.

      The women ended up chattering throughout the film. Hana dominated the conversation, as she usually did when they spent time together. They talked about their classes, professors, and the current project claiming their freetime. Rani had a thesis she was working on for one class while Hana had a painting to turn in that counted for a good amount of her grade.

      The painting proved to be a good deal of trouble for Hana. She had the supplies and the canvas, but had yet to find the subject. Nothing she had tried spurred the passion and inspiration she needed to create something she felt sufficiently moving.

      The talk turned back to the patient Hana had met earlier that day. She did not expect to get much information from Rani, but she had to try just in case the intern had heard anything about the photographer. After receiving a bounty of negative replies Rani promised to relay any information on the man if she happened to hear about him.

      “Thanks for that.” Hana blew her a kiss. “Just don’t violate his privacy or anything.”

      “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Even if she had access to the patient’s files, she would only share what would not be considered a breach of patient-doctor confidentiality. Which meant next to nothing, for the most part. “Are you going to visit him again?”

      “Yeah, as long as he’s up to it.” She grinned at the idea. Maybe he will even allow her to sketch him so she would not have to do it by memory. “He wasn’t exactly keen on visitors today, but I managed to win him over. I think.”

      “If anyone can do it, you can.” Rani glanced at the clock beside her bed. She slid off the bed and headed to her wardrobe to pull out a pair of pyjamas.

      “Is it that late already?” Hana glanced at the clock with a pout. “Really, Rani, would it kill you to stay up a little?”

      “No, but it would affect my performance at work.” Rani tugged off her shirt and bra before slipping on her pyjama top.

      “Ugh! One of these days I’ll corrupt you, just wait and see.” Hana paused the movie and hopped up to get a drink from the kitchen. “I’ll drag you out on vacation and you’ll love it.”

      “If you say so.” Rani finished changing into her nightclothes and deposited her laundry into the basket. She made her way into the bathroom to complete that portion of her nightly ritual. “I won’t stop you from trying.”

      “Like you even could!” Hana chirped as she abandoned her drink on the kitchen counter and bounced towards the bathroom to make faces at Rani who was scrubbing her teeth. “Hey, about the patient that hurt you…”

      Rani’s eyes narrowed, but she was unable to reply with a mouthful of toothpaste. The warning look she gave her harkened back to her earlier statement informing her that she was not supposed to talk about him or the incident that would likely leave a scar.

      “Not asking for any details, exactly.” Hana gave Rani her brightest smile. “What does he look like?”

      “Wha?” Rani spat out the toothpaste and wiped her mouth. She stuck her toothbrush under the faucet to clean it off. “Why in the world would you even ask that? What does his appearance look like?”

      “I’m just curious.” The strawberry-blonde held up her hands. “It’s not like I’m planning on hunting him down and cutting him.”

      “Hana…”

      “What! I said I wasn’t planning on it!” Although she really, really liked the idea. Hana was not exactly the type to get such petty revenge. “The most I’ll do is trip him or prank him.”

      “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s not exactly stable.” She reached for the mouthwash and gargled with it before spitting into the sink. “I’ll only tell you what he looks like if you promise to steer clear.”

      “That bad, huh?”

      “Hana, I need you to promise.” Rani turned to her and pinned her with an intense stare, searching her eyes. “Promise me you’ll steer clear.”

      “Alright. I’ll avoid him.” Hana met her gaze, knowing that Rani would either have to accept her at her word or choose to not trust her. She was not lying though. She had no intentions of ever get close to the patient crazy enough to hurt her friend. There were still pranks she could play on the patient to get revenge without going near him. “Promise.”

      “Uh huh…” There was a long moment of silence stretching between them before Rani’s shoulders slumped and Hana knew she had won. “Average height for a guy, underweight. Short choppy hair with a strange dye-job.”

      “Vaguebot.” Hana scowled at the lack of detail. “What kind of dyejob? Eye colour? Any distinguishing features? How old was he?”

      “White…” Rani’s hand went to her hair own hair as she conjured up the image of the patient. “Pinkish tips. Pretty edgy, I guess, for someone who’s close to our age.”

      Then again, judging on the amount of drugs his file claimed was in his system, it was highly likely the man had gotten in with a very bad crowd. Maybe the fashion choices tied in with that. Gangs tended to have some kind of distinctive identifier.

      “Eyes were… like mint.” She could see them clearly in her mind and frowned. There was something about his eyes that was unsettling. She poked at the sensation for a moment before deciding she could not figure it out and brushing it aside. “And he’s got a tattoo.”

      “Huh. Bit edgy for my tastes…” Hana tried to paint a mental image, but Rani’s description was not quite enough. Still, she was certain there were very few who would match that particular look. “Was he handsome?”

      “That isn’t important.” Rani’s frown deepened at the question. Hana had that look on her face as if she were not about to let the question rest. “He’s a patient and a troubled one at that. Whether or not I thought he was handsome is-”

      “Was he?”

      “Okay, he kind of was.” She flipped off the bathroom light and scooted around Hana on her way back towards the bedroom. “Now, if you’re done questioning me, I really need to get to sleep.”

      “Fine, fine.” Hana’s curiosity was sated for the time being, but she would definitely make a point to keep an eye out for the man. “Goodnight!”


	4. Glitch - Fear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!

     Rani found herself in the familiar halls of the hospital, but the soft tinkle of bells accompanied her movement. The tile beneath her feet chilled her and the swish of her silk skirt did little to offer any warmth against the cool air of the hospital’s climate control.

     She walked without knowing where she was going, but certain she would reach her destination.

     The hospital was unusually silent. The PA did not buzz to life calling for a doctor’s attention. There was no one milling around, hands clasped around a cup of coffee while they waited for their loved one’s diagnosis. There was no one and no sounds other than the quiet fall of Rani’s feet and the soft jangle of her bells.

     Down the halls and to the elevator with out buttons. The doors swung shut and carried her up. There was no ding as the elevator passed floors nor any sound of the machinery, but she could feel the pull of the shifting gravity.

     Eventually the sensation stopped and the elevator doors slid open. Rani’s feet left the rubber flooring of the elevator and followed the unmarked path pulling her forward. Step by step the hallway grew colder and dimmer, but she found herself recognising the shadowy shapes.

     The fifth floor.

     Rani found herself in front of a door she had seen earlier that day, but now there was no cluster of medical gathered near the door. There was nothing to stop her from reaching for the knob.

     It should have been locked. Logic told her that, but it gave little resistance as she turned. The light that washed over her was warm and blinding and she had to lift one henna painted hand to shield her eyes.

     “Miss Jeong.” The voice that greeted her as she stepped into the grassy field was familiar. “What are you doing here?”

     “Dreaming, apparently.” She lowered her hand and tried to focus through the sunlight. Grass tickled her feet and the faint smell of flowers tickled her nose.

     “I’m flattered you’d dream about me.” The smile that graced his face seemed sharp edged.

     “I dream about work all the time.” Rani moved through the grass to where the mint-eyed man was sitting in the middle of the field. His eyes moved away from her and towards the blue sky that stretched above them peppered with soft, fluffy clouds.

     “Trying to figure out how to fix me even in your sleep?” He sighed. “Fuck off. Just leave me alone.”

     “I suppose I am.” She sat down on the grass carefully arranged her skirt to cover her legs. Her painted hands were clasped lightly in her lap as she studied him. “Usually that’s the logical conclusion of my dreams. I puzzle over something until I figure it out.”

     “I’m not some puzzle you can piece together.” He rolled over onto his side to study her, eyes moving over her figure. “You’re a strange one, aren’t you?”

     “Everyone’s a puzzle and there’s always some answer.” She wondered if she had offended him, but did not bother asking. “I do have to wonder why we’re here. This setting is not conducive to a medical investigation.”

     “I’m almost offended.” Yet he was smiling for some reason. “You look better like that.”

     “Like this?” She looked down at her henna covered hands. “This is unusual too. I never dress like this.”

     “A shame.” His pale fingers reached out to brush against the lines drawn on her dark skin. Incomprehensible numbers danced “You look like a Bollywood actress. Will you sing for me?”

     “Is this my dream or yours?” She watched him trace the markings on her skin. His finger felt warm and she wondered how someone who could touch so gently could also have caused such destruction in a hospital room. “If I don’t sing, are you going to throw something at me again?”

     “What are you…” His eyes lifted to her cheek, marred with the cut even in this dreamspace. His hand left hers to brush against the wound. “Oh. Did it hurt?”

     “Not really.” Something about the touch spread warmth through her body. Confused by this, she wondered if she should move away. In the end she remained still. Perhaps this was part of the puzzle her subconscious was wanting to understand. “This dream is illogical.”

     “Are you sure you’re not some kind of android?” He drew back and sat up. “You didn’t flinch then and you’re not flinching now. You should be terrified of me. Terrified of what I’ll do to you.”

     “I have no reason to fear you.” Rani replied with a shrug.

     “No reason?” His hand shot out and tangled with her hair, gripping it hard and jerking her forward. Her nose nearly touched his and she could feel his breath fanning out across her face when he breathed. “I’m going to make you regret those words.”

     “Why do you want me to fear you?” Her scalp prickled with pain and her heart raced. “Better yet, why do I care? Your psychological state is not my concern.”

     “You’re a liar, just like everyone else…” His eyes were wide and unfocused and his grip tightened further. “You should fear me. You need to fear me.”

     “Saeran Choi.” The name from the file. His name. It made him tense up and his grip loosen slightly. “Let go of me.”

     “Don’t say that.” His voice came out as a growl, filled with emotions Rani could not identify. He yanked hard on her hair and surged forward. Her centre of gravity tipped and she found herself sprawled out on the grass, the only thing saving her head from hitting the ground was Saeran’s hold on her hair.

     “Say what?” Rani closed her eyes against the dizziness from the sudden movement. Numbers moved over the back of her eyelids. Ones and zeros flying at speeds that did not help her dizziness. “Might want to be a bit more specific there, Mr Choi.”

     “Don’t say my name.” His face was closer to hers again and when she opened her eyes his eyes were nearly all she could see. “You say it again, I’m going to hurt you. I’ll make you suffer. I’ll be the thing you have nightmares about.”

     “I don’t have nightmares.” With his body pressed against hers, her heartrate was going up and the warmth spread fast to make her feel overheated. Was that fear? She did not think so. “You won’t make me fear you.”

     “You need to.” His voice took on a higher pitch and his free hand wrapped around her neck. He tightened his hold until breathing grew difficult. “You and everyone else. You need to get pricked by my thorns and stay far away from me.”

     “I-it wasn’t my choice to meet you.” She was growing lightheaded and had to force the words out. His grip did not hurt nor was it threatening at this point, but it was uncomfortable and definitely inconvenient. “Nor is it my fault that I’m dreaming about you. Hana was pestering me with questions about you before bed and that’s likely why you’re here-”

     “Is that what you think?” His grip on her throat suddenly loosened. Saeran’s fingers trailed down, dragging her nails over her flesh. “What if I told you that you’re wrong?”

     “I wouldn’t be surprised,” Gooseflesh rose up in response to the strange caress. “You were rather contrary. It would make sense that you’d be the same here.”

     “I could kill you right now.” Saeran’s hand moved lower and closed over her breast. He squeezed hard, and dug his nails in threw the thin fabric of her top. She winced and a wild smile of satisfaction spread across his face. “Oh look, the robot can feel pain after all. That’ll make this much more enjoyable.”

     “Get off.” Rani’s hands found his shoulders and pushed, but the thin man’s strength was surprising and he did not move much. “I’m not going to fear you just because you’re getting a bit handsy so let go and get off of me.”

     “So stubborn. So cold…” His smile remained in place as she moved his hand lower too drag over her torso. “But you don’t know what I’m capable of.”

     The sky darkened overhead and lightning streaked across the sky tearing numbers into the blue. Ones and zero. Zeroes and one. In the distance Rani could hear a woman scream in pain. Saeran’s face grew pale and he trembled.

     “No, no, no.” He drew back onto his knees and clamped his hands over his ears. “Stop it, stop!”

     “This is strange.” Rani pushed herself up on her elbows and looked around. The sun was gone and green streaked across the now blackened sky. Colour leached from the grass as the landscape began to lose its shape and break around. All the while the screaming grew louder. “What’s going on?”

     “My Angel,” Saeran groaned in pain. “My Angel is punishing me again. Reminding me of my failures…”

     “Your Angel?” Rani took her eyes off of the landscape and focused them on the man still straddling her. His eyes were wide and locked on something behind her. Dropping her head back, she could see two women standing at the edge of the partially destroyed field. A tall smiling blonde stood next to a shorter woman with vibrant purple hair and mint eyes who was frowning. “Who are they?”

     Saeran did not answer her, but the screaming stopped suddenly. Instead the women opened their mouths to talk, but no sound came out. Rani could feel Saeran’s trembling growing stronger with each mute word the women spoke. Lifting her head she could see he was digging his fingers into his scalp, every inch of his body tense as if he were about to snap at any given moment.

     The dream was getting far too surreal for Rani’s tastes. It had been off from the start, but it was turning downright ridiculous. She was having trouble trying to find a logical explanation for anything that was happening at this point. It was starting to overwhelm her.

     “Enough of this bullshit.” Rani pushed forward, shoving Saeran off her legs. He hit the ground hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs, but she could not care less. Getting to her feet, Rani glanced back at the two unfamiliar women. “You two are unwelcome here so leave.”

     The blonde woman’s smile fell and her face transformed into clear fury. Her mouth moved rapidly and her shoulder heaved, as if she were yelling, but Rani heard nothing. The purple haired woman’s reaction was different. Her frown transformed into a smile as the numbers. Again, nothing she said reached Rani.

     The numbers rushed in and the women disappeared from sight.

     “Why?” Saeran asked from behind her. “Why did you do that?”

     “Because this is my dream and I’m restoring some order to it.” She turned on her heel to stare down at him, contemplating his presence. “It must have been the take-out we picked up on the way home. Studies show food can sometimes effect dreams. Maybe it was even dosed with something-”

     “Shut up.” The mint-eyed man got to his feet. His hand closed over her upper arm, tugging her in close and clamping a hand over her mouth for good measure. “Stop your babbling, bitch.”

     Unable to reply Rani narrowed her eyes in warning. His hand was hot over her mouth and he half-grinned at her. Pulling her head back did no good since he followed the movement so she opened her mouth and licked him.

     “What the fuck.” Saeran yanked his hand away from her mouth and rubbed the saliva off onto his shirt. “Gross.”

     “You think that was gross?” One dark eyebrow rose as she watched his reaction. “You should’ve been on my end.”

     Neither of them backed off. Saeran’s grip on her upperarm remained tight and Rani merely lifted her chin in wordless challenge. Their eyes met and locked in a nonverbal battle of dominance. The world around them, partially consumed by numbers, switched rapidly between the organic shapes of the field and the right angles and clean structure of the hospital.

     His bruising grip on her arm loosened around the time that her chest brushed against his. Saeran’s expression changed as he stared down at Rani. Her breath caught in her throat as his freehand came up to brush over her cheek, the touch so soft she questioned if he had even made contact.

     In the next breath his eyes widened and he pushed her. She hit the tile hard enough to slide back a bit and groaned. Her hand immediately went to her rear to rub the ache out.

     “I’ll kill you.” His voice was low as he stared at her, his eyes still wide and wild. Behind him the numbers crept closer, tearing away everything but the grass at his feet and the tile she sat on. “Next time I see you, Rani Jeong, I’ll kill you.”

     “Is that so?” Rani got to her feet and planted her hands on her hips, tilting her head as her eyes moved over him. The numbers moved closer to her, eating up the floor she left contact with. “I’d like to see you try.”

     His laughter echoed in her ears even as she rolled over to shut off her beeping alarm clock. It was only later, as she was showering in preparation for her day, that she found the bruises on her upper arm and breast. The vivid discolouration left by a hand larger than her own that had no logical explanation for being there.

     Rani felt something at the sight of those and turned her face towards the shower to let the hot water wash over her. A loss of equilibrium, a twist in her gut, and an extra thump of her heart.

     What it meant, she was not sure, but she wondered if that was what fear felt like.


	5. Android Nurse

      Hana was still asleep by the time Rani had to leave for her morning classes. Knowing that the strawberry blonde was free for the day, Rani let her sleep in. She slipped her friend’s breakfast in the microwave and slapped a post-it onto the door and onto the fridge to let her know to just heat it up and leave the dishes in the sink.

      Rani sat through two lectures, scribbling notes down into her notebook to be rewritten and organised later. Once she was freed from her scholarly duties she gathered up her things and headed back to the hospital for a couple of hours more of her internship.

      She had barely gotten her scrubs on and locker closed before the PA system crackled to life, summoning her to the administrator’s office. Sighing heavily at the change of scheduling, she clipped on her identification and headed out to find out what was wanted from her.

      Chances were good it had something to do with Saeran Choi, but there was also the chance that Nurse Gim had actually written her up for insubordination and marking the breakroom etiquette and procedures page.

      “Miss Jeong!” The hospital administrator, an older woman with grey streaked hair, motioned her into the office. “Rani Jeong here is the intern I was telling you about.”

      “Ahh, yes.” A brunette sharp-dressed woman stood and offered her business card “Jaehee Kang. Pleasure to meet you, Miss Jeong.”

      “Pleasure.” Rani accepted the business card and looked down at it, wondering what an employee of C&R wanted from her. “Why am I here?”

      “Miss Kang came in to discuss a particular patient.” The administrator plucked a file from a drawer and dropped it onto the desk. “I informed her of your assistance yesterday.”

      “Ahh.” She glanced at Jaehee Kang who was settling into a chair. She shoved the business card into her pocket before claiming the other seat in front of the desk. “I signed the non-disclosure agreements regarding the patient. I trust there’s no complications with them?”

      “No. Everything’s fine.” Jaehee smiled at her. “It’s been reported that after your assistance yesterday the patient became more cooperative.”

      “I figured he would.” If only to continue to spite them all. “He’ll eat only to continue being contrary.”

      “I suppose that’s the case…” The hospital administrator cleared her voice and drew their attention. Once their eyes were on hers she pulled out a packet of paperwork from the file. “Although this is entirely against the typical protocol, I’d like to formally ask if Miss Jeong can be assigned to this case.”

      “I’m not an employee here,” Rani pointed out immediately as her eyes slid to the paperwork. “And I haven’t received my doctorate yet.”

      “We’re aware.” The older woman replied gently. “This patient has been… problematic since he was taken in. You’ve made more progress with him than anyone else on staff. If we assign you to shadow his doctor, legally we can allow you to be his nurse. Of course, you will be offered a salary for the duration of this assignment and it will look stellar on our reports for your professors.”

      “There’s a decent chance the progress I made with him will not last, especially if he decides to spite me.” It was something she could see the contrary male doing, especially if he caught wind of the deal that was being offered her. He had expressed a clear determination to make people’s lives hell.

      “There is, but…” The administrator passed the paperwork to Jaehee to look through. “The patient requested that you be his personal nurse early this morning, promising at least partial cooperation in the future.”

      After Jaehee finished going through the paperwork she expressed her reluctant agreement that it was worth a shot. She signed and offered the packet to Rani who carefully read each page. Most of it was lawyer-speak that appeared to be protecting the hospital from any lawsuit against them for Rani’s participation in the case.

      In the end Rani signed. Regardless of what would happen, being able to shadow the doctor on a case as interesting as this was a learning experience she could not turn down. After the paperwork was signed and dealt with, the administrator put it aside and began to run them both through the case.

      “We’ve found traces of methanol, mushrooms, peyote cactus in his system along with other substances we have yet to identify. That being said, it will take time to remove all these substances and bring him back to health.” The grey-haired woman sighed as she eyed the paperwork, drumming her fingers against the doctor’s notes on the case. “It’s remarkable he managed to come this far with that body.”

      “Anyways,” Jaehee’s soft voice drew the woman’s attention back to her. “Please do everything you can do to ensure a fast recovery.”

      “We’ll do our very best, as Mr. Han requested.” The administrator assured her. “And… the other patient of interest should be released soon, unless he agrees to further treatment for his preexisting injury.”

 

#

 

      “Just hold still a moment,” The nurse’s hand was shaking as she approached the bedside. “I’m just going to take your blood pressure before I administer more pain medication.”

      “Get lost!” Saeran lashed out and nearly caught the nurse in the face with a book that had been placed on his bedside. She shrieked and scrambled towards the door.

      “Saeran…” Saeyoung sighed as he stepped between the frightened nurse and his brother, giving her a chance to retreat to safety. He stepped forward. “She’s only trying to help.”

      “Don’t come near me.” Saeran snapped at his brother who flinched at the harshness in his tone. The familiar rush of anger grounded him even if part of him felt bad for hurting his brother. It needed to be done. “I’m going to kill you all.”

      He had to hurt him. He had to keep pushing him away to keep from being hurt again. It was better this way. Comforting, even, to be aggressive.

      “Saeran,” Saeyoung tried again.

      “Why are you in front of my eyes?” He stopped him before anything else could be said, mint-eyes narrowing. The red-head closed his mouth, holding back his words and his emotions. “Get lost before I kill you.”

      “I’ll come back later.” Defeated once again Saeyoung sighed and turned towards the door where the nurse from before was still trembling. The door cracked open and someone else slipped in, but view of the newcomer was blocked by Saeyoung’s slumped shoulders. “Hello?”

      “Rani Jeong.” The familiar voice made Saeran stiffen. He had half expected her to turn down the idea of being his nurse. He half wanted her too. Whatever they had offered her must have been good. “Nurse Lucy, you’re free to go. I’ll handle the patient from now on.”

      “Good luck with that.” Lucy did not hesitate one bit to escape the room.

      “Miss Jeong,” Saeyoung cleared his throat and drew Rani’s dark eyes onto him. Her eyes flickered over him for a moment before settling on his face. “I’m Saeyoung and-”

      “I don’t really care who you are.” She cut him off as she slipped past him to approach the bed. The red-head’s eyes followed her movements as she reached for the cuff and Saeran’s arm to check his blood pressure. “Obviously you’re some relative, but you’re no medical professional so I’m certain nothing you have to say is of importance at this moment.”

      “If it isn’t my personal android nurse.” Saeran’s eyes locked on her, allowing her to wrap the cuff around his arm to check his blood pressure. “Where’s the henna?”

      “The henna…” Remembering the strange dream and the bruises she had found, her fingers slipped on the cuff for a split second. It had to be a coincidence. “Racist.”

      “Hardly.” He watched her as she checked his blood pressure and marked it down on his chart.

      “Will you be okay?” Saeyoung’s question drew their attention to the door where he hesitated to leave. His golden eyes remained on the door.

      “Get the fuck out.” Saeran’s words made him flinch but he nodded and left without another word.

      “And people call me cold.” Rani commented as she checked Saeran’s chart again. Moving to the cabinet she fished out the medication he was scheduled to be dosed with and returned to his bedside. “Arm.”

      “You’re not going to ask?” He drew away from her when she reached for his arm, eyeing the needle in her hand suspiciously. “What’s that?”

      “Nope. It’s none of my business.” Rani sighed and held up the bottle so he could see the label neatly printed on the side. “Pain medication. Might make you drowsy, but it’ll stop the pain for a while.”

      “Yeah, sure.” Saeran drawled as he eyed the bottle, not sure if he had heard of the medicine before or not. At any rate, he was not about to trust receiving a shot of it. Not from her or anyone else in the wretched hospital. “Give it up. I’m not giving you my arm for that shit.”

      “Suit yourself.” Rani chucked the needle in the refuse bin and put away the medicine before marking his refusal on the chart. “They told me you’ve started eating.”

      “Has nothing to do with you, bitch.” The words came out sharp, meant to cut but the dark haired woman seemed unmoved by them. “So, how would you like to die?”

      “Of old age.” After catching up on the notes left by the other nurses and doctor Rani returned his chart to its proper place and turned to him. “Did you expect any other answer?”

      “Shut up.” Her lack of reaction to his barbs made him grit his teeth. His comfort level had risen when Saeyoung left, but Rani was messing him up.

      He needed his aggression. He needed to threaten everyone with his thorns. To poke and prick and break them. To keep them away from him. He needed his thorns to be so long and sharp that it kept everyone else’s thorns away from him.

      It was better that way. Safer. Less painful. No one could hurt him if he impaled them on his own thorns first.

      Rani was a challenge. He had yet to feel her thorns and she had yet to feel his yet. She would eventually. He was determined to get to her before she could get to him.

      At least, in the meantime, he had someone who was at least somewhat honest around.

      “Oi, are you even listening to me?” Rani leaned over the bed and stuck her finger in his face. “Follow this for a moment.”

      “What the hell…” When had she gotten so close? Saeran slapped her hand away and levelled a glare on her. “Leave me alone.”

      “No can do, pretty boy.” She lifted her hand again and held up her finger, waving it back and forth. Despite himself, Saeran started following the movement with his eyes. After a moment she moved her hand and poked him in the cheek. He batted away the touch and she frowned. “You’re losing focus and your reaction speed is off. Not surprising considering the crap that’s in your system.”

      “Fuck off.”

      “No can do.” Rani ruffled his hair and turned away to head to the cabinets and pluck something out of the drawer. “I’m your personal nurse, remember? You’re stuck with me until you get a clean bill of health.”

      “I’m already beginning to regret that.” He watched her warily as she turned. There was something like a small hammer in her hands. “What are you doing with that?”

      “Testing your reflexes.” Rani pointed with the reflex hammer to the edge of the bed. “Sit.”

      Curiosity getting the better of him, Saeran threw his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. She did not even look up at him as she tapped him on the knees, mumbling to herself as she watched his leg jerk. The taps did not hurt, but it was uncomfortable to have no control over the movement for that split second.

      Angry, Saeran’s hand found her ponytail and yanked. Rani yelped and pulled back and the hairtie came off in his hand, unleashing the length of black she had carefully tied back to keep it out of her way. With her hair loose he could see her from his dreams, dressed in colourful silk, dark skin decorated with the burnt red swirls and shapes of henna art. Her colours striking against the grass of his dreamscape.

      He hated her. Hated her like he had never hated anyone before.

      “What was that for?” Rani slid her fingers into her hair, rubbing at the scalp that had protested when he yanked on her ponytail. “And give me my hairtie back.”

      “Make me.” Saeran challenged her without thinking. “What are you gonna do, nursey? Tap my knees again?”

      “Must you be so contrary?” Rani’s chest tightened uncomfortably and her grip tightened on the reflex hammer. “I’m just trying to do my job.”

      “And I’m making your life hell.” The laughter that came from his lips was high-pitched as he dangled her hairtie between them. “Come on, android. You do want this back, don’t you?”      “I’m not an android.” She reached for the hairtie but he jerked his hand back too keep her from grabbing it.

      “That was pathetic! Don’t you need this? Part of your professional look?”

      “I have a spare.” Yet she reached for it again only to have him drop it and grab her wrist. He pulled, showing surprising strength for someone with his bad health, and she tumbled onto his lap. “Mr Choi!”

      “Miss Jeong.” Even with her disorder she could tell his tone as mocking. His hand remained tight on her wrist as he reached for the other one, pinching it until her fingers opened and the hammer fell away to bounce against the floor.

      “Let go.” Rani gave an experimental tug but Saeran only tightened his grip. A sense of deja vu rose up as their eyes met and held. She could almost smell the grass.

      “Make me.” Saeran’s smile widened as he drew her closer, pinning her arms behind her back. With his arms locked around her and his grip tight on her grips there was little she could do. “Ahh, but you can’t, can you? All trapped like this. Don’t you feel powerless?”

      “Not really.” Her words made his smile fall. “What kind of professional would I be if I allowed myself to feel powerless?”

      “The fun kind.” He released her and turned away. “Open the window.”

      “Sure, sure.” Rani slid off of his lap and headed towards the window. With them being on the fifth floor the windows could only open so far, but it was enough to let a breeze in especially with the curtains pushed aside. Sunlight filled the room along with the faint floral scent of the hospital gardens. “Better?”

      “That’s as wide as it goes?” Saeran frowned as he stared at the gap. Not enough to even put his head through. His attention shifted to the woman standing in the sunlight and he felt the world shift.

      He could not explain the shift, but there was something about the way she was bathed in sunlight that affected him. In the sunlight he could see the lighter tones in her black hair shining with faint traces of red and brown. The sun shone through her scrub top, barely revealing the outline of her curves.

      “Safety measures.” Rani turned to face him and was taken aback by the way he stared at her. She brushed her hair out of her face, taking a moment to steady herself, before leaving the window. She could feel his eyes following her movement. “I should be going. If you need anything, press the call button. If not, then I’ll be back around dinnertime to check your vitals and offer the pain medication again.”

      Rani carefully avoided meeting his eyes as she headed towards the door. For the first time Saeran had gotten a reaction out of her, though she refused to let it show. She just was not sure what it meant and she certainly did not want to give him anything he could use against her.

      The door shut behind her and Saeran let out a breath. He flexed his fingers, trying to settle his jumping nerves and his finger brushed against the simple black elastic hairtie he had stolen from Rani. Without thinking he curled his fingers around the hairtie and drew it closer.

      He really hated her.


	6. Dial 3 for Hana

      It was around noon that Hana found herself outside of Jihyun Kim’s hospital room, bag and artcase in hand. She tapped on the door and popped inside as soon as she heard a response. The teal hair man was facing the door as she entered and after a moment smiled.

      “Miss Volkov, right?” Although he had only smelled her perfume once before, he had yet to meet anyone else with the same scent.

      “Right in one! You cool with me visiting again?”

      “Yes.” He answered after a moment and motioned towards where he thought the chair was. “Come sit. It’ll be a welcome break from my own thoughts.”

      “Brooding artist, huh?” Hana bumped the door shut behind her and sunk down into the chair, wishing it was a bit more plush. At least she was not a blushing mess this time, nervous about him throwing her out. “Wanna talk about it?”

      “It’s complicated.” The smile he offered her was a bit self-depreciating and she wondered what his story was. “How about we talk about you? I asked the doctor about you. Apparently you’re fairly well known around here.”

      “Yeah, I’ve been coming here for a while. Doing pictures for the kids and some of the adults. Something to brighten their days a bit.” She dropped her stuff beside the chair to settle in more comfortably. “I spent so much time here it just kind of happened, but I enjoy it.”

      “Why would you spend so much time in a hospital? It’s not exactly the place most young women choose to hang around.” Jihyun narrowed his eyes a little in an attempt to make out her fuzzy shape. “I apologise for presuming anything, but you sound rather young.”

      “I’m twenty-four.” She bit back an amused laugh. “And it’s alright. I guess it is unusual. I was a patient here for a while and now my friend works here. So I guess I’m kind of used to this place.”

      “A patient?” He latched onto that and sat up a bit straighter. “Were you-”

      “Nuh uh. Not saying.” A smile spread over Hana’s face and she reached forward to tap his hand. “So, have you considered letting me sketch you, Mr Kim?”

      “Please, call me Jihyun or V.” The little smile he gave her could almost be seen as bashful, especially with the faint colour rising to his pale cheeks. “And I’ve thought a little about it. It’s just a little… surprising, I guess. I’m used to being on the other end of the camera, after all.”

      “I get that.” Hana tried to imagine what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot. If someone like Jihyun had asked to photograph her… The idea alone made her cheeks flush with colour. “No pressure, but the offer still stands. A face as pretty as yours demands capture.”

      “You flatter me, Miss Volkov!”

      “If I’m calling you by your name, you’re calling me by my name. Got it?” Hana teased him in return, enjoying the sight of his blush deepening and the smile that graced his lips. “So how long are you in for?”

      “Not much longer, I think.” His hand went to rub his gunshot wound, wincing in memory of the pain. Thankfully the pain medication they had him on did well to keep it to a dull ache. “They say I’m healing well. I was lucky it wasn’t worse. If it wasn’t for Morrigan…”

      “Morrigan?” She felt a pang in her chest when she heard the name, but tried her best to ignore it. “She helped you?”

      “She saved my life ever after everything I did to her and her boyfriend.” The weight of guilt and shame made his shoulders slump. It was all Hana could do to keep herself still when her instincts urged her to offer him comfort. “She’s okay, thankfully. I don’t know how I could handle it if she had died trying to save me…”

      “But she didn’t.” Hana did not know what kind of drama he had gotten into that led him to the hospital, but she could tell it was something that bothered him a great deal. Her hand found his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t let the past drag you down.”

      “If you knew what happened…” He gave her hand a thankful squeeze before pulling away. “You wouldn’t even be talking to be right now.”

      “But I don’t know.” She pointed out gently. “And even if I did I don’t think you’re half as bad as you’re making yourself out to be.”

      “But-”

      “People make mistakes.” Hana cut him off firmly. “But you can’t make things right if you let yourself drown in the past. You don’t want to be a bad person, then stop acting like you’re one.”

      “You’re not as demure as I originally thought you were,” Jihyun noted with a bit of surprise. “You’re quite the puzzle, Hana.”

      “I was just nervous last time.” She could see why he had thought she was a demure woman. Her nerves had gotten the better of her and it had showed in her behaviour. “Meeting an art pro who didn’t really want me around who happened to be gorgeous. Yeah, just a tad bit nervous.”

      “There’s no need to be nervous. I’m not anyone special.” He could not see anything special about himself, but hearing Hana talk about him made him feel warm even though he deserved none of it. It made him uncomfortable so he picked at the blanket draped over his legs and changed the topic. “So what made you decide to go into art?”

      “I used to draw little comics for my friend.” They had been short and crude, but she had been proud of them at the time. She had grown quite a bit since then and sometimes wondered if Rani still had some of them. “It was back in our early school days. I made them to try to explain body language and emotions to her.”

      “That was really sweet of you.” Even without understanding why her friend would need such a thing, it was still sweet. That kind of time and effort for someone else was not something everyone was capable of. He could not help but admire her for that. “And you’re still doing something similar with the work you do around here.”

      “Yeah, I guess so.” Hana blushed beneath his praise and rubbed at a smear of ink on her thumb. “I just really like it. Capturing a moment, emotions, passion, and the like. So it’s my thing, you know?”

      “It was kind of the same for me.” Jihyun lowered his head to look down at his hands, but could barely make out anything. It was almost impossible to remember living without the blackness swallowing his vision or the pain in his eyes, but he could not forget the feel and weight of his camera. “Now I’m not sure what I’ll do.”

      “Have you talked to Doctor Marshall?” Hana leaned forward to peer at his face. Downturned and covered in shadows, she still had the urge to draw him but she resisted the urge. Even if he was still beautiful in his pain, there was something so intimate that she would never dream of trying to put it down on paper. “About your eyes?”

      “He’s tried to talk options with me, but I’ve shot him down.” He turned his head towards her voice, wondering what kind of face she was making. Did Hana pity him? Did she think he was pathetic? “It might be too late at this point anyways.”

      It bothered him more than it should that he did not have a face to the friendly voice.

      “But you won’t know if you don’t try!” Hana tried to keep her voice as cheerful as possible in an attempt to infect him with some optimism. “You can at least talk options with him in case there’s still hope. I mean, they’ve made a lot of advances in optometry. There might still be something-”

      “Hana,” Jihyun’s gentle voice cut off Hana’s impassioned speech. “I really appreciate it, but it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

      “So you’ve given up on trying to stop it?” It was something that Hana could not wrap her mind around. Giving up on something so fundamental to her art was just unthinkable. As she watched she saw his expression tighten and a wiggling impossible thought rose in her mind. “Or… have you never tried to stop it?”

      “It’s complicated.” Hana took that as a yes. “My eyes… The one who injured them was very important to me. This injury was the last thing she gave to me.”

      “Dude, that’s fucked.” There was no other way to put it. Even without knowing all the details, there was no possible way she could spin that information to make it anything less than fucked up. “I can tell that she’s important to you, but letting yourself go blind is just plain stupid.”

      “You’re really not very demure at all, are you?”

      “I’m not a fan of sugarcoating things.” Hana offered unapologetically. It was one of the reasons why she had few friends. Being more interested than art than actual people hardly helped, but some people could not handle her blunt tongue. “No offence meant at all, but you’re giving up your art for a memory of someone who abused you. It’s just not healthy.”

      “She didn’t abuse me,” Jihyun looked up at her, wishing he could see the face of the woman speaking such horrible things. He should be angry. He should be defending his ex-fiance, but he had no words for it. “She was… ill.”

      “Abuse is abuse, ill or not.” Her tone softened and she reached for his hand. He let her take it and warm it between her soft hands. “I know it’s not my place to say this, but it needs to be said. Even if she was sick when she hurt your eyes, letting it blind you is only immortalising that moment. If you want something to remember her by, talk to the doctor, try to get your eyesight back, and honour who she was before she turned abusive.”

      “I’ll think about it.” He finally said after the silence stretched between them long enough for Hana to wonder if she had angered him. She watched carefully for any sign of irritation, but he only appeared to be tired. “I… thank you for caring enough to say that.”

      “Anytime you need some truth, gimme a call.” The relief she felt was real. The idea of killing off the friendship she was building with him so early on did not sit well with her at all. She was also glad he had listened to her and would at least consider treatment.

      “I’ll have to get your number then.” It was so casually said that Hana was already reaching for her bag to write down her number for him when it dawned on her what had happened.

      “Oh, that’s good.” Hana giggled as she straightened up, her cheeks heating up. She was not sure what the protocol for giving her number to a man who was blind or very nearly so. “Do you have a cellphone or should I write it down?”

      He had a cellphone tucked inside the endtable by the bed for personal belongings. An old friend of his had gotten it for him after he had been taken into the hospital. That being said, there was only one other number in it when Hana programmed hers but she tired hard not to pay attention to it out of respect for his privacy.

      “There we go. You can call me anytime.” She saved her number and went to hand the phone back to him.

      “Good.” His hand rose to take the phone before pausing. “Oh, if it’s not too much trouble could you program it to my speed dial?”

      “Oh. Oh yeah.” It made her feel a little giddy to set her number up as one of his speed dials, but she reminded herself that it would be easier for him to use the phone that way. She was not sure how much vision he might have, if any, and she was sure holding down a button would be easier for him than trying to find it in his contacts list. “Right, done. Just dial 3 for Hana!”

      “Thank you.” Jihyun accepted his phone again and carefully set it down on the table he had taken it from. Turning back towards her, he fidgeted with his blankets as he tried to figure out how to say what was on his mind.

      “Jihyun?” Hana leaned over the bed to tap the back of his hand which stilled under her touch. “Got something on your mind, buddy?”

      “I feel like I’ve already asked a lot from you. More than I deserve.” He imagined he could feel her glare and gave her a small smile. “I have one more thing to ask you, but if it’s too much or you’re not comfortable with it I’d understand.”

      “You’ve really gotta learn to appreciate yourself a bit better.” She sighed softly and shook her head, not knowing what to say to someone who felt so undeserving of even simple things. “What’s the favour?”

      “It’d be nice to have a face to go with the voice.” Jihyun began softly. “I can see a little, but not enough to give any details so… if you’d be comfortable enough, could I touch your face?”

      “I, uh, yeah.” She could understand why he had asked and even if it was embarrassing, she could not deny him his simple request. She reached for his hands and guided them to her cheeks before dropping her own to her lap. “Go for it and if you have any questions, just ask.”

      “Alright… Skintone?” His hands cupped her cheeks, feeling the shape of her face before he gently ran his fingers over her cheekbones and along her jawline. His touch felt like electricity dancing over her skin, making her catch her breath and her heart beat faster in her chest.

      “Kind of pale.” Hana had to wonder if he could feel the heat of the blush overtaking her face. “My father’s from Russia.”

      “Eyes?” His fingertips moved towards hers and she closed her eyes to let the feather-soft touch move over her eyelids.

      “Blue.”

      “You take after your father in colouring, don’t you?” He could feel the light nod that was her answer. His fingers moved along the bridge of her nose before ghosting over her lips. “And your hair?”

      “Strawberry blonde.” She answered once his fingers moved away from her mouth to run through her long hair.

      “Ahh, thank you.” Jihyun’s hands slipped free from her hair and returned to his lap as he closed his eyes. His fingers felt warm, filled with energy, but he tried his best to ignore the strange but not unwelcome sensation. He could picture her now that he mapped the gentle curves of her face with his fingers.

      He now had a face to go with the voice and he was not entirely sure how he felt about it. He was not the kind of artist who could create something from nothing, but with her description and the feel of her skin lingering on his fingertips he could imagine what she looked like. It was a pretty picture as he thought it would be and for a second he wished he had the weight of his camera in his hands.

      Rika’s face rose up in his mind and he tightened his hands into fists, feeling the ache of his bones creaking from the pressure. She was the last woman he had photographed, back before her illness had twisted her into someone he hardly recognised. It had been one of her better days when her smile came easily and her hair shone with the light of the sun.

      “I think the medication’s wearing off.” The words were not technically a lie. They probably were wearing off, but it was not the ache of his gunshot wound that made him grow quiet and pensive. “I’m afraid I must send you away, Hana.”

      “Ahh, boo.” Her hand touched his and slowly he loosened his tense fist. “It’s alright. Take care of yourself, Jihyun, and call me anytime you wanna talk.”

      “I will.” Jihyun curled his hand around to capture hers, lifting it to brush a kiss against her knuckles and surprising them both in the process. “Thank you for your company.”


	7. What Kind of Nurse?

      Saeran no longer refused to eat or drink even if he did not always eat three square meals a day. His appetite came and went as the withdrawals set in with a ferocious vengeance. He had his good days and he had his bad days.

      Mostly they were bad, but once in a while he was almost pleasant to be around once Rani got used to the barbs he threw her way and the lack of respect for personal space that he showed.

      On the bad days he tested every last inch of her patience. Threats would grow increasingly graphic, hissed between clenched teeth. Vivid gruesome promises that had Rani wondering how long it would be before what little stability the man had left would snap and she would end up hurt. Yet day after day, she was somehow spared the full brunt of his wrath, but she heard wind of other nurses being injured or frightened out of their skulls during her off hours.

      He refused medication of any sort whether it was a vitamin for the nutrients he was still lacking, pain medication to stave off some of the ravages of the withdrawals, or the drugs to help his weaning go easier. Saeran made it clear he distrusted the hospital and their medications in his rants. It was also made very clear that he was delusional.

      Rani was not sure what the Paradise he sometimes went on about was, but she was positive it was not somewhere she wanted to be. She never asked Saeran to clarify on the subject, but more information came from Jaehee Kang one day.

      The businesswoman, assistant to the executive director of C&R International, sat her down and explained that Saeran had been lured into a religious cult that had recently been eradicated. She stressed the importance of not mentioning anything he said about the cult to anyone since it was still under investigations.

      She also learned that Saeyoung, the redhead who bore a striking resemblance to Saeran, was his twin. He visited his brother often but was always met with threats, cursing, aggression, or tension filled silence. Yet he came day after day. He also kept trying to talk to Rani when she came in, but she continued to brush him off.

      Then the purple haired woman from her dream cornered her by the coffee machine. Even if the woman and Saeyoung did not take up the only exit from the nook in which the coffee machine was situated, the shock of seeing the woman was enough to glue Rani in place.

      Purple hair, mint eyes. Even her smile was the same. There was no doubt about it. This was the very same woman, down to the very energy she exuded.

      Trouble was, Rani was positive she had never seen the woman before that dream.

      “You’re Rani, right?” Despite her American features, the woman’s Korean was fluid as if she had spoken it her entire life. Her mint eyes darted to Saeyoung. “She’s not as intimidating as you said, sweetie. You turning into a chickidy-chicken on me, babe?”

      “Looks can be deceiving,” His cheeks flared red as he rushed to defend himself. “She’s scary. I think even Saeran’s scared of her.”

      “I don’t think ‘scared’ is the right word, but he's your baby brother so we're not going into that.” Her grin widened in response to Saeyoung’s confused look. She turned back to Rani, looking her over for a moment before offering her hand. “Name’s Morrigan, future sister-in-law to your patient.”

      “You’re in my way.” Rani’s eyes darted to the offered hand but she made no move to shake it. Instead her fingers tightened on the flimsy foam cup. “Move. I’ve got a schedule to keep.”

      “You can spare a minute.” Morrigan dropped her hand to her side. “I’ve got some questions and I’ve even got some answers for you.”

      “You’re not going to get out of my way unless I hear you out, will you?” The woman’s smile grew wider once more as she eagerly nodded. Rani sighed in defeat. “Fine. You’ve got a minute, but if you don’t get out of my way then I’m sacrificing my coffee to get you to move.”

      “Ooh, coffee abuse most foul!” Morrigan pouted. “You drive a hard bargain.”

      “And you’re wasting my time.” She lifted her coffee cup in clear warning.

      “Okay, okay. Chill out Nurse Bollywood.” The mint-eyed woman lifted her hands defensively. “First of all, how is Saeran doing?”

      “Shitty.” The answer was blunt and made Saeyoung flinch. “Nutrition is no longer an issue, but the withdrawals are wreaking havoc. Without treatment he could die, but he continues to refuse.”

      “So what’s the next course of action?” Saeyoung asked.

      “Force.” Rani sipped her coffee, the strong brew still a bit scalding. She felt off but the heat of the coffee helped steady her a bit. “On top of refusing treatment, he has become increasingly violent towards anyone who approaches.”

      “That’s not entirely true, is it?” Morrigan half sang the words as she tapped her finger against Rani’s cup. “You don’t get quite the same treatment, do you?”

      “He merely recognises treating me as he does others would be ineffective.” She lifted an eyebrow as she eyed the strange woman. There was something going on in her mind and Rani had a feeling she would hear what it was soon enough. “His cooperation with me, if it could even be called that, is the only reason why the order to strap and hook up an IV has not been given yet.”

      “You can’t let them do that.” Saeyoung’s voice was urgent enough to draw Rani’s eyes to him. “Please.”

      “Without the treatment-”

      “I know how important the treatment is. This is my brother we’re talking about.” Hearing the pain in his voice, Morrigan slipped an arm around Saeyoung’s side and snuggled into him. “Strapping him down like that will only make things worse.”

      “Noted.” She glanced towards the clock on the wall to check the time. “Anything else?”

      “What happens if they don’t do the whole strap and IV thing?” The red-head asked with a frown. His arm wound around his fiance and gave her a gentle squeeze.

      “There is no alternative.” She saw their frowns deepen. “They’ve also started talk of transferring him to a different ward.”

      “The psych ward, right?” Morrigan’s question was met with a nod. “Yeah, that’s no good. None of this is any good.”

      “I realise that.” Rani knew the reasons why the doctor was talking about changing Saeran to another ward. She knew why there was talk about strapping and hooking him up to an IV. It was the only protocol for a patient like him. Yet despite all the facts and sound reasoning she knew it would not work out well. “With his distrust of hospitals, his psychological state will likely only worsen.”

      “You like him, don’t you?” The question was so ridiculous that it threw Rani off guard. “Answer that later. More importantly, in your medical opinion… Will Saeran recover here or would he be better off at home?”

      “I can’t answer that.” There was no way to be certain. “I’m not qualified to say so this is merely personal conjecture. Psychologically he may be better off at home, but medically he’s better off here where medical personnel can attend to him.”

      “Aha.” Morrigan shared a look with Saeyoung before they focused their eyes on Rani again. “Have you seen anything strange? Like numbers where they shouldn’t be? Ones and zeros?”

      “I don’t see how that’s relevant.” Rani frowned. “Your time’s up. Can you move?”

      “Sure, sure…” Morrigan slipped away from Saeyoung to open up a path for Rani to walk through. “Thanks for giving us some time.”

      “Not like I was given any choice.” Rani slipped between them, eyes darting to the clock again. If she hurried she could still make it for her final checkup on Saeran. “Next time corner his doctor and leave me out of it. I don’t care what you have to say.”

      “Nah. You’re stuck with us now.” Morrigan chirped behind her. “We’re gonna be family.”

      “I shudder at the thought.” Rani went to turn down the hallway when a hand dropped onto her shoulder, nails painted black and sparkling with glitter. “What is it now?”

      “Keep the other woman away from Saeran.” There was no lightness in Morrigan’s voice now and the words weighed heavy on Rani. “If you see her again, keep her away.”

      “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She shrugged off the woman’s hand.

      “Tall blonde.” There was only one woman fitting that description she had seen recently, if only in her strange dream. She hesitated, waiting to see if Morrigan had anything else to say. “You saw her in the field too, before you sent us away. He calls her Savior, but she’s anything but. Do whatever it takes to keep her away from him.”

      “But it was his ‘Angel’ who punished him.” Rani remembered Saeran saying so in her dream and glanced back at Morrigan who sighed. “You?”

      “He punishes himself.” She said with a helpless shrug. “Just please. If this is the only thing you take form this conversation. Keep that poisonous bitch away from him.”

      “Noted.” Rani studied the couples faces for a moment longer before turning away. “Good day.”

      Rather than focus on the surreal improbability of Morrigan somehow knowing about the blonde, she fixated on the time. Her schedule had been throw quite a bit since she had first been pulled into Saeran’s room.

      Every day she got filled in on what went on while she was away. Sometimes it was first thing after coming in, but sometimes she had to wait until later in her shift. She had a set schedule on times when she had to check on Saeran, but he sometimes abused the call nurse button to drag her in at random times.

      She was fairly certain he did that to annoy her. He also made a point to steal whatever she used to keep her hair up. After the third hairtie was added to the little collection he wore around his wrist, she started taking her hair down before going to his room.

      Which only threw her schedule off even more since she had to pull it back before she returned to her normal duties as intern.

      “Miss Jeong.” The doctor in charge of Saeran’s case met her in front of the door. “It’s not like you to be late.”

      “The patient’s family cornered me. Literally.” She took a long drink from her now lukewarm coffee before glancing towards the door. “What’s going on?”

      “He’s quiet for now.” That was unusual and Rani’s brows knitted together as she frowned over her cup. “We were forced to sedate and strap.”

      “IV?”

      “Not yet.” The doctor fidgeted beneath her stare and turned towards the door. “Last night was in response to a rash of violence. He split Nurse Hyunmin’s lip.”

      “You’d think they’d know to steer clear of him by now.” Rani drained the last of her coffee and crushed the cup in her hand. “Is he awake?”

      “Yes. Check his vitals and try to work your magic and convince him to start treatment.” The old man sighed heavily. “Poor kid. I can’t imagine what he’s been through. Has he talked about any of it? Maybe talking about it would help.”

      “I’m not a psychiatrist.” She shoved her destroyed cup in his hand. “Now, unless there’s anything else, I really have to get inside. I don’t like being off schedule.”

      “Yeah, no. It’s okay.” He took a step back. “Just be careful in there.”

      “I’ll be fine.” She stared him down for a moment longer before turning and heading inside Saeran’s room.

      The first thing she noticed was the lack of natural light. Someone must have closed the window and pulled the curtains sometime after sedating Saeran. Knowing it put him in a marginally less annoying mood, she crossed over and tugged the curtains open, taking a moment to snap the ribbon around it to keep them open, and cracked the window to let in some fresh air.

      “If it isn’t my android nurse.” Saeran’s voice sounded drowsy, drawing her attention from the window. “Mommy won’t be happy if she catches you here. She’ll be so angry…”

      “Your mother is dead.” Rani remembered seeing that noted on his file. She frowned down at the obviously still drugged male, noting the leather cuffs around his ankles and wrists to trap him to the bed. She reached for him and he flinched. “Saeran, I’m not going to hurt you.”

      “I’ve been bad, haven’t I? I tried to be good, I tried.” The words bled together, mumbled with erratic pitch. “You’ll tell her that, won’t you? You’ll tell her…”

      “Focus.” She held up her hand, one finger raised. His mint eyes slowly focused on the digit. He followed her movements as she directed her hand towards the open window. “Look. I opened the window. The fresh air should help clear your mind a bit.”

      “The sky…”

      “Yeah, the sky.” She lowered her hand once she saw his attention was riveted on the window and gently sat down on the edge of the bed. “Give me a second and I’ll unstrap you.”

      “Please.” It was strange to hear him sound like that. Pleading and weak. Something in her tightened in her chest and she fumbled with the buckle.

      “If I say I’m going to do something, then I’m going to do it.” She freed one of his hands and leaned over him to work on another. Almost immediately his hand went to her hair, hooking her hairtie on his finger and pulling it free.

      That made four he had stolen and she made a mental note to demand Saeyoung and Morrigan reimburse her for it. If they had not distracted her then she would have pocketed it.

      “It’s better loose.” He muttered as he draw the hair tie in close, slapping the black elastic against his lips. His eyes were no longer on the window and instead fixated on her. “Did you know what they did to me?”

      “The doctor told me before I came in here.” Once his other hand was free she slid off the edge of the bed and began to work on the straps on his feet. “They said you hurt Nurse Hyunmin.”

      “Bitch had it coming.” Saeran sounded defencive and Rani glanced up.

      “You’re not stupid, Saeran.” She pointed out dryly. “You knew nothing good would come from being violent. What were you thinking?”

      “She said something…” His expression grew stony and Rani knew she would have to push if she wanted to find out what his issue was. After a moment she shrugged and returned to her task. “I don’t regret it.”

      “I’m sure you don’t.” She freed his feet and stood, offering him her hand. “Stretch your legs but take it slow. You might experience some dizziness.”

      Saeran bit the hairtie and brushed her hand aside. Rani rolled her eyes and watched as shifted to sit up. The moment he stood, far faster than he should have, she was there to catch him before he went down and cracked his head.

      “Told you so.” Rani ignored his glare as she held him steady for a moment longer. Once she was certain he had his feet underneath him she slowly let go. “Take it slow.”

      His glare might have been more effective if Rani were the type capable of being intimidated or if he took out the hairtie that he held between his teeth. She reached forward and flicked the elastic with her fingers. His glare deepened and she laughed.

      “Whoa.” Saeran’s eyes widened and colour rose up in his face.

      “What?” Rani blinked at his reaction and touched his forehead. “Are you feeling alright? Are you hallucinating?”

      “Yes? No.” He swallowed and stepped away from her hand, mint eyes sliding away from her face. “Nothing. Just get the fuck out of my way.”

      “Fine.” She sat down on the bed and motioned him to pass. “Stretch your legs, but don’t get worked up. I still have to check your vitals.”

      Saeran took his time walking around the bed, trying to ignore the woman whose presence seemed to fill the room. Once he was in the bathroom with the door shut he allowed himself to sink down to the floor. The hairtie fell onto his lap and he sucked in a breath.

      Had she laughed before? No, he would have remembered that sound and the way it softened her. He would have certainly remembered the way it racked him and the heat it infused him with.

      His fingers found the loose hairtie and wound it around his forefinger. His heart was racing uncomfortably and his head was swimming.

      He hated everything. This hospital. The doctors and nurses. The orderlies. The straps and that window that would not open completely. He hated knowing that Mint Eye had been busted open and the party broken up.

      Then there was Rani who shrugged off his sharpest barbs and left him defenceless. Rani who infiltrated his dreams with her swirling skirts, henna decorated flesh, and long hair shimmering in the sunlight. Rani who let him see the sky and remained unphased by his bullshit.

      He hated her. He hated the way she was becoming synonymous with the sky and fresh air. He hated the way her hair looked when it was loose and how it felt brushing against his skin when she checked his vitals. He especially hated that he kept stealing her hairties and breathing in the scent of her shampoo when he was alone.

      He hated her in a way he never hated anyone before.

      “Saeran?” Her soft voice was slightly muffled by the bathroom door but it sent a shiver down his spine nonetheless.

      “Fuck off.” His voice was husky and he tried to clear it.

      “Uh huh.” There was a soft tap against the door, as if she had let her forehead rest against it. “Dizzy? Nauseous? I can’t help if you don’t tell me your symptoms.”

      “I’m fine.” He pushed himself up and elbowed the table. “Get off my fucking back.”

      “I will. For now.” She drummed her fingers lightly against the door and he counted the seconds until he was sure his nurse had left the door.

      Symptoms: dizziness, difficulty focusing, tension from laying still for too long, increased heartrate, increased body temperature, arousal.

      Saeran was fairly certain only part of those symptoms were because of the sedation, but he took his time in the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face before finally leaving to face Rani again.

      Rani wasted no time with small talk. She went through the regular routine with the same blank expression she always wore, but Saeran thought he could see little ticks of humanity in her. The faintest upturn of her lips as she checked his pulse. The littlest shiver when his fingers caught her hair.

      “Alright, that’s done.” She stepped away from him to update his charts. “Anything feel off? Since they sedated you it’s pertinent to tell me about anything that’s out of the ordinary.”

      “My heart feels a little fast.” He watched her face as she nodded and compared the numbers to the others on the chart.

      “Yes, it is a bit fast.” She set the chart aside and reached for his wrist to find his pulse. His heart jumped and Rani nodded again. “But it fits with your usual pattern, so I don’t believe that’s anything to worry about just yet.”

      “Are you sure?” Saeran’s frown deepened and he pressed a hand to his chest. “It doesn’t feel right.”

      “It isn’t.” Rani released his wrist and reached for the chart again. “All we can do right now is monitor it. You’re not in the danger zone yet, but as withdrawals worsen so will the heart arrhythmia. If you can keep calm when the other nurses and the doctor attends you, that’ll help. There’s little you can do for the heart arrhythmia present when I attend you.”

      “Fuck you.” Saeran swallowed past the flood of emotions and kicked the chart out of her hands.

      “That was uncalled for.” She sighed and leaned down to pick up the chart. Saeran lurched forward, burying his fingers into her hair and yanking her back.

      Whatever protest she might have uttered was swallowed with a kiss that was hard enough to bruise. His teeth clashed against hers and his tongue pushed between her lips to ravage her mouth. She was light headed by the time he pulled away with a strange expression on his face.

      Rani was not the best judge of expressions even with all the studying she had done over the years. She could read someone’s body language about as well as a blind, fingerless man could read a book. She had no idea what was going on in her own mind, let alone Saeran’s.

      She knew the rules. She knew she would lose her position if anyone had walked in at that moment. Even now, with her hair still wrapped around his fingers and his face hovering over hers. She might not have initiated this, but she had also done nothing to prevent it.

      “I hate you.” Saeran had said that phrase so many times before, jabbing out with his thorns.

      “Evidence would suggest otherwise.” Rani stared up at him, unable to move very far due to the grip he had on her hair. The position was awkward now that she had a moment to catch her breath and she shifted to alleviate the strain it put on her back. “Can I get up now?”

      “No.” His eyes widened when she moved and tightened on her hair. “You’re not fucking getting up.”

      “Fine.” She sighed and reached up to snap the elastic tie on his wrist. “Can I at least get comfortable? Bending over backwards is not exactly a healthy position.”

      “I don’t give a shit if you’re comfortable.” Yet his actions betrayed his words and his grip loosened on her hair, allowing the long locks to slip between his fingers.

      Rani had enough time to stand up and stretch before Saeran’s arms hooked around her waist and tugged her back onto the bed. She ended up in his lap as he curled around her, burying his face in her hair and heaving a sigh. She laid her hand over his and felt him shiver against her.

      Neither of them spoke for a while. He clung to her and she let him, unwilling to break whatever was between them at the moment. It was not until her cellphone chirped to warn her about that he loosened his hold on her. His fingers moved to her hair, sliding through the length with a gentleness that she had not suspected he was capable of.

      “You’re going to be late.” Saeran coughed to clear his throat, hating how off it sounded. It was husky and cracked, but Rani made no mention of it. Not that she would.

      “I’m aware.” She twisted around to face him but his grip tightened and he planted his face within the valley of her breasts. Heat filled her cheeks and she flicked his ear. “That’s inappropriate.”

      “What part of this is?” Saeran’s question might as well have been rhetorical. There was nothing Rani could say. There was no precedent for a situation like this - not in medical history and not in Rani’s personal experience.

      What kind of nurse was she?

      Yet it was Saeran who pushed her away, all while avoiding meeting her eyes. She nearly fell off the bed but caught his arm. He sighed and grabbed her other arm to pull her back up.

      “What kind of android are you?” He scoffed as he waited for her to regain her balance and slide her legs down to the floor. “Falling so easily. You’re so useless.”

      “Sticks and stones, Saeran.” Rani released him, trying to study his expression but he kept his face turned away. “I’ll see you later. Try not to get yourself into anymore trouble while I’m gone.”

      She noticed the dampness of her shirt as she was tying her hair up into a ponytail. Her hands froze as she stared at her reflection and something deep inside of her twisted. Between the kiss, the embrace, and the evidence of his tears she had quite a bit to think about and a lot to sort through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, if there's anything you'd like to see in one of the Glitch chapters, feel free to let me know! They can be non-canon to the story, AU, or whatever. They're glitches, after all. ;)


	8. Glitch - Chibi

      The first thought Hana had was whether or not she could properly capture the imagery of the world around her. The rigidity of the crisp world fraying at the edges, numbers dancing like a wispy spiderweb caught in a breeze to flutter in and out of her vision. The scenery itself was nothing spectacular, but she absolutely loved the effect at the edges.

      The second thought was something like a exclamation point, if it could even be considered a thought. Her mind short circuited as she noticed a spot of colour not far. There was no way she could not recognise the teal hair, but the surreal sight Jihyun made momentarily broke her.

      He reminded Hana of something out of an anime. He was only about a foot tall and a chubby little thing. She had always wondered what a chibi would look like in real life, but now she knew. They were as cute as she had imagined. Cuter even.

      “Aww.” Hana scooped up Jihyun and squeezed him to her chest. “Would it be totally weird if I got like twelve of you? Too damn cute.”

      “I think that’d be twelve too many.” Jihyun’s gentle voice was muffled by the swell of her breasts and she nearly dropped him. “Could you please not drop me?”

      “Oh snap. I thought… I don’t know what I thought.” She stared down at him and could not resist pinching his cheek. “You’re too cute.”

      “Hana…” He squinted, trying to focus on her blurry shape only to sigh and rub his eyes. He could see better than he did in the waking world, but not enough to make out much of anything. “Not even in a dream…”

      “Still can’t see, huh?” Hana pouted at that and hugged him to her chest again. “Well, that sucks. Guess it’s some psychological thing. Isn’t that how dreams usually work?”

      It was weird that the dream revealed itself so early. Generally Hana’s dreams were not so self aware. They were always a bit strange. Whimsical colours, odd events, and strange creatures that did not exist in reality were commonplace while she slept, but it always presented as if they were real and commonplace.

      Oh well. Hana was certainly adaptable.

      “I don’t mean any offence,” Jihyun hesitated before pushing onward. His face shifted to look up at her despite not being able to see. “This is quite nice, but it isn’t very appropriate, is it?”

      “Shut up and let me love you.” She rose her eyebrows at him, waiting for some kind of complaint or argument from the chibi. He opened his tiny mouth and rose one hand as if he were about to say something but she cleared her throat and he sighed in defeat. “Ahh, there we go. Just accept it.”

      “You’re really more forward than I initially thought.” He sounded amused rather than irritated so Hana took it as a compliment.

      “Stay on your toes, Jihyun.” Hana smiled down at him. “Because I’m going to keep surprising you.”

      “I have a feeling you will.” He laid his head back down against her chest and closed his eyes. When was the last time he felt such warmth and quiet comfort?

      After Rika injured his eyes and threw herself into her cult, he closed himself off from everyone. He had the weight of the truth on his shoulders and found it difficult to face any of the members of the RFA after that. There was no way he could bring himself to tell them what had truly happened. They all looked up to Rika, saw the best in her, and he could not break that image.

      Just like them, he wanted to see the best in her.

      The coldness had sunk in before then, giving him frostbite on her worst days, and making him ache during her better days. He loved her, but they both walked on egg shells during those days.

      Even now he loved her, but the warmth had left her touch ages ago.

      Was it ever as warm as this?

      There was so many things he could have done differently. If he had pushed her to continue her therapy instead of letting her quit after a couple of weeks, would things have turned out differently? If he had convinced her to let him talk to the RFA, or at least Jumin, could he have prevented the horror that came?

      Guilt and regret consumed him but Hana squeezed him gently and the warmth helped push it away. It was hard to think about the troubles that ailed him with her warmth surrounding his small body and her scent filling his senses.

      “It won’t hurt to let go for a while, will it?” He asked the woman who cuddled him, already knowing what her answer would be.

      “Of course.” Hana sat down and let him settle into her lap. Her fingers toyed with his hair and he let out a breath as his body relaxed. “No one can continue forever all stressed out and alone. It’s just no good.”

      “Even if I deserve it?”

      “You don’t.” She tapped his nose and he blushed as he batted her finger away. “Sure, you’ve done some bad, but you’ll never start doing good if you’re just gonna wallow in the past. So suck it up, buttercup, and stop letting the icky shit drag you down.”

      “Buttercup?” Jihyun blinked up at her and it took a lot of willpower for her not to squeal at the cute sight he made. “Did you really just call me buttercup?”

      “You better believe it.” Hana’s cheeks flushed pink as she began to worry that she had gone a step too far. She opened her mouth to apologise but closed it again. It was just a dream and she had meant what she said. She was not about to apologise to a figment of her imagination for calling him ‘buttercup’ of all things.

      “I can’t remember the last time someone spoke so candidly with me.” He leaned against her stomach and closed his eyes. “Jumin’s probably my best friend in the world and even he doesn’t speak so openly anymore.”

      “I wonder why.” She hummed softly in thought as she gently stroked his head. “If you think I’m candid you should meet Rani. I love her, but she can’t say anything delicately. She’s been teased for being a robot before due to her lack of empathy.”

      “It’s because I’ve been keeping so much from him, I think.” Jihyun allowed himself to relax under her comforting touch. “Funny. Jumin’s the same way. If I didn’t know him as well as I did I’d think he was a robot.”

      “Imagine our robots meeting.” Hana mused. The thought amused her but she knew it would not happen. Jumin might be real, since she vaguely recalled seeing his name in Jihyun’s phone, but there was no way of knowing that he was like the chibi claimed. Most likely it was her subconscious giving them something in common. “They’d probably get along if they could give each other the time of day.”

      “Maybe they would.” They fell into a silence that felt comfortable. There was no rising of nerves that demanded someone speak. It was just nice. A quiet companionship that the both of them needed without even knowing.

      When the binary came for them Hana knew the dream was ending and hugged Jihyun closer, not wanting the peace to end just yet. Maybe if she offered him enough cuddles in her dreams she would have the bravery and strength to offer him what she felt was much needed comfort.

      A man as beautiful and kind as he was definitely deserved some hugs.

      And without her knowing, Jihyun was starting to believe that.

 

#

 

      “Of all the things, this is what I fantasise about?” Saeran frowned at the offencive creature at the end of the bed. It was Rani, without a doubt, but in miniature. Her beauty had been condensed into about a foot of chubby adorableness. A living plush rather than her Bollywood look or even dressed in nothing but ropes.

      He was really curious about how a star harness would look on her, perhaps in red rope, but instead his nighttime fantasies gave him this.

      Even the setting was a let down. Instead of an open field with the sky stretching endlessly above or even the familiarity of his hospital room, it was a studio apartment that could definitely use some personal touches. It was just as boring and closed up as his hospital room.

      How disappointing.

      Yet he could not keep the frown on his face with the sight of Rani’s little face scowling up at him. She was far too cute for him to be upset with the wayward direction his nighttime fantasies had gone.

      “I don’t even want to know what you have in mind.” She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed heavily. “Why am I so small?”

      “Fuck if I know.” He edged closer to her and poked her cheek. “It’s not my thing, so maybe this is yours. You got a thing for being little?”

      “No.” Her eyes narrowed as he poked her again. “This is most definitely not my dream.”

      If it was even a dream. Between the bruises and meeting Morrigan, Rani was beginning to wonder if the impossible were indeed happening. She looked around at her seemingly massive apartment for any further signs that something was off.

      There. Her apartment did not have the most spectacular view to begin with, but she could see numbers running through the lines of the buildings outside.

      Everything about this defies logic, but when all else is ruled out the impossible becomes the answer. She turned her gaze back to Saeran who was still watching her with his minty gaze. The idea of asking him about the ‘dream’ crossed her mind, but she could not be sure if he was actually there.

      Bruises and Morrigan aside, she had no real evidence to support Saeran sharing these strange dreams with her. His mention of Bollywood and the henna was circumstantial at best and could easily be attributed to racial stereotypes.

      Perhaps she would ask him when she returned to the hospital though she was not sure where to even start with such an extraordinary and improbable matter. Maybe it would be better for her to put it from her mind.

      “How do I know it’s not your dream?” He pointed out with a huff. “If it was mine you’d be full-sized and all trussed up like a Christmas present for me to unwrap.”

      “Oh, you’re still on that?” She sat down on the bed and stared up at him. “You wouldn’t be able to handle me even if I was wearing a bow.”

      “I’d almost take that as a challenge if you weren’t small enough to punt across the apartment.” Saeran adverted his eyes, trying not to let his mind linger on that particular topic. Her response was not at all what he had thought she would say and his mind was eager to supply him with tortuous mental images. “Where the fuck are we?”

      “My place.” The dream world equivalent, but still her apartment.

      “You’re not exactly living large, are you nurse?”

      “I’m a medical student.” Rani pointed out with a tired sigh. “I don’t have the money to invest in a larger place and this one suits my needs just fine.”

      “You don’t have any friends, do you?” There was little evidence that she did have friends or, if she did, he could not imagine them spending time in this small space.

      “I have one.” She waited for him to say something, expecting the same prattle she heard from anyone else who learned about her lack of friends. They pitied her as if the value of her life was lessened by having few friends.

      “That’s one more than I have.” He dropped back onto her bed and stretched out. So used to the twin-sized bed in his hospital room, he allowed himself to appreciate the larger size of Rani’s bed. Even his bed back at Mint Eye were not this large or this comfortable. Then again, he barely got a chance to use it.

      “So Saeyoung and Morrigan aren’t your friends?” Rani expected the grimace when she mentioned his brother but she was not sure what to make of the expression he made upon hearing the purple-haired woman’s name.

      For that matter, she was not sure what to make of her own reaction to his response to Morrigan’s name.

      “You know how I feel about my brother.” Saeran scowled and Rani shrugged. She had seen his visceral and hate filled behaviour towards his twin, but she had also witnessed the cruel expression fall once the red-head was out of the room. “As for my Angel… She’s not my friend, especially now that she’s aligned herself with him.”

      “Why do you call her Angel?” Not that it mattered anyway, but she found herself curious about the strange title he gave to his sister-in-law.

      “Because that’s what she is, even if she’s fallen now.” He bumped her with his foot, a bit harder than could be safely deemed accidental. Her retaliation could barely be felt. “Are you jealous, nurse?”

      “I wouldn’t know.” She met his gaze with an even one of her own. Reading about jealousy was one thing, but she could not fully comprehend the emotions described. “Emotions aren’t something I’m familiar with.”

      “Because you’re an android.” Saeran lazily lifted a hand towards her and crooked his finger, wordlessly asking her forward.

      “I’m not an android.” She eyed his finger suspiciously but finally decided it was the lesser of two evils. She crossed the bed and plopped down near him. “I have alexithymia.”

      “And that is?” He rolled over onto his side to face her.

      “People think I’m some android because I have zero empathy for anyone since I can’t… recognise emotions.” She lifted her shoulders in a shrug as she tried to explain it as simply as she could for him. “I don’t show emotion well and I understand them even less.”

      “So you could be jealous?” The question was asked with a wide grin.

      “Perhaps.” Rani wondered if he was trying to get a rise out of her or if he truly wanted to know. Did he want her to be jealous? Why was she even entertaining that train of thought? “What does it matter?”

      “I wonder…” Saeran’s hand moved to catch a lock of her hair and twirl it around his finger. Despite the fact that he was looking at the hair he absentmindedly toyed with, his mint eyes seemed unfocused. He had no answer for her question or, at least, none he was willing to speak out loud even in a dream scape.

      He wanted her to be jealous. The idea fuelled the spark within him that threatened to flare into a blaze that could easily consume him. A bonfire that had rose up with the snotty bitch Hyunmin had opened her mouth and said Rani’s name. It was not the first time someone had mentioned her, but something about the woman talking about Rani sleeping with the hospital admin to get hired on pissed him off to no end.

      He was not sure why his hatred towards her was different but he felt a certain measure of possessiveness over her.

      “This is just a dream, right?” Even if her scent and the silk of her hair felt real, he had to believe it was only a dream. “So nothing fucking matters?”

      “That’s one way to look at it.” After a moment she stood and closed the distance between them. It only took her a matter of a few seconds to curl up against his side. Surprised, Saeran could do little more but stare down at her until she gave a little huff and yanked on his sleeve.

      “Rani?” She yanked on his arm again and he let it drop over her. Finally getting what she wanted from him, she settled down more comfortably and snuggled into his chest. “What are you doing?”

      “Don’t ask me that. I can’t answer it.” She squeezed her eyes shut. Saeran swallowed and slowly pulled her closer. He curled around her and enveloped her in his warmth. “I just… Maybe it does matter. Even if it’s a dream.”

      “What if it’s not?” Saeran sighed at the soft comfort of the plush-sized woman. “What if it’s real to one of us? Or both of us?”

      “Shut up.” The words came out harsher than Saeran had ever heard Rani speak. Realising the sharpness she took a deep breath and let it go. She gave his chest a gentle pat. “Just shut up. Your psychological state is just as bad as your physical state. Stop questioning this. Stop stressing. If it’s real to you, then let yourself relax. For once, stop questioning everything.”

      “You telling me that or are you telling yourself that?” She gave a little questioning hum in reply and he found himself smiling. Real or not, confusing as it all may be, it felt nice to just innocently hold onto her like this. He could not remember ever feeling quite like this before.

      There was no desperate need for warmth in a drafty room. There was no fear of robes that bit into flesh or belts that left welts that ached or bled. There was no rumbling stomachs that pushed spears of pain into their torsos.

      It was innocent and sweet, something that rocked Saeran like an earthquake, and he found himself wishing it was real.

      “Hey… If it’s real…” Saeran let out a breath of air and felt Rani’s hair move against his lips. “We can prove it. Like… Wear your hair differently or something small like that. If it’s not, well, then it doesn’t matter. The other won’t know.”

      “Fine.” Rani surprised herself a little when she agreed so easily, but what harm could it do? “I’ll braid my hair. What will you do?”

      “Be nice?” He earned a laugh from the chibi that warmed him further. “I don’t have that many options.”

      “Nah, just be nice.” There was one thing he could do that would convince her, without a doubt, that these impossible dreams were real. “Be nice to your brother.”

      “I hate you.” The expected response made her laugh again and he decided he could forgive her for asking the impossible from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another glitch chapter sometime in the future featuring a reverse! Hana and Saeran will be the chibis next time.
> 
> Why? Because cuddles, that's why.


	9. Desserts and Scent

      Jumin did not stick around for long after V’s release from the hospital. Not only was the air dusty from the apartment being disused for so long, but the tension was so palpable that it made it difficult to breath. He ran through the schedule for Jihyun’s followup appointments to ensure that his gunshot wound was healing properly.

      When Assistant Kang called to remind Jumin of a meeting Jihyun was positive he heard the quietest sigh of relief of having an excuse to leave the apartment.

      All the unspoken words and that little sigh made the chasm between him and his childhood friend seem monstrous.

      “I’m sorry.” He said the words to the empty apartment but wished he could say the words to his friend. He wish he knew what he could say to ease the damage that he had done.

      Jihyun made his way around his apartment, re-familiarising himself with the quiet space. So much of the time had been spent travelling and taking pictures while he still had some eyesight left. The rest of the time was spent keeping tabs on Mint Eye and infiltrating their numbers to try to keep Rika’s cultists away from the RFA.

      After all that time and everything he had done, he had failed to protect the RFA, and all he had left was an apartment layered with dust and no one to talk to.

      No. He had someone willing to talk with him. Someone who did not care what sins he had committed. The smallest smile graced his face as he moved back towards the living room where his mobile phone was sitting on the charger. He fumbled a bit to unplug it, but it only took him a second to rub his thumb over the buttons to the number 3.

      Jihyun did not have to wait long for her to answer.

      “’Lo.” Hana’s familiar voice was slow and a bit raspy from sleep.

      “I woke you up, didn’t I?” He frowned as he sunk down onto his couch. “Should I call back another time?”

      “Nah, it’s all good.” Hana hummed softly as she nestled deeper into her warm blankets. “How’s it going?”

      “It’s going alright, I guess.” Jihyun shifted the phone to his other ear. “I was released from the hospital.”

      “Oh, congrats!” She sounded more awake now and a bit excited. “Do you need a ride? I could come pick you up.”

      “Jumin drove me home.” There was a mixture of feelings running through him at the fact that Hana would have driven him home if he had called her. It was nice that Jumin had done it, but the awkwardness between them was something he could have gone without. “He had a meeting so he’s gone now.”

      “Work doesn’t wait for anyone.” Hana sighed at that, her voice full of sympathy. “Everything settled there? You got enough to eat? Oh, do you want some company? I’m free today.”

      “Oh, you don’t have to go through any trouble for me,” He remembered the insistent kindness she showered him with in his dream. Even in the waking world she was too sweet. “I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

      “I wouldn’t offer if it was a bother.” She pointed out in a tone that made him wonder if she were smiling. “Seriously. You want some company, just say so. I’ll even pick up lunch on my way over.”

      “Are you sure?” It would be handy for her to pick up lunch. He was not sure what he had in stock in his apartment or if Jumin had taken the liberty of tending to his kitchen. Not that it would do much good. Jihyun had yet to learn braille and his eyesight had waned enough to make reading impossible. “I’ll pay you back.”

      “Nah.” She clicked her tongue against her teeth and he could hear something fall in the background as she rolled out of bed to get ready. “I get lunch this time and you can get dinner, okay? We’ll be even Steven.”

      “I suppose that’s okay.” Warmed by the idea that she was willing to stick around long enough to eat dinner with him, he felt some of his melancholy fade.

      They talked while she got dressed, pausing only long enough for Hana to switch her phone to speaker when she needed her hands free to change tops. She got his address as soon as she finished dressing, programming it into her phone so she could switch GPS on later to guide her there and noted that it would not take her long to pick lunch up and get there.They talked about lunch options and ended up agreeing on some toasted subs from a deli that Hana swore was delicious. As they talked over toppings, he heard the car start up.

      The sound of the car made him realise that she was really on her way. Suddenly the smell of dust seemed overwhelmingly strong. Rather than dust, which would only send the dust into the air and likely create a bigger mess, he moved through the apartment to open the windows as quietly as possible to let some fresh air in.

      “Ahh, I’m getting in line now.” The conversation was finally drawing to a close now that she had arrived at the restaurant. Her voice was lower than before, politely keeping her volume down to not bother the other patrons. “I’ll call you when I get to your apartment, alright?”

      “Okay.” He settled back down onto the couch to await her arrival. “Be careful on the roads.”

      “Will do, buttercup.” She chirped in reply before saying her goodbyes and ending the phone call so she could order their lunch.

      “Buttercup, huh?” There was no way he could not think about the strange dream he had. It was only a coincidence that she called him that in his dream and over the phone, but it gave him a nervous little tingle.

      Jihyun forcibly brushed aside the sensation and what it meant, telling himself he was just nervous over his new friend seeing his apartment in this disused state. It could even be a spot of hunger since it was nearly lunch time and he had only eaten part of his breakfast before leaving the hospital.

      He made excuses rather than admit the truth to himself.

      He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone rang again. He fumbled with the device, holding it close to his face to see the screen before answering it.

      “Just pulled up!” Hana sounded excited and he could hear her car engine go quiet, the rustling of a paper bag, and the thump of her car door shutting. “Buzz me in!”

      “Yeah, yeah. Give me a second.” Jihyun hopped to his feet and made his way across his living room. It took him a second to find the button by the door that would open up the lobby door but found it.

      “Ahh, there we go. Give me a second…” Hana must have shuffled the bag of food to push the door open because he heard the rustling of it again. “I’m in. I’ll be up soon. Oh, and I picked up dessert for us. They had a special and I just couldn’t resist. It sounds straight up delicious.”

      “You’re hyping it up an awful lot.” Jihyun pointed out with a laugh at his own. “I’m getting some high expectations for this infamous dessert.”

      “Uh oh.” Hana let out a dramatic sigh. “Whatever shall I do if it doesn’t live up to your expectations?”

      “I’ll just have to treat you to a better dessert.” His heart did a little flip when he heard her giggle in reply to his words. “Show you how a good dessert is done.”

      “Oh, you are on.” He heard the echo of her knock on the door and through the phone. He unlocked the door and swung it open. “Hello handsome!”

      “Hello beautiful.” He lowered his phone and thumbed the end call button as he did. “Come in and please don’t mind the mess. I haven’t been home in a while.”

      “This is a mess?” Hana bumped the door shut behind her as she entered the apartment. It was big, airy, and tastefully decorated in teals and light greys. There was not a single pillow out of place or stray item that belonged elsewhere. “It could use a dusting, but holy cow, can I move in? Your apartment’s gorgeous.”

      “A pretty young woman like you doesn’t need a blind old man cramping her style and keeping her up late at night with his snoring.”

      “You can’t be that bad.” She eyed him, wondering if he really did snore. Somehow she doubted that. If he did, it was likely the soft kind of snoring that was more endearing than annoying. “You hungry now or should I stash this in the fridge for later?”

      “I could eat.” Using his memory of the layout of his apartment on top of his faint sight, her sweet scent, and the soft sounds she made he moved to her side. His hand found her shoulder. “I’ve got a little breakfast nook we can eat in. I think you’ll like it.”

      Jihyun was right. A round table sat in a pool of sunlight, painted with a swirling mix of blue that shimmered in the light with subtle glitter. Plushly cushioned chairs were placed at either side of the small table. It was a simple little setup, but it had a cheerful and cosy vibe that Hana definitely appreciated.

      Conversation flowed over over their sandwiches and desserts. They talked about the flavours of the food before moving on to discussing what had been going on since they spoke last. The topic eventually moved to art and she thought she would end up boring him, but he kept asking questions and making comments until she found herself telling him everything about her classes and the projects she was working on.

      They finished their lunch and Hana excused herself to the restroom. On the way there she poked her head in a few other rooms, finding what appeared to be his dark room, the laundry room, and the bedroom before she made it to the bathroom. She swallowed back the rise of curiosity and closed the doors as she resisted the urge to poke around.

      Perhaps another time she would be able to explore to her heart’s content, with his permission. For the time being she thought it would be best to try not to overstay her welcome.

      Until she noticed the lack of shampoo and conditioner in his bathroom. It was really none of her business, but it was not something she could ignore.

      “Hey, did you know you had no shampoo or conditioner in there?” The words tumbled from Hana’s mouth as soon as she found Jihyun in the kitchen where he was tossing away the trash from their lunch.

      “Really?” He dropped the rest of the trash into the bin before turning to her with a sheepish little smile. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve travelled a lot the past year. I’ll have to pick some more up soon.”

      “But what about tonight?” Hana planted her hands on her hips. “You can’t shower without shower supplies. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t escort you right down to the store so you can get what you need.”

      “I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” Even without his eyesight he knew Hana was frowning at him so he tried a different tact. “I didn’t ask you here to be my taxi. I just wanted your company.”

      “Ahh, well…” The sincerity in his voice expressing a desire for her company took the wind right out of her sails. Her hands slipped down from her side and she sighed. “I know that, I do. It’s just… I’m here, you need something, and I don’t mind helping. Really, I know you’re not trying to take advantage of me.”

      “As my friend Hyun likes to say, you really should be wary of men.” The thought of Hana’s kindness being taken advantage of by any man did not sit well with Jihyun at all. “Sweet women like you can turn a man into a beast.”

      “Love that you’re concerned and all, but you really don’t need to worry too much about me.” Hana reached forward to take his hand and give it a comforting squeeze. She was thankful he could not see the smile that etched across her face or the blush warming her cheeks. “I’m not as fragile as I seem and I don’t offer to help just anyone.”

      “That’s good.” It was a relief to hear her say so and made him a little giddy at the thought that he was one of the few she showed such open kindness and trust towards. “As long as that’s the case, I’ll take you up on your offer as long as it’s not too much trouble.”

 

#

 

      It felt like a new world to shop with Hana. She tucked her hand in the crook of his arm and kept up a line of chatter that eased any nervousness he might have felt. It was a sharp contrast to the trips he had made to the store with Rika which were stressful moments marked by forced smile and nails digging into his flesh when they went on for too long.

      Hana had seemingly endless patience. She read him any labels he could not see, which happened to be most of them, and helped him find what he needed. In the end he asked her for a recommendation, not really knowing what he wanted, and she offered up her favourites. The faint, sweet scent that followed her around wafted in the air as she offered them up and he agreed they would work.

      She was a whirlwind and he nearly had a cart full of household supplies and foodstuff before he even realised an hour had passed. Hana helped him find his card to pay for the groceries with such a casual manner that he never felt as if he were troubling her with his inability to see.

      Somehow she made something usually tedious, especially with his growing blindness, something closer to fun.

      Dinner was no exception. They dropped off the groceries and put away the food items that needed to be put in the freezer or refrigerator before heading back out to eat at a restaurant rather than order out. The place was somewhat high dollar, much to Hana’s chagrin, but Jihyun assured her that it would be okay. It was just his way of thanking her for her company and assistance.

      It was not until they were laughing over dessert, which they agreed was just as good as the one she had gotten for lunch, that it dawned on Jihyun that it almost felt like a date. The sensation remained strong throughout the rest of the evening and was only heightened by the fact that she kissed his cheek before they parted.

      It was enough to shake him to his very core.

      He tried not to think about her as he closed the windows and locked up his apartment. He pushed her from his thoughts and stepped into the shower to let the hot water wash away the dirt of the day.

      Jihyun was doing just fine not thinking about anything in particular until the sweet scent of the shampoo Hana had helped him pick out filled the steamy shower. The same sweet scent she wore. He could almost hear her voice in the steady pitter-patter of the water. He could almost see her when he closed his eyes.

      He let his forehead fall against the cold tile of the shower wall and grit his teeth against the arousal that flooded him. His cock swelled and hung heavy between his legs. He dug his nails into his palm and tried to focus on the little prickle of pain instead of the teasing temptation of pleasure the warm water running along the length of his erection gave him.

      In the end he planted one hand against the slick wall of the shower to steady himself as he closed the other in a fist around the base of the erection. He felt like the scum of the earth with Hana’s scent tickling his senses as he groaned into the whisper of pleasure. He wanted to buck into his grip, but he needed to punish himself for objectifying Hana in this manner. He pressed against the sensitive vein running along the length of his cock and thumbed the dripping head as she began to stroke himself in achingly slowly passes.

      He could not help but imagine the softness of Hana’s small hand around him. The idea alone was enough to leak precum and make him groan with need, the lewd sound echoing in the spacious bathroom.

      It was impossible not to fantasise that she was there with him, working his cock with slow strokes that sent his heart racing and quickened his breathing. With every passing stroke his hesitation and shame faltered under the assault of pleasure, spurring him to roll his hips into his fist and quicken his pace.

      Hana’s name left his lips in a breathless groan and colour flushed his cheeks red. He could not remember the last time he gave in to his body’s needs like this, but the desperate need for release grew stronger with every stroke and every brush of his thumb over the head of his cock.

      Stars burst in his black vision his pulse jumped and he found his release. He kept pumping his cock as it twitched and spilled his seed, only to have the waters of the shower wash it away. By the time he was done he was spent and shuddering from the aftermath.

      No guilt rose up, but Jihyun quickly finished his shower. As he dressed and prepared himself for bed he wondered how he would face Hana next time she visited. Would she see it on his face and know that he had masturbated to the thought and scent of her? What would she say? Would she be disgusted?

      He tried to tell himself that he would not do it again, but it felt like a lie. He was a grown man whose slumbering hormones had awakened with a crush on the kind woman who he had not known for long. Even as he told himself he would not stroke himself to thoughts of Hana again, he had a feeling that he would.

      Somehow that did not make him feel as bad as he thought it should.


	10. Chickens, Bows, and Idiots

      “Baehee!” Morrigan chirped in delight as soon as she saw the well-dressed businesswoman approaching. Knowing his fiance well, Saeyoung snagged her collar in time to save Jaehee from being glomped by the over exuberant woman. “Second love of my life! Have you come to check on my future brother-in-law?”

      “Morrigan, it’s good to see you too.” Jaehee sighed and and offered Saeyoung a grateful look. “I came from speaking with the doctor about Saeran. How have you been feeling?”

      “Fine, fine.” She grinned and patted her stomach. “And the spawns are good too.”

      “That’s, uh, good to hear.” Jaehee cleared her thought. Her eyes slid past them to spot the familiar dark-skinned nurse. “Ahh, Miss Jeong. Are you done speaking with the doctor?”

      “Miss Kang.” Rani greeted the businesswoman and nodded to the others who were gathered outside of Saeran’s door. She was not surprised Jaehee, Saeyoung, or Morrigan, but there were two unfamiliar faces. That was enough to keep her silent on what had been discussed.

      “Maria Chaikin,” The dark skinned stranger stepped forward and offered her hand to Rani. “My sister’s told me about you, Nurse Jeong.”

      “Has she?” Faces flitted through Rani’s memory but none with a resemblance to Maria came to mind. “Who is your sister?”

      “I am! Can’t you see the resemblance?” Morrigan threw her arms around her sister and pressed their cheeks together. Even with their faces so close Rani could see no sign that the mint-eyed woman was related to Maria. “Hey, you braided your hair! It looks good!”

      “Right…” Rani’s hand went to the long braid draped over her shoulder for a second before dropping to her side. Sensing she would not shake her hand, Maria dropped her own and edged closer to the tall, silver-haired male who draped an arm around her waist. “And he is?”

      “My boyfriend, Hyun.” Maria’s cheeks darkened with a blush and she ducked her head as Hyun beamed and planted a loud kiss against her cheek.

      “Ah.” With that cleared up she turned back to Jaehee and crossed her arms over her chest. “Is there something you need to discuss with me, Miss Kang?”

      “Not at the present.” Jaehee offered her a small smile. “I just happened by and won’t keep you.”

      “Appreciated.” Rani glanced towards the rest of the group. “Are you going to visit with Saeran?”

      “Yeah.” Saeyoung rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. “I know he doesn’t really want to see me, but… Well, I have to keep trying.”

      “Your persistence will eventually lead to success or abject failure.” Rani offered with a shrug. “I can’t promise he’ll be open to having this many guests.”

      “We’re not going to stay long.” Maria glanced nervously at the door. “I haven’t seen Saeran since the start of everything and Morri insisted I say hello. Thought it’d do him some good.”

      “Very well.” She slipped through the crowd to put her hand on the door. “Just don’t get in my way.”

      Hesitation made Rani freeze. The weight of her braid seemed to grow exponentially with every breath she took. The strange dream, not-dream came to mind. Her fingers found the braid that hung heavy over her chest and caught the tie holding her hair in the plait.

      She had agreed to braid her hair, a style she usually avoided when going into work due to the time it took to do up and generally resulted in a headache by the end of the day. He had also agreed to act out of character and to be nice to his brother.

      If the dream were real.

      “Miss Jeong?” Maria’s voice pulled Rani from her thoughts. “Are you okay?”

      “I’m fine.” The hairtie holding the plait closed came lose in her hand. She tugged the second hairtie free and ran her fingers through her hair until the braid came apart.

      “Why’d you go and do that?” Morrigan leaned in close, her fingers brushing against the ebony length turned wavy from being tightly bound for half the day.

      “That’s none of your business.” Rani slipped the hairties onto her wrist, straightened her spine, and opened the door.

      She was chickening out and she knew it. There was no other way to colour taking down her hair at the last moment. She could tell herself she undid the braid to avoid the headache that was already starting to build. She could pretend that she felt it pointless, but even that fell apart.

      She was a chicken.

      “Fuck off.” Saeran growled as soon as she opened the door.

      “Nice to see you too.” Rani flicked the lightswitch and ducked the pillow that was flung her way. “Are you sensitive to light or just being extra dickish today?”

      “Are you a bitch or am I just that unlucky?” His mint eyes darted past her to the couples that filed in behind her. Seeing his brother was enough to make his expression sour further. “What’s with this crowd?”

      “Hey grumpy-gills.” Morrigan looped her arm through her sisters and tugged her towards the bed, undeterred by Saeran’s glare. “You feeling alright today?”

      “No.” His eyes darted between their faces before dropping away. “Should I be worried to see both Angels here?”

      “Nah.” Morrigan crossed Rani’s path and dropped into a seat near Saeran’s bed. “We’re just checking in on you. You’re family, Saeran. Get used to it.”

      “Your arm.” Rani held her hand out and her patient sighed before giving her the arm so she could check his blood pressure. His eyes moved over her before his freehand caught her hair. “Hold still.”

      “Curly today,” He wound a lock of hair around his finger, his brow furrowed in thought. “Is it a special occasion? Does the android have a date?”

      “No.” She swallowed and tried to focus on the task at hand, moving through the motions of taking his vitals. His numbers were not looking too good and she wondered how he was able to function without medicinal help. “Your numbers are looking like shit, Saeran. You can’t go much longer without proper treatment.”

      “Yeah, well you can go fuck yourself with that shit.” He groused as he withdrew from her. “I’m not letting anyone jab me with needles.”

      “Saeran…” Saeyoung edged closer to the bed and his twin stiffened with every step. “I know you don’t trust them, but they’re only trying to help you.”

      “I…” Saeran’s mint eyes darted between Rani and his twin. Her hands felt cold as she pressed and felt for his pulse. Her hair, curly and free, swallowed his attention for a moment before black wound around her wrist caught his eye. Hairties.

      “Saeran?” It was his nurse that spoke, her face close to his. “Should I get them to leave?”

      “I don’t…” He swallowed and twisted his hand to catch her wrist. “Rani, did you…”

      He could not bring himself to ask if she had braided her hair. The evidence was clear. The waves in her hair caught the light and he could feel the ties wrapped around her wrist. He could not help but wonder why she would undo the braid. Did she doubt the dream that much?

      The ball was in his court now and he fumbled with his thoughts.

      ‘ _Be nice to your brother._ ’ That was what she had asked him to do in the dream to show it was real. If he did that, would she play it off as if she had no idea why he was acting that way? Would she admit to braiding her hair? Did he even want her to?

      “Nah. If you kick them out I’ll just hear it from whiny ass later.” Saeran finally answered her and averted his gaze. It was not nice, but it was not as hateful as his usual fare. “Just don’t let them prattle on for too long.”

      “Fair enough.” Rani lifted her eyes to his. She fished a penlight out of her pocket and flashed it in his eyes. “High temperature, weak but rapid heartrate, dilation not standard. They’re not going to give you a choice if you keep declining.”

      “What do you mean?” Maria piped up behind them and Rani stiffened. She had forgotten the others were in the room.

      “They’ll force him.” Morrigan met Saeyoung’s worried gaze before shifting in the chair to her sister. “It’ll be bad. Real bad.”

      “Like your nightmares bad?” The dark-skinned sister swallowed. “Like the chair?”

      “Pretty much.”

      “As useful and informative as this conversation is,” Rani turned her gaze to the pair and they grew quiet underneath the steel of her gaze. “You are not helping matters. If you want to prattle on about nightmares then you know where the door is.”

      “Whatcha gonna do if we don’t?” Morrigan leaned forward in her chair to catch Rani’s eyes. “Huh? Whatcha gonna do, nursey.”

      “Ban you all from visiting.” She saw the way Saeran shifted out of the corner of her eye and the way Saeyoung had cringed.

      “You wouldn’t!” Although it was her first visit, Maria knew how important being able to see Saeran was to Saeyoung and Morrigan both. “But we’re family! Or, well, some of us are.”

      “I wouldn’t?” Rani turned her head slowly to level a deadpan stare at Maria. “You shouldn’t make presumptions about me.”

      “She would.” There was barely contained laughter in Saeran’s voice when he finally spoke up. “My android nurse here doesn’t give a shit that you’re family. She’ll kick you all out.”

      “I’m not an android.” Rani countered for perhaps the millionth time in her lifetime.

      “I know. Alexithymia or whatever you called it.” His pale hand cut through the air dismissively but Rani felt ice coat her. She had never mentioned her disorder outside of the dream. “But I’m still going to call you my android. Whatcha gonna do about it?”

      Saeran echoed Morrigan’s challenge and Rani could feel the eyes of the crowd on her. Yet her attention was riveted on the male who looked at her with a smirk and something unreadable in his surreal eyes. Her mind raced with the implications of his knowledge of her disorder, but she could not ask outright about the bizarre dream.

      “Challenging me now?” Rani leaned forward, her hair falling forward to shield her face. Saeran’s eyes dipped and he swallowed at her sudden nearness. “I can just never give you what you want for Christmas.”

      “I-I didn’t even realise that was on the table.” His face flushed and he licked his lips.

      “With a bow.” Rani felt a flush of power at the reaction she saw from Saeran. The quiet intake of breath, the colour in his cheeks, and the way he seemed to have trouble meeting her eyes suddenly. “I said you wouldn’t be able to handle it, not that it was out of the question.”

      Saeran had no words when she pulled away to update his chart with the vitals she had taken earlier. She could feel his eyes on her, but focused on the facts and solidity of the numbers to help ground herself. With the flush of power came the rush of something else that warmed her body from head to toe. She was not used to such an unsettling flood and took a much needed moment to catch her breath.

      “Whoa nelly.” Morrigan raised her hands and clapped. “Never thought I’d see anyone throw Saeran off guard like that. I think you broke him, Rani! What’d you say to him because I so gotta learn that trick!”

      “She did not!” Saeran was quick to protest. “And no! You’re not learning jackshit!”

      “Come on.” The purple-haired young woman gave them what was likely her best pout. “Pretty please with sugar on top.”

      “Fuck off.” Saeran drew in tighter and crossed his arms over his chest in a nearly defencive manner. “It won’t work coming from you anyways.”

      “Patient-nurse confidentiality.” Rani capped her pen and shoved it into her pocket before turning and cocking an eyebrow at Saeran. “Oh, it won’t? That’s an interesting tidbit.”

      “Shut up, android.”

      “Bow.” Her response made the colour rise once more to his already pinked cheeks. He stumbled over his words and ended up grumbling out some thread of physical harm studded with curse words.

      “You two have a colourful relationship.” Saeyoung rubbed his shoulder as he watched the nurse and his twin interact. He had realised Rani could handle his brother’s thorns fairly well, but was surprised to see the way things had progressed.

      “Shut the fuck up.” Saeran snapped at his brother, but the red-head only flinched a little at the growl. “Why are you still here?”

      “Haven’t I told you a million times?” Saeyoung sighed. “You’re my brother and I care about you. I-”

      “Rani, can you throw him out?” Saeran reached for the nurse, catching the elastic around her wrist and snapping it. “He’s giving me a headache.”

      “Exposure to your twin can only exasperate a pre-existing condition.” She commented dryly as she shook her head. “The headache is due to withdrawals, not to his presence however frustrating it may be for you.”

      “Bitch.” He snapped the elastic again. “I hate you.”

      “Sure you do.” Rani’s laugh drew blood back into Saeran’s cheeks and made him shift uncomfortably.

      To Saeran’s dismay she did not stick around as long as she usually did. Without preamble she finished up her duties and stood, claiming that she was giving him the space and privacy to spend some quality time with his family. He barked insults at her as she headed to the door, but the smile she shot him burned him from the inside out and dried the flurry of words off his tongue.

      With Rani out of the room he turned the full force of his attention on Maria, Morrigan, Saeyoung, and Hyun. The four struggled for words beneath the sharp words he assaulted them with. Thorn after thorn, hateful words, and the like.

      Maria and Hyun were the first to leave, but not until after the dark Angel attacked him in return for his barbs. She tore him down for treating their kindness with such hatred and reminded him how lucky he was to have family that cared for him despite the fact that he was an asshole. Hyun had nothing to say to him. He just slipped his arm around Maria’s waist and gave her a comforting hug while sending Saeran a warning glare.

      “We’re only trying to help.” Morrigan sighed heavily as she got out of the chair. She reached for Saeyoung who curled around her in a hug that made Saeran feel ill. “You’re a shithead, Saeran, but you’re not going to scare us off. We’re all in this together and the sooner you get that through your head the better.”

      They left shortly afterwards with promises to visit again and heavy silence descended over him in their wake. His head was pounding and he felt like complete rubbish. Every beat of his heart sent waves of nausea and pain through his body. He curled up in a ball and squeezed his eyes shut as if he could shut out the agony.

      The only thing he could do was breath through it and wait for the aches and twisting in his stomach to pass. He dealt with it before in Mint Eye when he want too long without the waters of paradise, but it was getting worse in this hospital. Day after day, night after night, it became stronger and took longer for the attacks to fade.

      With shaking fingers he found the button against the wall. It took him a few tries to press it down and he heard a soft chime to let him know it was working. At least, he assumed it was working since Saeran had never bothered with the button before. As soon as the doctor had informed him that it alerted the nurses station, he had decided he never would. The last thing he had wanted was some nurse poking her nose into his business.

      “Fuck.” Saeran recoiled when he realised what he had done. There was no taking it back, but he could not bring himself to regret pressing the call button when Rani slipped inside his room.

      “Saeran?” She hurried to his bedside and brushed hair slick with sweat from his forehead. There was a frown on her typically passive face and Saeran could almost imagine she cared about his wellbeing.

      “I hate you.” Yet he wrapped his shaking arms around her and buried his face into her chest to breath in her scent. Only then did the tightness in his own chest loosen. “I swear I’ll kill all of you.”

      “No, you won’t.” Her fingers went to his hair to smooth the mess, noting that some of the pink tips were fading. Surprisingly enough she only saw a few spots where his roots were coming in red. “Are you okay?”

      “Are you an idiot?” He snapped in response to her question. He dug his fingers into her side, hard enough to hurt, and she tugged on his hair in retaliation. His reaction to it was a primitive rush of arousal that did wonders to take his mind off of how crappy he was feeling. “Fuck you.”

      “Mmm?” Rani noticed his tone was different. His voice was deeper than usual. Experimentally she gave his hair a second tug and was rewarded with the slightest groan from the man. He lifted his face from her breasts and her breath caught in throat at the molten heat in his eyes. “That’s… unexpected.”

      “Are you an idiot?” Saeran asked again as his hands slid up her back to grip her hair. Her scalp tingled but he did nothing to cause her any pain.

      “Hardly.” She caught them both off guard when she dropped her head to brush her lips against his. The kiss only lasted for a moment before she slid out of his hold, her phone chiming with another time alert. She left him without another word, aching with desire and lost in confusion at what had just happened.

      Oh well. Saeran found himself smiling, looking forward to the idea of perhaps getting some resolution in their shared dreams.

      With a bow.


	11. Eliminate the Impossible

      “I see you’ve been busy lately.” Rani stepped over a box of paints as she made her way through Hana’s workroom. When Hana had threw herself into her art as a child, her parents had rebuilt the garage into an art studio. Hana probably spent more time in the room than her own bedroom when she was home. “Been inspired?”

      “Kind of.” Hana threw a cloth over the unfinished sketch she had been laying out on a canvas before rushing to gather up other evidence of her current project. Her cheeks flushed red. “I’ve been trying to do Jihyun’s portrait.”

      “Oh, that photographer you’ve befriended.” The medical student sat down on her friend’s cot and clasped her hands in her lap. She picked at her nails as she tried not to focus on the clutter in effort to ignore the desire to help Hana tidy up.

      Hana was fairly particular about how her artroom was kept and even well-meant tidying on Rani’s part would be met with irritation.

      “Yeah.” She laid the sketchbooks and loose papers on the table next to her easel before turning to Rani. “You’d like his apartment, at least. Needed a good dusting but it was gorgeous and clean!”

      “I like clean.” Rani sent a pointed look towards the coloured pencils and markers scattered in front of one of the shelves lining the wall meant to house the supplies. “Already saw his place. Are you two lovers?”

      “No!” Colour rose up in the strawberry blonde’s cheeks and she chucked an eraser at her friend.

      “Ahh.” Rani fumbled to catch the eraser and tossed it back. “Your reaction is interesting. Either you’re disturbed by the idea or you desire it. Which one is it?”

      “Are you fucking with me?” She huffed as she tossed the eraser into one of the shelves at random. “I seriously can’t tell.”

      “I honestly can’t tell.” She answered patiently. “Your reaction was strong enough to make it clear there’s something going on, but I can’t tell what it is.”

      “And this is why you’ll never get a date.” Hana teased with a grin.

      “Yeah.” Rani lifted her shoulders in a shrug. Her friend could poke fun at her lack of luck in the dating field as much as she wanted to. Between school and the hospital she had no time for dating nor any interest in it. “That’s fine. I don’t have time for it anyways.”

      “You say that, but it’s nice to go on a date.” Hana sighed and dropped down onto the cot beside Rani. It creaked in protest beneath their combined weight but she knew it would be fine. “I kind of went on a friend date with Jihyun. It was great.”

      “A friend date.” One of Rani’s dark eyebrows rose at the term and Hana laughed nervously. “What is that?”

      “We had lunch together, went shopping, and then out to eat.” She explained as she wiggled her fingers in Hana’s face. “Take that. I’m one step ahead of you on the dating scale.”

      “I wasn’t aware this was a competition.”

      “Oh, it totally is.” Hana answered with a grin. “And I’m winning.”

      “How many points would kissing be, then?” Rani watched Hana’s expression, amused by the way her pretty face twisted with what might have been confusion.

      “More points than a friend date, but we both know-” She stopped herself mid-sentence and leaned in closer, nose to nose, to study Rani’s face. “Wait, are you messing with me again? Why would you even care?”

      “Not really,” Came the even answer without a hint of mirth. “Is it grouped together or do individual kisses have their allotted set of points?”

      “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Hana shoved her friend. “What are you saying? Have you been kissing someone?”

      Rani’s eyes slid away from Hana as the question brought Saeran to mind again. The heated way he had looked at her rose up in her memories and warmed the blood within her veins. She had kissed him then. Willingly, despite all the trouble his presence in her life caused. Willingly, despite the kiss he had stolen from her before.

      She had done it without thinking. Logically she knew it was a mistake. It would only encourage the inappropriate physical interaction that was becoming commonplace between them. On top of that she knew what would happen if another nurse or a doctor happened to witness the way they interacted.

      That would be the end of her career. Years of schooling and studying would be flushed down the drain. She would be barred from the hospital and likely from the medical practice altogether.

      “Earth to Rani. Beep, beep, beep. Are you receiving transmissions?” Hana waved her hand in front of Rani’s face and was surprised to see red darkening her cheeks. “Either your malfunctioning, I’m losing my mind, or you’re actually blushing. What the hell? Since when did you blush?”

      “Am I?” Rani lifted her hand to her cheeks and felt the heightened warmth of the blush that had settled in. “That would appear to be the case. How interesting.”

      “You are seriously one weird chick.” She pinched Rani’s cheeks with a wide smile on her face. “What kind of person got you to blush?”

      “Someone I have no business blushing over.” She brushed aside Hana’s hands and slumped against the wall. “He’s not even… It doesn’t matter. Tell me about your Jihyun.”

      “First of all, he’s not _my_ Jihyun!” The quick protest only made her friend laugh and Hana punch her arm. “Secondly, don’t think you’re getting away with just that. You’re going to tell me everything about the mysterious guy you’ve been macking on.”

      “Have you ever heard of shared dreams?”

      “What the actual fuck?” The sudden shift in conversation threw Hana for a loop. “Yeah, I’ve heard of them. People having the same dream, but why are you asking about that?”

      “I’ve had some strange dreams lately.” Rani closed her eyes as she remembered them. Lucid, surreal, and marked by the numbers that had no meaning to her. “Turns out that Saeran, the patient I’ve been taking care of, has had them too.”

      “No way.” The strawberry blonde sat up a little bit straighter. “Are you sure about that? I mean, you dream about the hospital and work all the time when you do dream.”

      “He remembered something I told him in the most recent dream.” One eye cracked open to see how close her friend had gotten. “But there’s something even more impossible. After the first dream I shared with him I woke up with bruises that coincided with events in the dream.”

      “No way.”

      “There’s a running theme with them too.” Rani held up a finger and dropped it before repeating the pattern. “There’s some numbers at the edge. I’ve only had two of these shared dreams, but they were there in both.”

      “Numbers…” A thought crossed Hana’s mind that made her swallow. The image that sprang to mind was of her recent vivid and wonderful dream. “World fraying at the edges, numbers making up the shape of it before drifting away into shapelessness. Ones and zeros.”

      “Yes.” The description was more fanciful than how Rani would have stated it, but the meaning was the same. “That was essentially it. How’d you guess?”

      “It wasn’t a guess.” Hana met Rani’s eyes. “Recently I dreamed Jihyun was a chibi. The edges of the dream was like that. Ones and zeros.”

      “Chibi?” Rani held her hand up about a foot above the cot. “About so big. Like a plush?”

      “Yeah, those. Like from anime.” Hana clasped her hands together and sighed. “He was so cute. I’ve been trying to draw it, but nothing compares.”

      “Hana, this is going to sound crazy but I think something strange is going on.” Rani chewed on her lip as she racked her mind for a reasonable explanation but came up empty. “In my last shared dream I was a chibi. It might be possible that you’re experiencing the same strange phenomenon that Saeran and I are.”

      “No way.” The very idea made Hana blush extend to her throat and chest. “It’s just a coincidence! Jihyun didn’t mention anything about the dream and you know me. I have strange dreams all the time.”

      “Perhaps you’re right.” Rani patted her friend’s shoulder gently. “But you mustn’t forget, ‘ _Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth_.’”

      “Don’t you go quoting fictional characters at me.” Hana huffed and buried her face in her hands. “Ugh, how the hell will I face him now that you’ve put that thought in my mind.”

      “You’ll figure it out.”

      “Yeah, I guess…” She sighed and parted her fingers to peer at Rani, cursing her collected expression. “So what’s this thing with you and Saeran? Wait, don’t tell me he’s the one you have no business kissing on! Rani, that’s scandalous!”

      “You’ve figured it out.” Rani ran her fingers through her hair and let out a breath. Something within her loosened at the truth coming out. “I never planned for it to happen, whatever this is.”

      “I want to be happy for you, finally finding a guy you’re interested in…” Hana lowered her hands to her lap. “But, and we both know it’s a big one, he’s a patient. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”

      “You’re telling me.” She curled her fingers around her hair and tried not to think about Saeran’s seemingly obsession with it. “There’s nothing good about this.”

      “If they know you’re… involved with a patient, you’d lose your internship, right?”

      “At least that.” Rani drew her legs up onto the cot and wrapped her arms around them. “I should put a stop to it before it gets any worse and he gets the wrong impression.”

      “Wrong impression?” Hana dropped her weight into her friend’s side and received an indignant squeak. “You were blushing easier. Don’t you like him?”

      “He’s crude, disrespectful, and hateful.” Rani gave Hana a shove but the strawberry blonde refused to be moved. “Even if he recovers physically the chances of a full psychological recovery are minimum. He’s nothing like the partner I’d choose for myself.”

      “You’re so cold, Ran!”

      “Be that as it may, these are merely the facts.”

      “Do I hear a but in there?” Hana leaned in closer and poked Rani’s face. The other woman sighed and nodded.

      “When it comes to Saeran logic seems to no longer rule.” The confession was quiet, but Hana heard it nonetheless. “Somehow it appears as if I’ve become attached to him.”

      “You like him.”

      “Do I? I wouldn’t know. I’ve never felt…” The word tasted strange on her tug and she growled in frustration. “I’ve never felt this before. I don’t know what it is or what it might mean.”

      “I think everyone gets confused with stuff like this.” Hana offered gently as she slipped her arm around Rani’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Breathe. Don’t let yourself get frustrated over it, okay?”

      “What’s it like for you?” The question came as a bit of a surprise. “How do you feel about Jihyun? What symptoms do you have?”

      “This isn’t a medical condition.” Hana could not help but laugh. “Leave it to you to try to make it seem like one.”

      “Shut it and answer the question.” Rani shot her a look that would have been threatening coming from someone who had any skill with facial expressions.

      “I can’t answer and shut it at the same time.” Her friend teased in reply. Eventually her giggles quieted enough for her to get serious. “I don’t really know how to describe it. He’s got his baggage and all, but I like being with him. It just feels right somehow. The fact that he’s gorgeous as hell is a bonus.”

      “You planning on making any moves on him to get beyond the friend date thing?”

      “Oh yeah.” She wagged her eyebrows at Rani until they both dissolved into laughter. “That man won’t know what hit him. He’s a goner!”

      “I’m sure of that.” Rani smiled and punched Hana gently on the arm. “Good luck.”

      “I don’t need luck. I make my own.” She swatted Rani. “What about you? You got a gameplan for what you’re going to do with Saeran?”

      “I’m still formulating a plan.” She wrinkled her nose and released a sigh. “And at least three backup plans since he takes great pleasure in throwing me for a loop.”

      “Whatever happens, know I’ve got your back.” Hana held up a peace sign and Rani mimicked her. They touched their fingers together and shared a small smile. “We got through everything together before. We can get through this boy drama too.”

 

#

 

      It was deja vu to see Saeyoung hunched over his laptop, fingers flying over the keyboard. Even the setting, Rika’s old apartment sans threat of a bomb, added to the familiarity of the scene. The redhead alternated between muttering nonsense to himself, crunching on Honey Buddha chips, and drinking from the likely lukewarm can of soda sitting beside his setup.

      Morrigan laid sprawled out on the bed on her back, her long purple hair falling off the edge as she watched her fiance work. It troubled her to see him back at work again, hacking away, especially when he was still recovering from being shot, but she knew nothing she said would stop him. The most she could do was get him to walk away for a break, but even that was difficult.

      “Are you sure about this?” Her question brought his golden eyes away from the laptop screen and towards her.

      “I’m sure.” He slipped off his glasses and cleaned them against his tanktop. “I can’t buy us much time so we’ll have to be quick and hope everything goes off without a hitch.”

      “We can do it.” Morrigan rolled over and crawled off the bed to his side. She bumped his arm with her head like Meowy was prone to doing and earned a laugh from her overstressed fiance.

      “Are you sure she’ll help?” Saeyoung returned his glasses to their proper place and wrapped his arms around his fiance and pulled her into his lap. Her foot knocked over his bag of chips.

      “She’ll help.” Morrigan’s certainty brought a small smile to Saeyoung’s face. “I’m absolutely positive of it.”

      “I’m sure you’re right.” He rubbed her back as his eyes strayed back to the laptop to scan over the program he had slaved over. “I just… I don’t know if she’ll be willing to pay the price. It’ll cost her.”

      “I know, but I think she’ll do it.” Mint eyes rose to catch his gaze. For perhaps the millionth time Saeyoung was struck with awe at the beautiful woman he would one day wed. She was nothing short of a miracle to him. “Trust me.”

      “I do.” Saeyoung stole her next breath with a kiss that had her grinning from ear to ear. “I just wish I knew what made you so sure.”

      “I’ve got a good feeling about it.” She wiggled her fingers at him and he was struck by the surreality of binary dancing over her skin. It was gone just as quickly as it appeared. “Plus you saw them interact. Shit’s gonna work out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been considering writing a Mass Effect fanfiction after finishing WYLaM. Would any of you be interested in that?


	12. Rescue, Kidnapping. Same diff!

      “We’ll be making the transfer tonight to avoid troubling the patients and visitors as much as possible.” The doctor was saying, eyes locked on the paperwork in front of him. His pen tapped without rhythm against the desk as he reviewed the orders. “I’ve already notified night duty.”

      “Have you spoken to his family?” Rani knew that Saeyoung and Morrigan would not willingly accept the decision to transfer Saeran to the psych ward, but if the transfer was planned then somehow they had gotten someone to sign off on it.

      “Yes, they were adamantly opposed.” He lifted his eyes to her with a small smile and covered up a yawn. “In the end Mr. Han signed off on it. Since he had taken the role of guardian and benefactor, that was all we needed to make this happen.”

      “Ah, of course.” Rani shifted in her seat and smoothed down the wrinkles forming in her scrubs. “And my assignment?”

      “We were able to give you clearance as a nurse, but we can not give you clearance for the psyc hward. Today will be your last day before returning to your intern duties.” He shuffled through his desk and offered her a packet of papers neatly clipped together. “You’ll have to sign the highlighted spots and then we’re good. We thank you for your assistance with this peculiar case.”

      “Of course.” Rani pressed her lips together as she scanned through the paperwork. It was similar to the papers she had to sign to be assigned onto Saeran’s case. Seeing nothing out of place she dutifully signed her acknowledgement of her transfer in duties, assured her silence on the case, and agreed to be brought in for consultation if the new doctors and nurses in charge of Saeran’s case deemed it necessary.

      This was the logical course of action. The perfect answer to the inappropriate relationship she had allowed to be build between her and her patient. A simple cut. One last day and then they would not cross paths again. The chances of the new crew on Saeran’s case needing her consultation on anything was slim to none.

      She would likely never see Saeran again.

      The thought left a sour taste in her mouth and left her more tense than she had been upon waking.

      “Rani!” Morrigan’s voice gave her a split second warming before a hand closed over her wrist and yanked her off course and into the restrooms. Her kidnapper released her with a wink and hurried along the length of the restroom to make sure the stalls were empty. “Okay, we’re good.”

      “I don’t believe good is the proper term for this.” Rani clasped her hands behind her back as she watched the eccentric woman do one last check to ensure their privacy. “What is the meaning of this?”

      “I needed to talk to you.” The younger woman hopped up onto the counter and clapped her hands together once. “They’re transferring Saeran to the psych ward tonight, right?”

      “Yes.” She narrowed her eyes slightly as she studied the other woman’s demeanour in an effort to glean some insight into her thoughts. There was no noticeable signs of tension. “You already knew that, I’m sure.”

      “Oh yeah, we knew.” She dropped her elbow to her knee and propped her head up on her fist as she eyed Rani. Mint eyes, just like Saeran, but brighter somehow. “We’ve come to a crossroads, Rani. We’ve chosen our path and now we want to know which way you’re going.”

      “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Rani turned on the heel. “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

      “It’s all a game.” Morrigan’s statement made Rani stop in her tracks. “But it has very real consequences. Good endings, bad endings. I’ve navigated my fair share and done everything I could to get a good ending.”

      “There’s enough beds in the psych ward for you, too.”

      “Oh, I’m not crazy.” Morrigan’s boots thumped against the tile as she dropped down. She skirted around Rani to block the door. “Hear me out, because this is your game now and not mine. The most I can do is try pointing you in the right direction and let you know you have options.”

      “I’m done here.” Rani motioned for her to move but the mint eyed woman remained in place. “Let me pass or I’ll have security drag you out of here.”

      “Help us get Saeran out.” Morrigan held up her hands between them. Rani’s eyes were drawn to the movement and she blinked when she saw the shape of Morrigan’s pale fingers fade. Numbers danced over her skin. Ones and zeros. “He deserves better than what they have planned for him.”

      “There’s nothing I can do.” The paperwork was already signed and she had no power over his diagnosis or the procedures the hospital chose to use. Even if she argued against it, which she could not since it was the only reasonable course of action, the signatures were already in place. “I’m off his case today.”

      “Oh, there’s still something you can do.” The numbers left her fingertips and she dropped her hands to her side. “You could help us get him out of the hospital. You could take over his treatment elsewhere, where he’ll be safe. We’re doing this with or without you, but you’re smart enough to know we’ll need your help.”

      “You’re insane. Security won’t let you get him through his ward, let alone out of the hospital.”

      “We’ve got plans in place for all of that.” There was no sign of doubt in Morrigan’s tone. In fact, it almost seemed as if she were excited. “Trust me. Saeyoung and I have navigated far worse than some hospital. We’re making our move at six. Will you help us?”

      “No.” Rani shoved her aside to get to the door. “You’re on your own.”

      “We’ll see.” The woman chirped as she followed Rani out only to take a different path away from the elevator.

      She should inform security as soon as possible. Whatever plan Saeyoung and Morrigan had in motion could be circumvented if she just paused on her trek to Saeran’s room to speak to anyone about what the woman had told her. Even without the details, having security on alert should be enough to stop them. It was the logical thing to do to ensure that Saeran received the treatment the doctor planned for him.

      Yet she did not speak to anyone. She moved through the halls without pausing from the elevator to Saeran’s door.

      “If it isn’t my android nurse.” Saeran’s voice was hoarse as he greeted her and his eyes glassy. Rani moved to the bedside to check his vitals, as she always did, and felt how clammy his skin was. “What, no kiss hello?”

      “You look and sound like shit.” Abandoning the vitals she brushed his bangs out of his face and felt his forehead. Her hand drifted down to his cheek and he leaned into her touch. “Has anyone informed you of the plans tonight?”

      “They’re moving me.” He frowned. “And you’re off my case after today.”

      “Yes. They’re transferring you to the psych ward. I don’t have the qualifications so I can’t follow you there.” Rani watched his mint eyes, so similar to Morrigan’s in their colour, but nothing like the woman’s. Saeran’s eyes were nearly lifeless.

      “Yeah, I figured.” He turned his face away from her to stare out the window.

      “Not everyone is in agreement that this transfer is the best choice.” She edged around the truth, knowing that if she mentioned Saeyoung and Morrigan he would likely become even more resistant.

      “I don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks.” He scoffed and ran his fingers through his hair, messing up the already mussed locks further. With an aggravated noise he turned to her. “What about you? What side of the fence are you on?”

      “Medically speaking I-”

      “I’m not asking the nurse shit.” Saeran cut her off with words sharp enough to make her flinch. “I’m asking you.”

      “Personally?” He nodded and she swallowed. “My opinion is irrelevant.”

      “Irrelevant? Don’t be such a fucking dumbass.” Saeran’s hand found her hair and tugged. There was no real force behind it despite the edge in his tone, but she let him move her anyways. “I asked you, didn’t I? If I asked then I want to know. Which side of the fence are you on?”

      “I…” She had refused to help Morrigan and Saeyoung spring him from the hospital. She had not spoken up against the diagnosis and transfer talks. As a nurse, an intern really, she had kept silent or gave her agreement for the steps forward. Yet he was asking about her. Not the intern, the nurse, or the doctor she would be. Her own opinion.

      “Rani,” His fist loosened in her hair, his touch almost becoming gentle. “Where do you stand?”

      “I don’t like it.” She closed her eyes against his gaze as something within her tightened and loosened in rapid succession. Remembering what Morrigan had said before she found herself echoing part of the speech. “I’m at a crossroads right now and I don’t know what to do, but I do know that I don’t like it.”

      “If I didn’t know any better…” Saeran allowed the sentence to hang unfinished between them, choosing not speak the thought that had crossed his mind. It was better for him to be ignorant than have her answer in the negative. “Nevermind that.”

      “If you say so.” Rani did not pursue the dropped line of thought. Instead she let her eyes drifted towards the clock. Six was what Morrigan had said. There was an hour until the couple enacted whatever plan they had cooked up to try to spring Saeran out.

      “You know who my nurse is gonna be?” Saeran’s question made her open her eyes again. “She gonna be Bollywood or boring as hell?”

      “I wasn’t informed.” Nor had she thought to ask. “I’m the only ‘nurse’ on staff that would fit your Bollywood tastes, so by process of elimination your new nurse will bore you.”

      “Well, that’s fucking great.” He slumped back against his pillows and brought his fingers to his temple to rub away the building migraine. “Today’s already shite.”

      “Have you been eating?” Her eyes moved to the seemingly untouched lunch tray on the bedside table. “We’ve discussed this before. You need to eat.”

      “Haven’t been hungry.” Saeran wrinkled his nose in disgust as he regarded the tray. Before Rani could lecture him again he reached for her wrist and yanked hard enough to send her off balance. She tripped over her feet and tumbled across his lap.

      “What was that for?” Rani pushed herself upright to face him, still half sprawled over his lap. “If you’re trying to distract me from the matter on hand it’s not working.”

      “I’m not eating so stop wasting your breath.” Saeran’s fingers went to her jaw, following the curve of it before digging into her skin in a grip just shy of painful. “I feel like crap right now so if you mention food again I might upchuck, got it?”

      “I’d rather you not.” Rani tried to pull away but his hold was too strong. Memories of her recent conversation with Hana flitted through her mind and she suddenly became hyper aware of the typical sounds of the hospital going on beyond the door. Footsteps that could stop at any moment and catch her in this precarious and highly inappropriate position. “Let go of me.”

      “Nah. I don’t feel like it.” His thumb rose and swept over her lips and she faintly tasted salt. “You gonna visit me in the wacky ward?”

      “I don’t have clearance.” Distracted by the feel of his thumb on her lips, Rani missed the way his face twisted in anger. “Even if I did…”

      “You wouldn’t, would you?” Saeran’s grip shifted and she felt the prick of his uneven, jagged nails in her skin. “You’re just like all the rest, aren’t you Rani? Gonna abandon me the first chance you get.”

      “Every moment with you has put my career on the line.” The truth did not loosen Saeran’s grip. “It’d be best if I didn’t see you again after today. That’s the only logical way to prevent years of schooling from going to waste.”

      “Is that what you want though?”

      Rani frowned at the question but could not find an immediate answer to it. The years of hard work and strict schedules had been what she wanted. The medical field had always interested her, even before learning about her disorder. It had solid facts. Cause and effects that could be studied and understood.

      At a young age she had decided that she would study and become a doctor. It had been her driving focus throughout life and she had never hesitated to answer if someone would ask her if that was what she wanted.

      Yet now she hesitated. She still wanted to become a doctor. The drive remained, but something had changed. There was part of her that did not walk to walk away from Saeran, troubled as he was, despite not having the qualifications or the experience necessary to help him. It was not the future doctor in her that drove this desire.

      “You don’t know, do you?” He hummed off-key as his fingers loosened from her chin, trailing down to wrap around her neck. The kiss he stole was rough and dominating, stealing her breath and making her temperature spike. His teeth caught her lip as he broke the kiss and she shuddered. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

      “Rude.” Rani pushed away from him and drew the back of her hand across her mouth. “You’re a jackass.”

      “Yeah, yeah.” He waved off the insult with a mirthless laugh. “But you seem to have a thing for that, don’t you bitch?”

      “You wish.” A blush spread across Rani’s cheeks and she slipped free from Saeran’s touch and retreated to the door.

      “Yeah, I do.” His words followed her out the door, unmistakable in their pronunciation or meaning.

 

#

 

      “You’re strange.” Saeyoung’s proclamation was quiet, but Morrigan heard it nonetheless. Her humming, which was some theme from a spy movie, stopped as she giggled. “Why am I marrying you again?”

      “Because you’re strange and I’m fucking awesome.” She swatted him playfully on the rear and he shot her a look that was heated and full of promise. “Save that for later. We’ve got a mission.”

      “Aye aye, Captain!” His hand snapped to his forehead in a salute.

      “We good to go?”

      “About to be.” Saeyoung’s golden eyes moved to the clock ticking away. Six o’clock was rapidly approaching. As soon as it hit they could safely get moving without being recorded on any of the security thanks to the program he had slipped in through the back door the hospitals less than stellar cyber firewalls had left. “Remember. We’ve got ten minutes. Get in, get out.”

      “I know.” She grew serious as she watched the clock with him. They had discussed this at length before arriving at the hospital. To keep the security from knowing the system had been compromised the program would only be active for ten minutes before deleting itself and all traces Saeyoung might have left. On top of that the dummy codes he created to move through the secure wings would deactivate and leave them stuck if they were too slow.

      It was a mess and a half, especially since they could not go near Saeran’s room until the program was in place, but Morrigan had faith in Saeyoung and herself. They would get it done.

      “Is Rani helping?” The question was met with a shrug from his fiance and Saeyoung sighed. “Fuck.”

      “Give her time. She’ll come through.” Morrigan’s eyes left the clock to focus on Saeyoung, knowing how important this was for their family. “She hasn’t told security about our plans, after all.”

      “I hope you’re right.” Saeyoung squeezed her hand before looking back at the clock. The hour hand slid into place and they moved out of the quiet of the snack nook. No one looked twice as the couple made their way to the stairs.

      They met no resistance as they made their way to Saeran’s floor aside from a couple doors with passcodes. Saeyoung’s dummy codes let them continue on and Morrigan sent worried looks towards her phone. They were making good time, but every second that passed weighed heavily on her. Failure to complete the mission was not an option.

      The first real hiccup was the security stationed outside of a passcoded door on Saeran’s floor. The couple ducked out of sight with a heavy intake of air and checked the time again. They had not planned this complication.

      “The one time the shift change isn’t clockwork.” Morrigan hissed between her teeth as she snuck a quick peek around the corner. They had planned so carefully around the momentary absence of guards caused by the shift change, but it appeared as if the replacements were late for some reason.

      “Maybe Miss Jeong said something.”

      “No. She wouldn’t.” Morrigan pressed her ear to the wall and closed her eyes. Her body tingled and she felt her consciously shift along with the binary until she could hear the guards. Walls might not have ears, but the laws of the world were subject to her will if she tried hard enough. “Shit fuck, shitsticks. Change in scheduling. They’re not changing out for another hour…”

      “Can you lure them away?” Saeyoung tried not to stare too hard at the wall his girlfriend was literally leaning into. The binary of the wall danced over her face and he wondered if it tickled. “Do some of your Matrix stuff?”

      “Not sure.” She pulled away from the wall with a frown. The binary instantly snapped back into rigidity in the way but her cheek took a moment longer to return to normal. “Something big enough to distract two of them would likely trigger something like a lockdown which’ll only make things worse.”

      “I guess we’ll have to split up then.” He peeked around the corner for a second before returning his gaze to her. They could still do it, if they rushed, but whoever played distraction would no longer be able to help with manoeuvring Saeran out of the hospital. “I don’t know if we can do this.”

      “Do what?” Rani’s voice made them both jump and slap a hand over each other’s mouth to smother the squeals. The medical student blinked slowly at them before shaking her head. “Nevermind. I don’t want to hear it.”

      Rani disappeared around the corner and moments later the security guards hurried past them. Neither of the men spared the surprised couple a glance. Not wanting to take the stroke of luck for granted or to look too closely at the horse’s mouth, they hurried to the door to find it already open and Rani staring blankly at them.

      Morrigan was right after all - a fact that caused her to send a gleeful look to her fiance as they hurried past the half-Indian woman. The door clicked shut behind them and the soft thump of Rani’s functional white sneakers followed them to Saeran’s room.

      “So how long we got before security comes back around?” Saeyoung sent a wary look in the direction they had come from.

      “Five minutes.” Rani answered with a shrug. “And maybe the same before someone comes to check on Saeran.”

      “Thanks Rani.” Morrigan blew her a kiss. “We’ll be in contact.”

      “For his sake, you better be.” The woman turned on her heel and stalked off, leaving them to complete their mission.

      Saeran was not exactly cooperative. Even if he had no desire to be stuck in the psych ward, his lack of trust in his brother and general ‘Fuck everything!’ attitude meant he was not a walling participant in the rescue. The pair apologised, but Saeran’s eyes were filled with fiery hate until the chloroform took effect and they drifted closed.

      Morrigan and Saeyoung was not sure if they even breathed until they had Saeran safely buckled into the backseat of the car and they were well on their way. Their phones beeped twice to alert them the bypass Saeyoung had created had disabled and erased itself.

      “Mission success!” Morrigan pumped her fist in the air and winced when her knuckles came in contact with the roof of the car. Saeyoung shot her an amused look and she blushed as she dropped her hands to her lap. “When we get back to the apartment and get Saeran settled, you get Rani’s deets so I can contact her.”

      “How’d you know she’d help?” Saeyoung should have known better than to doubt Morrigan after everything they had been through together. She had sat on a bomb yet pulled him out of the deep depression he had gone into, walked into hell with him, and somehow got them out. Things just had a way of working out when she was around.

      “Word around the hospital is that she’s about as cuddly as a radioactive cactus and as friendly as a brick wall.” The purple haired woman twisted around to check on Saeran who slumped against the window of the car, still fast asleep. “But she’s different around him.”

      “I guess…” He would have to take her word on that.

      “Oh top of that, she’s got the weird Angel thing going on.” Morrigan settled back into her seat and propped her legs up on the dash. “Saeran pulled me into a binary dream, but she tossed me out. I just know she’s got the binary mojo. I can feel it.”

      “I really don’t get how that made you so certain she’d help.” Saeyoung glanced at her out of the corner of her eye and saw the smirk on her face. “What?”

      “Dude, babe, lover o’ mine…” Morrigan half sang the words. “I’m pretty sure she’s our future sister-in-law.”

     "Well, fuck."


	13. Glitch! - Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back?  
> That's right, your very own Binary Angel with another chapter!

Sunshine. A radiant warmth that softened the edges of Jihyun’s unfocused world of colours and blurs. Blues that eddied and swirled with creamy white. Greens speckled with yellows and oranges. A beauty, distant and fuzzy, beckoned for him to reach for a better lens to capture it before it faded.  

Beauty always faded.

The first lens he tried sapped the colour from the vision and left it faded and dull. The second lens warped everything further, smearing everything into a shapeless sickly green. The third was too slow, making the image whisk by and leave streaks across the image and none of its beauty. The fourth unnaturally twisted the scene in an unspeakable way that left Jihyun unsettled and shaking.

“Jihyun?”

“Give me a minute.” He felt for another lense but his photography bag blazed against his skin. Cloth flaked away at his touch and molten glass and plastic clung to his fingertips. The heated much dripped from his fingertips as he tried to snap a surviving lens onto his camera. “I’ve just got to get this shot.”

“Why?”

“Because I have to. I have to remember.” Molten glass and plastic kept flowing over his fingers, too much to have come from his bag. Agony seared through him and made him sake, but he kept fighting to line up the shot. Shadows edged in closer, threatening to completely swallow the beauty he tried to capture. He had to save it, to save that moment, that transitory serenity before the darkness settled in completely.

“Oh, poor sweet Jihyun. Are you still trying to save me?”

Jihyun’s fingers slipped into the camera, searing him to the bone. A tremble rocked his limbs but still be persisted even as claws dug into his flesh and the already fuzzy image distorted further. Ice bit at him where he did not burn and tears boiled where they did not freeze.

“Jihyun.” The voice that whispered into his ear was sickenly sweet and green streaked across his waning vision. “You’re so pathetic. I don’t need saving.”

“Rika, I-”   
“Shut up.” Her voice was eerily calm against the violence of the strike that gashed his cheek and knocked the camera from him. He scrambled for the fallen camera but she yanked him back by the hair. Her face filled his vision, painfully clear after what felt like a lifetime of blurs, and brutally beautiful with her serene smile and empty eyes. “You think this’ll help? Snap a picture, Jihyun! Capture the past as if it’ll change anything.”

“Rika,” Her smile stretched inhumanly across her face, leaving fractures in pale flesh to show the sick green numbers racing beneath the surface. “Please…”

“Please what?” Even her voice, once a comfort, tore him open and left him bleeding. “Let you go? Hold you closer? What do you want?”

He opened his mouth to answer but he had no words for her. His tongue dried in his mouth and his pain levels spiked. Rika’s laughter dove fingers into his ears, into his skull, and sapped his strength.

“I don’t care what you want, Jihyun.” Her breath was clammy and rank against his face. “You could’ve joined me You could’ve been in Paradise all along, but you turned on me. So suffer, Jihyun. Suffer for your sins.”

“Hey!” A hand clamped down on Rika’s shoulder and in the next moment the blonde was sprawled out on the ground, binary laced blood dripping from her slender fingers. “Back the fuck off of him!”

“Oh Hana.” Rika dug her hands into the wood below her and pushed herself upright. Her cold, hate-filled eyes locked on the half-Russian woman who stepped between her and Jihyun. Terror seized him, locking down his limbs, and rendered him helpless to do little more than watch his ex rise to her feet and stalk towards the blur of colour that was Hana. “What do you know? Absolutely nothing, but that’s okay. Get out of my way now and I’ll find a place in Paradise for you too!”

“I don’t know what you’re on about and I don’t care.” Hana spread her arms wide, further barring Rika’s access to Jihyun. “Just go. This isn’t your dream. It’s mine and your bitchass isn’t welcome here.”

“Who do you think you are?” The resounding smack of palm against skin felt like a physical blow, even if it landed on Hana’s cheek and not his. “I offer you Paradise and you dare to talk down to me! For this traitor?”

“Did you just slap me?” Hana’s hand went to her still-stinging cheek, eyes wide with surprise and fury. “Did you just fucking slap me?”

“Hana,” Although it felt as if he were moving through magma, Jihyun forced his hand to Hana’s ankle. “Leave. Get away from her. You don’t know what she’s capable of.”

“Yeah and I don’t care.” Her leg slipped free of his weak grasp as she stepped forward. This was her dream. Echos of Rani’s voice rose within her thoughts, blurring the lines of reality enough to swallow her fear. If Rani was right then this number corrupted dream could have very real consequences. There was no way she could leave Jihyun in this nightmare. “She doesn’t know what I’m capable of either.”

A wall snapped out of the ground between two women. Rika’s scream of rage rattled the bricks but the wall continued to grow. Higher and higher, it rose to block the irate woman from reaching Jihyun and Hana.

“Quiet, you.” At Hana’s words the screams instantly stopped and the brick wall settled. There was a heartbeat, then another before she let down an audible sigh and the wall began to disintegrate into fluttering flocks of rainbow butterflies.

“She’ll be back. She always comes back.” Jihyun eyed the empty space where Rika had been last. All the colours had grown dull, grayscale and cold, save for Hana and her butterflies. “You shouldn’t have gotten involved. She’s not… well.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t do nightmares.” Hana knelt down in front of him. Her fingers laced through his as she leaned in close, blocking his view of the empty landscape. “Relax. I won’t let her hurt you. Not here. The dreams of ours don’t have to suck, okay? I kicked her out of here once and I’ll do it again if she dares to show her face, got it? No nightmares on my watch.”

“Hana…” Jihyun sighed and tugged lightly on their joined hands. She scooted closer, knees brushing against his. “Even though I don’t deserve your kindness, you’re still something like an angel to me.”

“Shut up.” Her gentle voice shut down his protests, but it was the cliche that followed that silenced him. Hana’s short, chaste kiss settled his demons and the second one that neither could be sure who initiated, lasted longer and went deep enough to make the pair cling to one another and part with hearts racing in their chests.

With her fingers still laced through his and her gentle weight settled firmly in his lap, Hana kept him in place when nerves and guilt rose up to choke him. She slipped one hand free to stroke through his hair when he dropped his head into the crook of her neck. Slowly the knot that had twisted up within Jihyun, a knot that had been there longer than he knew, unwound beneath her comforting embrace and the familiar sweet scent of her shampoo.

Unbidden, the thought of the shower rushed to the forefront of his thoughts and brought a rise of heat with it. His arms wound around her waist, tightened one second and loosened the next. The urge to draw her closer and drink her in warred with every part of him that was a gentleman and still loyal to Rika.

“What are you thinking?” Hana’s voice was gentle. A quiet whisper he could easily pretend he had not heard. The question could be dismissed if he did not want to share and he had a feeling she would not pry. Maybe that was what pulled the truth from him. Maybe he missed being honest with anyone.

It may only be a dream, but he missed not having to wear some kind of mask. He had walked on eggshells for so long. Every word and every expression had to be carefully crafted from keeping Rika off. After she had left, every word and expression had to keep the peace, keep the lie he had told the RFA. He had to mask the truth and protect everyone around him even if every move he made left him exhausted.

Rika, Jumin, Yoosun, Saeran, Saeyoung, Zen, and even Jaehee. He had been so exhausted by the time Morrigan and Maria Chaikin, the mismatched twins Mint Eye heralded as their Angels, that he just wanted to scream. Two more people wrapped up in the chaos of his life. Two more to threaten everything.

The Chaikin twins did more than threaten everything. They shattered his carefully crafted lies. Yet when shit hit the fan and the truth he had hidden for so long came out, he had been relieved.

“It's a mess.” His voice was muffled by the smooth, fragrant flesh of her neck but her encouraging hum freed more words. “That woman… She was my sun, but I failed her. Failed everyone, really. There were so many hurt because of my failures. I can’t begin to make up for it all.”

“That kind of guilt’s a heavy burden.” Jihyun expected her to say more. He deserved her to turn away from him, but she did not. Her voice remained warm and sympathetic. “I don’t know what you’ve done, what you think you’re responsible for, but I can tell it weighs heavily on your soul.”

“I tried so hard to be what she needed me to be. I tried to be what they needed. He closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to spell and breathed in more of her scent. “I failed.”

“No one’s perfect.” Hana sighed as her fingers stilled at the base of his neck, a comforting worth he did not deserve but craved with every ounce of his being. “But the past is just that. You can’t drag it with you into the future. Ask yourself something, please. Look past all the guilt and ask yourself what you want - for those you love, for the future, and for yourself. After everything you’ve gone through - think about what you want, what you need - if only for a moment.”

“I don’t deserve-”

“Stop martyring yourself. Stop condemning yourself.” She firmly cut him off and pulled away enough so he could see her blurry faces inches from his when he opened his eyes. “Jihyun, you’re a good man otherwise you wouldn’t be racked with guilt. You tried your best, so let it go. Move on and stop the self-hatred.”

“Hana…” He swallowed against the flood of emotions pouring through him. One after another. Guilt, desperation, coldness, bitterness, hatred, hope, love, warmth. His soul was filled to the brim and it made him dizzy. “I-I’ll try.”

“Good.” Her forehead came to rest against his, grounding him against the typhoon rattling around inside him. “So, Jihyun. What do you want? For yourself. Now, in the future, whenever.”

“What do I want…” Jihyun squeezed her waist, drawing her closer. The chaos within him continued to whip through like the raging winds of a hurricane, but one thing found it’s way to the eye of the storm - bright within all his inner darkness. It made him think gave him hope, that when the storm had raged and broke everything apart there would still be something left. Still be some warmth and love. “I want to see you, to kiss you again. I know it’s greedy, but I want all of your warmth.”

Hana did the only thing a girl could do after hearing something like that. She gave him exactly what he wanted, what she wanted as well, and kissed him. The hunger that rose up between them left her breathless. When he tipped her over, laying her out on the wood, she felt it shift to decadently soft silk beneath her. Jihyun’s choice, preferring to lay her down on something as soft and beautiful as her own skin and she knew it too, since she would have chosen the inexpensive comfort jersey knit cotton. 

Jihyun drank in her kiss, tongue tasting her lips as he took his time. He could not see her,  but he could map out her curves with his hands and his mouth. He could brand himself with her warmth, urged on by a desire that transcended words.

Hana was hope. She was the light, the steady calm in the centre of his hurricane. 

He mapped out her lips with his own before peppering kisses over her cheeks and eyelids. She giggled as his fingers traced up her sides, dipping beneath her shirt to stroke her flesh, and he drank in the sound as if it were water in a drought. He followed the curve of her chin, of her throat, and lapped at the pulse that thumped beneath her skin.

Jihyun could not get enough. He pulled back, hands stilling just beneath her shirt, and stared down at her colours. Even without seeing her clearly, he knew she was beautiful. In that moment, it did not matter what she looked like. There was no way she could ever be anything but beautiful to him.

He inched up her shirt, giving her time to protest, but she only sighed and arched to make it easier to pull off. He set the shirt aside and lowered himself back down, tracing her curves with his hands as his lips returned to her throat. Her skin was soft and his fingers found the slope of her breasts, making his mouth go dry at the realisation she had not been wearing a bra.

“You want this too, don’t you?” He kissed the question into her throat and along her collarbones. He dragged his tongue down further, between her breasts, before pressing lingering kisses over the slope of each globe. Hana suched in a shaky breath, a shiver racing down her spine, and he pulled a pleasure sigh from her when he cupped her breasts and his mouth found one puckered nipple.

His pants tightened uncomfortably, but the discomfort was worth it. Jihyun wanted to focus on Hana, to worship her as he memorised every inch of her body. He worked one breast with his mouth, stroking and nipping with gentle patience, and mimicked the caresses as much as possible with his hand. Eventually he switched, one hand dipping low to grip at her hip.

“I want this.” Hana’s breathless voice encouraged him to take things a step further. He left her breasts to the cool air and made his way down her torso, nipping and kissing her until he met the elastic band of her sleep pants. Once more he gave her time to protest, to stop where they were going, but her went to her waistband to push it down.

“God help me, Hana. You undo me.” Jihyun made quick work of her pants, tugging them off her legs. He skimmed his hands up along their length before gently parting her knees and gently branding her inner thighs with hungry kisses, leaving reddened marks to pepper her skin before he kissed her sex through the thin fabric of her panties.

“Jihyun!” Hana gasped, one hand diving into his hair and the other gripping the sheet as if in fear of falling. Jihyun smiled, pressing more insistent kisses against the rapidly dampening fabric and dragged his tongue against he. He worked her up, bit by bit, hands holding her hips in place until her moans had been driven to a frenzy and her hand in his hair became insistent. 

His teeth caught the hem of her panties and he lifted his eyes, wishing he could see her face as he slowly dragged them off her body. A moment later he was back between her legs one thrown over his shoulder, and his mouth was in direct contact with her slick sex. Hungry as he was, he was no longer able to take it slow. He wanted to send her flying and found her clitorious by feel alone and teased it until she rocked her hips against his mouth in need of more. He drew back, just a hair, to blow air over her slickness before tracing the shape of her with his tongue. The taste of her, sweet with a touch of tang, made his erection twitch against the fly of his zipper but he was content where he was.

Jihyun wrecked her as he devoured her. Tongue and lips and the careful scrap of his teeth to leave her squirming and groaning in pleasure beneath him. He needed to wreck her, wanted to leave her as utterly destroyed as she left him. Shattered by the blazing temperatures that drove them.

When she came he licked her through the aftershocks, heightening her pleasure until she fell slack and breathless against the silk. Then and only then did he ease up his sensual torment, licking her slickness from his mouth and found himself smiling although his he had not reached his own peak. It was enough to have given her so much, to hear the song of her voice as she called out his name like a hymn.

He did not deserve her. He knew that even as he curled her up in his arms and pressed lazy, devoted kisses to her luscious lips. He did not deserve something as good as her, but at that moment he did not care. With her warmth against him and her taste still lingering in his mouth, the only thing he wished was that he could wake up with her in his arms.

But all dreams had to come to an end eventually.


	14. Understanding - Glitched!

Rani knew Morrigan and Saeyoung had succeeded in spiriting Saeran out of the hospital. She had warned the couple someone was likely to check in on Saeran’s room, though she had been off by a few minutes. Once the doctor and his legion of orderlies realised Saeran was missing, the hospital had gone into high alert. Having been Saeran’s personal nurse, Rani was pulled in and interrogated for information. Given the fact that the truth would land her in a heap of trouble, Rani edged around in and gave away nothing about her knowledge of Saeran’s disappearance or her own involvement with it.

Miss Jaehee was informed and arrived quickly, clad in a calm betrayed only by the slight tic beside her eyes. She gained control of the hospital effortlessly and put a stop to the on-site search party. The rumours that had rapidly spread were put an end to and she assured those in charge they would not be sued for losing track of a patient. Rani was kept nearby while the businesswoman collected information and handed out non-disclosure agreements like they were candy.

Rani was dismissed as Jaehee tucked the signed NDA paperwork into her briefcase. Her eyes met Rani’s as the medical student was on her way to the door. 

“Ahh, Miss Jeong, could you wait for me?” Jaehee’s request made Rani pause at the door. “I like to discuss something with you.”

With Jaehee by her side, the security guards they passed along the way barely gave Rani more than a cursory glance. The business woman waited outside the breakroom as Rani cut through to collect her things from her locker. Since it was so far past shift change, something that had messed up her already tight schedule, the locker room was empty. Taking the time to carefully arrange her bag, Rani assured herself that the few vials and needles stashed away within the lining would not face any damage or create any noise during transportation.

Being an accomplice to a kidnapping was bad enough, but it paled in comparison to pocketing drugs from the hospital’s storage. The three vials she had were valued at a couple hundred a piece but were only the start of her theft. A necessity, she told herself as she secured the backpack on her shoulder and joined Jaehee in the hallway. She would need these drugs to treat Saeran’s condition.

It was fortunate Jaehee had chosen to walk and talk with her. Jaehee breezed through the security at the employee’s exit into the parking lot and, with a few quiet words, the burly men let Rani through. A boon of luck Rani could not count on in the future, when she had to spirit away more medicine from the hospital.

“I suppose if you knew anything about Saeran’s disappearance you’d continue to keep quiet on the matter.” Jaehee commented with a side glance towards the half-Indian woman, her gaze sharp and knowing. Jaehee Kang knew Morrigan and Saeyoung were behind Saeran’s disappearance. Of course, Rani thought with admiration. The business woman was sharp as a tack and she knew the couple. It was highly possible the woman knew the method the couple used without even being involved in the planning.

Rani did not know Jaehee’s reasons for her silence, but she was grateful nonetheless.

“It is likely you will be under intense watch for some time because of your history with Saeran.” Jaehee paused outside a black SUV with heavily tinted windows. She made a motion towards the driver’s side and the engine came to life with the purring rev of top of the line machinery. “I imagine that will put quite a strain on your schedule and personal life, perhaps even interfering with your duties to your patients.”

“Yes, I’m sure it will pose a problem.” 

“Should you come into any trouble as a result or have a need of anything, contact me.” Jaehee produced a slick business card from an inner pocket of her finely tailored suit and slipped it into Rani’s hand. “Since your involvement with Saeran is a direct result of the involvement of C&R, we will do our best to assist you.”

“Thank you.” Rani lowered her eyes to the card, taking in the logo tidily emblazoned on the front. 

“My personal number is on the back.” Jaehee continued with the smallest hint of a smile. “Contact me there at your earliest convenience.”

*

When sleep came and the binary swept her away, she was not surprised to sit up in the dreamworld and see Saeran near the foot of her bed. He had his back to her, earbuds in, and music blasting loud enough for Rani to hear the  pounding bass line. The oversized black hoodie might have been able to shield the slump of his shoulders if it had not hung loose on one side, revealing the stylised eye tattooed over his bicep. One leg dangled off the edge of her bed while he had the other drawn up, one arm draped loosely over his knee.

Rani knew his behavioural problems so when he ignored her hand on his bared bicep she was not surprised. Saeran often treated her with a cold shoulder or increased barbs after her days off - a side effect of his abandonment issues, she surmised. After their last conversation, she would expect little else from him. It was likely he was not aware of her part in the rescue his brother and future sister-in-law had orchestrated.

“Saeran,” She tapped his arm once more, giving him a chance to decide if he would acknowledge her or continue to pretend as if she were not there. When she was met with silence she reached up and tugged on the thin cord hanging from his ear and pulled an earbud free. “You can’t ignore me and attempting to do so is just childish and unproductive.”

His response was to return the earbud to his ear and to begin singing along to the song. For a moment his low, raspy voice stole the breath from her lungs. Saeran was not a great a singer. His voice missed notes and sometimes he mumbled noises in place of lyrics he did not know. It was flawed, she acknowledged, and the singing imperfect but there was something about it that made her want to hear more. 

If only the lyrics were not so angry or quite so sad. Pessimistic lines of hopelessness that made Rani tense. Did he favour this type of music or was it, like Hana had once told her when they were children, a possible sign of what he was feeling?

“Saeran, you know my assignments at work is beyond my control.” No response but Rani did not let that deter her. The music was lower now, the bass no longer discernable from the ambient noise of her apartment. He might not be responding, but he was listening. Her hand slid over his arm, lingering over the tattoo, before following the curve of his arm through the sleeve. Her fingers splayed over the back of his cold skin. His flesh seemed so pale against her brown skin. It made sense. His reports had indicated years without sunlight. “Not gonna talk to me?”

“Humph.” A sound, but it was a hint of the ice cracking.

“Fine, but giving me the cold shoulder won’t silence me.” A smile threatened the corners of her lips as the way his hand twitched under hers. “We’ll see each other again soon. Saeyoung and Morrigan will see to that.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” That did the trick. Saeran shifted in place to look at her. His eyes landed on hers first, before drifting down. Colour filled his cheeks at the sight of her bare thighs tucked in close to his side. With an audible swallow he snapped his eyes back to her face. 

“Ahh, I suppose they had to drug you then.” Her eyes held his for a second longer before lowering to their hands once more. “They got you out of the hospital. I’m not sure where they took you yet, but they’ll be in contact soon.”

“Why?” His eyes dropped to their hands as well, fighting the urge to turn his palm over and capture her soft skin in his. “That’s fucking stupid.”   
“Is it?” Rani slid in closer to him, leaning her body against his, warming his side with her own heat. She was struck, not for the first time and likely not for the last, by how uncanningly real the dream felt. “It is rather stupid, yes, especially on my part as an accomplice in the kidnapping. If the hospital realises what I’ve done, what I’m still doing, I’ll never get hired in any facility. There’s also the jail time I’ll likely receive.”

“Yeah, sounds stupid.” He scoffed, words harshly spoken, but he turned his hand underneath hers and laced his fingers through hers. As if emotions and body language were difficult enough to decipher, he once again left her stumped by the contrasting cues. “Why’d you go and do dumb shit like that? There a bug in your operating system?”

“Perhaps there is. The Saeran Virus.” Her words surprised a laugh out of him and she found herself smiling. “In the end I couldn’t stand by and do nothing. While I understand the hospital’s reasoning I believe the psych ward would have destroyed you. At least this way there’s some hope for recovery, if you’ll cooperate with me.

“Yeah, right, ‘cause I’ve been so cooperative already.” Saeran rolled his eyes at her, as if her expecting such a thing was ludicrous. “You’re better off forgetting I exist, nursey.”

“No can do.” Even if it was in her nature to do so, she could doubted she could forget the mint-eyed male. “As much of a logical nightmare this is, we’re stuck with each other.”

“Fuck, as if my life wasn’t shitty enough.” Saeran’s words were at odds with the way his grip tightened on her hands. Another mix of emotional cues she could not puzzle out. He may speak like he hated her, occasionally act it, but she strongly suspected that was not the case. If he hated her then the short-lived absences from his life would not result in a clear pattern of responses. “I can’t stand you.”

“You’re full of shite.” She said without pause. “You just can’t stand the fact that you can stand me.”

“Shut up.” His grip turned painfully tight. “I hate you.”

“Saeran,” Rani bit the inside of her cheek, doing her best to keep her response to the pain at a minimal. Rather than play chicken when he was in such a mood, she tugged her hand free from his. Before he could react she twisted on the bed and settled herself onto his lap. Heat flooded her cheeks at the intimate position but seeing the male’s surprise was well worth it. “Even with my disorder I know you don’t hate me. When I see you again, you’re starting treatment before your health gets any worse. We’re not going to keep arguing about this.”

“What makes you think you can tell me what to do?” Saeran blushed and his hands ghosted over her hips before settling down on her thighs. “You’re not my nurse anymore, are you?”

“Not officially, but I don’t let a patient go if I can help it.” Heart racing in her chest, Rani carefully plucked the earbuds from him before threading her fingers through his multicoloured hair. What had been stark white tipped in pink had grown shaggier during his stay in the hospital, revealing patchy roots of red. A sign of severe shock or trauma bleaching the pigment from his hair in chunks. Maybe later she would offer to help him dye it.

“What about your job?” His voice drew her back from her thoughts. “Do you even have time for this?”

No, she did not. Between the internship and classes her schedule could not afford to dedicate the time needed to nurse Saeran back to health. Yet logic took the back route to whatever had her stubbornly clinging to this puzzle, to this particular patient.

“I’ll figure it out.” Rani had to. As clever as Morrigan and Saeyoung appeared to be, they were not doctors and Saeran needed medical help as much as he needed the emotional support of a caring family. Although not fully licenced she had enough training to give him a chance at recovery. She would just have to find a way to make time to treat him and to find a way to get her hands on more of the drugs he would need.

“Earth to Rani,” Saeran’s fingers dug into her thighs, sending a charge of static up her spine and throwing her heart into overtime. He had leaned in closer without her noticing, nose nearly touching hers. “Even here you’re so far away, thinking about your puzzles. Why the fuck are you even here? You’ll lose your entire career if you keep fucking with me, you know that right? The Saeran Virus will destroy your life.”

“I’m aware of the risks.” How could she not be? Her entire life, throwing herself into her work to become a top doctor could go up in flames. Why? “This matter, this puzzle… I suppose it’s not business anymore.”

“Then what is it?”

“Something personal. I don’t know.” She frowned. “I need to review my symptoms to make a diagnosis.”

“That’s hot. Nursetalk me some more.” The hint of a smile that had been on Saeran’s face faded. “You should leave me.”

“I can’t walk away now.” Rani’s grip tightened on his hair. Firm as her determination grew. She could not leave him. Not now. She had to stay by his side, come what may.

“What if this is just a dream, just a normal dream, and you’re not here?” Saeran’s voice lowered in volume with every word until it became a raspy whisper she doubted he intended for her to hear. His grip had become bruisingly tight in one moment and feather light the next. “What if you already did leave me. What if you’ve abandoned me to?”

“This is real.” As real as a dream could be, which had proven enough to make her question the reality of truth as she knew it. “Saeran, I’m here and I will see you soon. In person.”

“I can’t trust it.” He swallowed and his head dipped to her throat. “I’ve dreamed of the sky so many times only to wake up to cold fucking walls. I can’t trust this.”

“Then trust me instead, Saeran.” With gentle, but insistent tugs Rani guided his face from her neck. Once eye to eye, her hands slid to cup his face and hold him there. “I realise trust isn’t an easy thing for you, but swallow those fears and just trust me. I’m here and I’m not leaving you.”

“Don’t fucking say that.” His voice rose in pitch and the bruising grip returned, fingers digging into the meat of her thighs. “I can’t. I can’t give anyone my trust. I can’t let someone in like that. My thorns, why don’t they affect you? How am I supposed to protect myself if you’re bulletproof?”

“I won’t betray you.” Rani sucked in a deep breath, feeling a painful clench inside her chest at the way his eyes shimmered just before tears slipped free. They were hot as they dripped over her fingertips and she felt her own eyes welling up without her really understanding why. “I haven’t lied to you before and I’m not going to start now.”

“Rani…” Saeran’s hold loosened and his hands travelled to her back. “I can’t let you be my sky.” 

“Trust me.” Rani kissed him. Maybe it was to shut him up. Maybe it was to get him to stop overthinking everything. Maybe it was because she could not bear to see him crying.

He tasted of salt, lips slick with it, but that did not stop her. Her lips moved against his slightly chapped, hesitant ones in a silent press for a reasons. When he registered what she was doing, she lost control of the kiss with the surge of his rough, consuming hunger.

Her hands dropped to his unzipped hoodie, using it to pull him closer and kissed him back with a hunger that frightened her in its ferocity. 

They were breathless when the kiss broke, but Saeran latched onto her neck with unsated need. His hands slid lower, beneath the sleepshirt that had ridden up. He ground her down against her and she gasped at the feel of his arousal pressing against her. Saeran grunted against her throat, teeth catching her flesh in a sharp bite that had her arching. 

He tipped her over and pressed down against her, hands leaving her rear to dive upwards and pull her shirt from her body. His hips never left hers, steadily rocking against her as his lips and teeth traveled down the column of her throat, over her collarbones, and branded her flesh with his need. It was too fast, sending Rani’s mind spinning, but she found herself muttering encouragement.

“You’re in for it now,” Saeran breathed the words into her skin. His lips softened between her breasts, the once pain-laced touch becoming something like a caress before he pulled away. His eyes roamed over her exposed flesh, mint eyes molten and mad with something indescribable. “You’re going to regret this.”

His fingertips moved over her skin and she felt silken rope follow the motion. A lone beneath her breasts that moved across her chest to form a star. A tickle of his touch against her wrist and the ropes wound them together and pulled them above her head. Saeran kept touching her, focused on her skin as he bound her body in a harness that cupped her breasts, presenting them, but did not cover them. He trailed his fingers over her torso, along her ribs and lingered at her hips and the rope followed suit.

She nearly came off the bed when his fingers dipped lower, tugging her panties off and tossing them aside so he could stroke her thighs and trace teasingly close to her heated sex. His eyes lifted, trapping hers as firmly as his red ropes, and he smirked as his fingertips trailed over her legs. The ropes needed no trail to follow then, wrapping around her ankles to pull her legs apart.

She was left bound up like a present, leaving nothing to question, and at Saeran’s mercy. 

No, not completely at his mercy. She wiggled her fingers and felt the ropes tingle against her flesh. Static given form through desire and, just as easily, such form could be dissolved with a single thought. 

“I knew you’d look good in red,” Saeran’s voice was raspy, huskier than usual as he took in the sight of her as if committing it to memory.

The ropes had to be red, Rani thought with a sigh. She strained against the ropes when Saeran’s lips returned to her flesh. The red of passion that bled through their veins. To her mother’s people, it was the red of purity. Messages unmuddied with inept words, emblazoned across her skin.

For once she knew the extent of Saeran’s need for her. 

The red of a bride, the hazy thought wound its way through her mind paired with images of women in vibrant red Saris dancing in celebration of a marriage. She wondered if he knew the cultural meaning behind the colour. He watched Bollywood films, did he not?

“Stop thinking.” Saeran pinched her nipple, drawing a pained whine from her. He soothed the abused flesh with a gentle kiss. “I want to be the only thing on your mind, Rani.”

“That’s unrealistic.” But Rani’s heart thumped faster in her chest at his words. It jumped into overtime when his hands moved to her hips and then the inside of her thighs.

“You’d think that…” His mouth trailed low and she had no way of preventing him from nipping roughly at her thighs. “But right now you’re the only thing on my mind. Just gonna return the favour.”

Saeran’s mouth moved to touch her in a way no one had ever dared before. Too rough, too demanding, but yet not enough. He was all teeth and tongue, marking her thighs and licking along her exposed slit. The warm softness of his tongue exploring her paired with the firm hardness of his teeth that scraped and pinched had her sensible thoughts fleeing from the rush of desire that drowned her.

He had her keening and pulling hard against the ropes that bound her to the bed. Whether she wanted to make him stop or keep him there she did not know. Both urges warred within her until her body’s demand for more won out over what little reservations she had left. True to is word he eclipsed his thoughts until all that remained was her primal, instinctive need for more.

“That’s my girl.” Saeran praised her as he sat up to shrug off his hoodie, followed by tank he wore underneath. His bare chest pressed against hers and she tasted herself in his kiss. He ground his hips into hers, the denim rough against her nether lips, but the friction not enough to finish the job he had started with his mouth. “Am I in your head, Rani, leaving room for nothing else?”

“Saeran.” His name was all she could say when he latched onto her throat, suckling hard on the flesh as he rocked against her.

“I’ll brand you. Make you belong to me.” Saeran spoke against her over-sensitive flesh, the ghost of his lips enough to make her shiver. She felt the weight and friction of his hips moving away, leaving her cold as he undid his button and freed his erection from the confines of his pants. He held himself upright, looming over her as he pumped himself with the other. “My nurse, my Rani. Mine.”

She could stop him and they both knew it. A single thought would free her from the ropes. A single thought would be enough to turn this dream around and give her back control. 

The thought of what was happening overwhelmed Rani, making her tremble beneath him. What he was doing to her now, the marks he left in his passionate possession, would carry over into waking hours. There would be no going back from this but as he adjusted himself, sliding the head of his cock against her slit, bumping into her clit she realised she did not care.

She wanted this. 

“That’s my girl.” Saeran’s voice was breathless, his kiss light against her lips. As if he knew what she did not say, he lined himself up. The slightest thrust followed, just enough to sink the head in, and they moaned together. “That’s it. That’s fucking in.”

He rocked his hips, drawing back just a bit and sinking in further with every motion. Deeper and deeper still until he bumped into the barrier that made him freeze. Saeran’s eyes met hers, realisation making them widen before they darkened further with emotions and need she could not put a name to. Two more shallow thrusts and then, all at once, he filled her completely.

“Rani, my Rani.” Saeran cooed into her ear, catching the lobe between his teeth. She felt him shake, body tense as he held himself still within her heat. “I’m not going to hold back anymore.”

The speed of the pace he left was one thing, but the force behind his thrusts made her light headed. He would not let her catch her breath as he withdrew, leaving only the tip of himself still inside, and slammed in deep again and again. There was an edge of pain, an ache between her legs, but pleasure lit her aflame at the same time. His lips would not stay in one place, moving from her own to drink in her moans before darting to her throat and collarbones.

Deepened by passion, Saeran’s voice flooded her ears with a constant stream of vulgarity and praise punctuated with groans. His fingers dug into her hips around the ropes, nails biting into her skin as the pace of his thrusts rose in intensity. He had said he would stop holding back, but she knew the moment he truly let go of control.

The ropes lashing her legs to the bed was gone in an instant and he stopped, only long enough to throw her ankles over his shoulder and set in rougher and faster. The new angle made her arch, helpless within his grasp, as he rubbed against her in new ways and seemed to reach deeper than before.

“Not yet,” Saeran growled when the pleasure was starting to drown her, slowing down until she sobbed with frustrated need. She pulled against the ropes, twisted against his firm grip, in an attempt to gain more friction and chase the orgasm that had slipped away. “I didn’t say you could come yet.”

He brought her to the peak, sweat studding his brow, and denied her once more. His kisses grew sloppy, more tongue than teeth, and she could feel the tension of his body against hers. Yet he smirked at her pleas and edged her once again until her need to come had grown so strong that it turned into torture.

Saeran brought her back to the peak again, harder and faster than before. Words failed her as it approached but she tried to swallow it back, to fight the rising tension and pleasure.

“That’s it.” He praised her, hand moving between her legs. His fingertip ghosted against her over sensitized clit, but it was the following painful pinch that broke her. “Come for me, Rani, and don’t hold anything back.”

There was nothing that could stop her from crashing over the peak and no way to silence herself as she came. She sobbed from the intensity of it. Mouthy until the moment he followed her over the edge, Saeran choked on her name and clung tightly to him as they both shook from the waves of pleasure.

Saeran was the first to collect himself, slowly withdrawing from her and peppering her with kisses. His breath was heavy as he began to free her from the ropes binding her, kissing the dimpled flesh and soothing the pain she hardly felt now. He left no inch of her abused flesh untouched, caressing her until numbers edged her vision.

“My Rani, my sky…” He settled onto the bed beside her, sliding his fingertips over her heart and cupping the back of her head. The kiss he gave her was so gentle, almost hesitant and shy after what they had just done, that she felt the gravity of it settle deep within her. “I’ll see you soon, right?”

“Right.” She closed her eyes as he buried his face into the crook of her neck and ran her fingers through his hair until the numbers closed in on them and she woke up, alone, in her bed.


	15. Small World

Hana woke up in a good mood which followed her to SKY university. She sat through class, taking notes as the professor droned on about sociological themes present in art during the 17th and 18th century. Even the professor’s dull, monotonous voice as he talked about Baroque and Rococo artwork did little to dampen her mood. Her spirits remained high until a headache set in deep around noon, making her drop the pencil she had been using to sketch the pattern of fabric draped over the model’s body.

Graphite smeared across her temples as she tried to massage away the tension with an aggravated sigh. It hurt to focus on the details she needed to sketch and she knew this portion of the project needed to be completed before class ended. They had already sketched the model on previous days, tracing out the curves of her figures and the drape of her hair. Today was meant to pick and sketch an article of clothing she wore. Jeans, the knit sweater, or the fringed plaid shawl draped over her shoulders.

Hana had chosen the shawl, liking the way it flowed and the play of light and shadows on the busy weave. The rest of the outfit was up to them, according to the professor, and she already had in mind a cute skirt and leggings that would look quite cozy paired with the shawl.

Unfortunately the headache made it difficult to work on the small detail work she knew her professor would be grading on. She tried nonetheless, even if she had to squint and pause frequently to rub at her temples.

“Miss Volkov,” The professor leaned over her shoulder to examine the canvas. Mrs Won had the bearing and appearance of a woman more at ease in a STEM field kind of setting with her meticulously styled bun, nary a hair out of place, and somber pressed suits.

There was never a single speck of suit on Mrs Won nor was there any hint of paint or charcoal anywhere on her body. Yet Hana had seen for herself the way colours unfurled across the canvas when Mrs Won took up the brush. As strict as she appeared, the older woman moved with the grace of a young woman. Her brushes danced with an effortless ease and the colours shone vibrant and whimsical in her work. 

There was no doubt in Hana’s mind that Mrs Won was an artist and she held the professor in high respect. So when she heard the elder’s disappointed sigh, her spirits sunk. 

“Is everything alright? You seem to be struggling.”

“I’m fine. Just a bit of a headache.” Hana pushed past the headache to squint at her work, trying to will herself to see it as Mrs Won would. It did not look too bad, she thought to herself, but her professor was right. The struggle she was having working with the headache was conveyed in shaky lines. It was not up to the standard of her usual work. Still, there was a chance of salvaging the work if she put the effort in. She would just have to do a rough outline of the fabric, shading, and lighting before she left and fill in the rest from memory. “Sorry about this. I’ll it up, I promise.”

“I’m sure you will.” Mrs Won straightened with another sigh. Hana felt the older woman’s critical eyes move from the canvas to her and wondered what the professor saw when she looked at her. “If you’re having any problems do let me know. If it’s a flare-up-”

“No, no, no.” Manners screaming at her for interrupting a professor, Hana shook her head and threw that train of conversation as far away as possible. It was bad enough Mrs Won knew her files. Hana did not want to think about it and what a flare-up could mean to her. “It’s not that. Just a little headache, like I said.”

“You’d know better than I would. I’ll take your word for it.” The hand that lightened on her shoulder sent Han’s stomach into a twist. Perhaps it was meant as a comfort, but the short lived weight settled like a brick in her heart. Her professor had a keen eye and would likely be watching for any hint that Hana was having trouble. There was even less room for mistakes now. 

Fantastic.

In need of a pick-me-up, Hana was quick to pack up at the end of class and left campus for lunch. Buzz around the school talked about a nearby cafe with ever-changing themes and cute waitresses. Apparently it had been going with a maid theme the month before but was supposed to be doing a cosplay theme for the current month. If that was not interesting enough to draw patrons in, Hana heard only good things about the food, drinks, and prices offered there.

If the prices were not as good as she heard, Hana could always just walk up about a block more to the food truck that typically parked in the neighborhood. It did well enough for itself with its obscenely low prices and Hana had snagged food from them before. She quite liked their Japanese takoyaki balls and always had to buy a second order to snack on later.

**Jaehee has entered the chat.  
** **Jaehee:** Morrigan, Saeyoung.  
 **Jaehee:** I don’t even know if I want to know what you two are up to  
 **Jaehee:** I don't want my suspicions confirmed. **  
** **Jaehee:** I hope you two know what you’re doing.  
 **Morrigan:** Baehee!   
**Morrigan:** Your concern does make my heart pitter patter so!  
 **Morrigan:** Pitter patter, pitter patter!  
 **Morrigan:** Don’t worry your beautiful head! Saeyoung and I know exactly what we’re doing. We’ve got this in the bag!

Hana’s waitress, a dark-skinned foreigner with impeccable Korean, was friendly and bright as she took her order. She even paused and did a quick spin for the artist upon request so the costume could be admired. True to the rumours, the cafe was having a cosplay theme, and her waitress was dressed as the lead character in the still-popular anime classic, Slayer Moon, complete with Sarah’s trademark blond buns and long pigtails.

For a costume worn in a small cafe for only a short while, some serious craftsmanship and attention to detail was a delightful surprise.

“Maria!” Slayer Moon, whose real name was apparently Sarah, looked up at the voice that called. A blond young man raced over to her, nearly tripping over his feet. “Did you hear about Saeran? Did Morri and Seven have anything to do-”

“Wait, Saeran?” Hana knew that name. Rani had mentioned a man by that name. The patient she had shared dreams with. Butting into the conversation was rude, but she could not help herself. Whatever they were talking about could very well affect her childhood friend. “Was he a patient, by any chance, in a local hospital?”

**Seven:** Ba rum rum bum da bum!  
 **Morrigan:** Bum dum da bum da!  <3  
 **Seven:** There’s my lovely 606!  
 **Seven:** Light of my galaxy!  
 **Jaehee:** I don’t know how you two can be so carefree in a time like this.  
 **Jaehee:** What you’re doing…  
 **Jaehee:** You’ve committed a felony!  
 **Seven:** Yeah, well…  
 **Seven:** It had to be done.  
 **Seven:** Never doubt God 707 and 606!  
 **Morrigan:** With our minds on the case the risks have been calculated! Everything will be fine.  
 **Morrigan:** Especially with Rani helping!  
 **Maria has entered the chat.  
** **Maria:** Morri! I’m glad you’re here!  
 **Maria:** There’s this woman here, at the cafe.  
 **Maria:** She’s asking about Saeran.   
**Maria:** What do I do?  
 **Morrigan:** Can’t be Rani, can it?

“Before I answer any of your questions.” Maria sucked in a breath and sent her phone a nervous look. “What’s your name?”

“Hana. Hana Volkov.” Hana offered her as disarming as a smile as she could. The air felt tense and heavy. The blond male fidgeted in place, checking Maria’s phone over her shoulder in clear uneasiness. “I’m sorry for jumping you like that. It’s just my friend mentioned a Saeran to me. A patient of hers. Might not even be the same guy…”

**Maria:** Says her name’s Hana.   
**Maria:** Says her friend mentioned Saeran, that he was a patient.  
 **Morrigan:** Small world?  
 **Seven:** Might be!   
**Jaehee:** The chances of it being a friend of Miss Jeong…

“What’s your friend’s name?” Yoosung was the one to ask, his amethyst eyes sliding from the phone to Hana.

“Rani Jeong.” The pair glanced at each other, eyes widening at Hana’s answer before returning to the phone. Maria’s fingers moved rapidly over the screen, typing out messages and responses to whomever she was speaking with. After what felt like an eon she clicked the phone’s screen off and tucked the phone into a pocket hidden in her skirt.

“Right, here’s the deal. You need to keep your mouth shut about anything Miss Jeong told you or anything we tell you, got it?” Hana shuddered under the narrowed eyes of Maria, looking fierce in the costume of a powerful vigilante. She nodded meekly, hoping that she had not just poked her way into some kind of gangster business. “Good. Yoosung, stay with her for a minute. I’ll turn her order into the chef and be back in a minute.”

What had she gotten herself into?

“This is probably pretty scary.” Yoosung sunk down into the chair opposite her with a bashful and apologetic smile. “Don’t be scared of Maria though. She’s one of the sweetest girls you could ever meet.”

“Would it be okay if I swore to never mention his name again and ran?” It was only half a joke, one that pulled a nervous chuckle from the male. Part of her did want to run. Dealing with people was never Hana’s forte and the idea that there was something going on with this Saeran that seemed awfully serious only made her more uneasy.

“There’s no need to run. It’s okay, really.” He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Really, Maria’s the sweetest girl. She’s great. She’s just kind of blunt and you knowing anything about Saeran came as a surprise. We… we went through something big recently, something bad, and it was just kind of suspect.”

“Ahh. I get it.” She really did not, but she had the feeling that whatever he had been talking about was a big deal. She also had a feeling that he was rather fond of the Slayer Moon cosplaying waitress. “Pardon me asking but are you and Maria a couple?”

“What? No, no. We’re just friends.” Yet the sad smile made it clear he indeed had feelings for her. The blush that rose in his face also made it adorably clear. “We almost… Well, she’s a good friend of mine. One of the best.”

“Alright then.” That was awkward and Hana kicked herself for asking. “Right, well… Is Saeran okay? He’s not in any kind of trouble, is he?”

“I don’t really know how much I can say.” His eyes moved towards the back as if that would bring Maria back faster. “I don’t really know everything that’s going on yet. Which is why I wanted to talk to Maria. She’d know since her sister is Saeran’s sister-in-law. Well, she’ll be his sister-in-law soon. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go on. This friend of yours, Rani, is she a good person?”

“She’s great.” Hana smiled and drummed her fingers against the table, deciding that she liked his eyes. They were kind of sad for someone who so young, but still bright. She wondered if she could capture the emotion in them. “Rani’s not the easiest to get along with, but she’s a good person. She’s gonna be a great doctor one day.”

“Did she tell anyone else about him?” Yoosung breathed a sigh of relief when Hana shook her head.

“She wouldn’t have even told me if we hadn’t been talking about something else that just tied in with him.” Hana believed that the main reason for Rani’s slip was the usually stoic woman’s attachment to the patient. “I know you just met me and you don’t know Rani, but she’d never do anything to break patient-client confidentiality or endanger him.”

**Yoosung has entered the chat.  
** **Yoosung:** Rani was Saeran’s nurse, right?  
 **Morrigan:** Still is.  
 **Yoosung:** But he’s not at the hospital…  
 **Yoosung:** OvO What’d you do?  
 **Morrigan:** Rescue effort!  
 **Morrigan:** We whisked him out for his own good!  
 **Morrigan:** Saeyoung’s trying to reach Rani now.  
 **Yoosung:** Because Saeran’s still sick, right?  
 **Morrigan:** Right! And there’s no one I trust better to nurse him back to health!  
 **Morrigan:** <3

Maria rejoined Yoosung and Hana with a drink for each of them and effortlessly took over the conversation. Saeran was a figure involved in some confidential events that they could not get into. There was an ongoing investigation into the matter and Saeran’s name and location getting out could endanger him. Maria made it very clear, repeating herself a few times, that Hana and Rani could not talk about him to anyone.

Just what had Rani gotten herself into? Hana was not sure how to feel about the serious feeling of the conversation.

“Maria, have you heard the news?” Yoosung piped up once Maria paused to sip her tea. “Jaehee ended up having to work late because Saeran went missing.”

“Oh, that.” The dark-skinned woman dropped her chin into her hand and huffed. “He’s fine. Morrigan and Saeyoung are behind that, obviously. Booted me out of the apartment to set it up for Saeran.”

“What? Where are you staying then?” He frowned in concern. “I get them wanting to help him, but isn’t that apartment yours now that Morri moved in with Saeyoung?”

“Yeah, well, it’s fine.” She waved off his concern with a flip of her free hand. “Zen’s letting me stay with him. Works out fine for me. With my work here and his schedule wrapped up with rehearsals, we barely got to see each other before. Now we’ve got some quality time so I am  _ so _ not complaining.”

**Seven has entered the chat.  
** **Seven:** Got ahold of Rani.  
 **Seven:** She’s on her way.  
 **Morrigan:** Great! Tell her to pick up some milk?  
 **Seven:** So bossy. =p  
 **Morrigan:** You weren’t complaining about that last night. ;)

“My friend, Rani. Was she involved in this?” Hana swallowed as the pair shared a look as is contemplating what to tell her or how to word it. 

“I don’t know how involved she was in the whole rescue, but she’s in it now.” Maria drained the last of her tea. “Morri talked about recruiting her. Seemed pretty sure she’d agree to help and nurse him back to health.”

“This is so fucked.” What was Rani thinking to have a hand in a kidnapping? And nursing a patient back to health? How did Rani expect to get the supplies needed for such a thing? There was only so much someone could buy from the store and with Saeran being ‘rescued’ there was a high chance the hard to find stuff would be illegally procured. 

She really needed to have a long talk with her oldest friend and smack some sense into her. Nothing good would come out of getting embroiled in such a mess. 

“Yeah, well, this is kind of normal for our life.” Maria replied with a hint of laughter in her voice. “You’ll get used to it.”

Hana’s phone stopped her from responding. Swallowing back a less than polite comment, she reached into her bag and found her phone tucked between the pages of one of her textbooks. Seeing a familiar name on the page made her brighten considerably, but the curious looks on Maria and Yoosung’s faces made her pause. 

It would be rude to answer, but she found her fingers reaching for the green symbol that would connect the call. With her other hand she held up a finger, signalling to them that she would likely only be a moment.

“Hey Jihyun!”

“Hello Hana.” His voice came through crystal clear and she found herself smiling wider. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

“Ahh, no. Nothing big. Just waiting for my lunch.” With that she sent a pointed look towards Maria who shrugged and made a walking motion with her fingers. She left a moment later for the kitchen. “How about you? Have you eaten yet?”

“I had a small lunch.” A soft hum. “Do you have some free time today? I wanted to see you.”

“Yeah?” See her. She bit her lip, her cheeks flushing with the sudden memory of her dream. How Jihyun had claimed to want to see her, amongst other delicious things she should not be thinking while sitting in the middle of a cafe. “Yeah, totally. I’m actually free for the rest of the day.”

“If it’s not any trouble, could I come get you now?” His question surprised her and made her feel a little giddy, a little floaty. “I’ve got a driver so transportations no issue.”

“Sure, if you don’t mind sitting here listening to me chew.” Hana made a mental note not to chew too loudly if she still had food on her plate when he arrived. The senses grew stronger as one weakened, after all. “I can text you the address for the cafe and you can show your driver?”

“That’ll work.” He went quiet as she followed through on her words. She overheard the soft murmur of his voice as he spoke to a male she assumed to be the driver. Then his voice returned, soft like a whisper in her ear. “I can’t wait to see you again, Hana. Thank you for making time for me.”

“Anytime, Jihyun.” The heat that rose up in her cheeks curled through her entire body as if he had caressed her. “I’ll see you soon.”


	16. Stay With Me

The address Saeyoung had given her led to a developed area. The building rose tall above her, blocking the sun as she peered up at it. A skyscraper of apartments that made her wallet cry just looking at it. And secure too, she thought to herself as she noted the cameras watching her as she entered the building. Cameras and high-tech locks. Definitely a high-dollar, secure building.

“At least it isn’t a dive,” Rani grumbled to herself as she rode the elevator to the fourteenth floor. Given the fact that Saeyoung and Morrigan had committed a crime and there was likely a task force on the search for Saeran, she would not have been surprised if they had found some out of the way, backwaters cottage to hide him in. Instead he was smack dab in the middle of a nicely populated portion of the city.

Good. It meant she would not have to worry about a lost of utilities or grime of a dilapidated shack while tending to Saeran. It also meant he was within decent driving distance of her own apartment.

Saeyoung met her at the door, whisking away the plastic bag from the convenience store she had stopped at on her way there, and disappeared deeper inside. Shaking her head, she entered the apartment and shut the door behind her.

It was a nice place, she thought as she got her bearings. Hana would likely complain about the lack of colour, but it was clean and the curtains were open to let the light stream in through the large windows. It felt a bit old fashioned, despite it’s modern furnishings, without any evidence of entertainment. No television, no computer, no game systems.

“Not my circus,” She was not here to play around. Leaving the mat just inside the door, she made her way towards the ruckus in another room to find Morrigan and Saeyoung banging around in the kitchen. Clearing her throat to pull their attention, she waited until one of them looked her way before speaking. “Where’s Saeran?”

“Oh, not even a hello?” Morrigan pouted and dramatically pressed her hands to her heart. Something that would not have been effective on Rani even if the woman’s mint eyes were not sparkling with amusement. “It’s breaking right now, my heart. Is that any way to greet family?”

“It’s no matter to me if I break your heart.” Rani planted her hands on her hips and stared down the eccentric woman. “Saeran’s my priority here. Your feelings don’t matter to me and we are not family.”

“Not yet! OOF!” The purple haired woman rubbed her ribs and shot her fiance a sore look, displeased by the elbow he had thrown her. “Rude. You want to sleep on the couch tonight?”

“Nope, not one bit.” He curled his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You know I love you, right? My darling six-zero-six.”

“I know.” She patted his hand with a smile on her face before returning her attention to Rani. “Your man’s in the bedroom. Down the hall. It’s the only closed door.”

“Right, thank you.” She was already out the door before she thought to protest that Saeran was not her man. Swallowing the protest that she was not sure was even true anymore, she made her way down the hallway to the closed door.

Just what was Saeran to her? Their relationship could hardly be considered a professional one after what they had done in their shared dream, yet she was still a professional. She was here because he needed medical help, was she not? Yes, but that was not the only reason. She was here, despite the risks, because it was where Saeran was.

“Rani?” His voice was hoarse, muffled by the pillows that he moved away to get a better look at who was coming through the door. “They said you were coming. I wasn’t sure… I thought maybe you wouldn’t.”

“I said I’d see you again, didn’t I?” Rani bumped the door shut beside her and shrugged her backpack off. Planting the bag on a dresser, she fished out the items she would need and neatly lined them up on the surface.

“You didn’t leave me… You’re really here.” Saeran swallowed and left the bed. His hands were hesitant, ghosting over her hips before he wrapped her up in a tight hug. She could feel his sigh, the release of air, and the way his body shook. “You kept your word.”

“Of course I did.” Rani paused in her task to give his hand a gentle pat. Her heart stuttered in her chest and her face heated, remembering the feel of his body against hers in another, less than innocent scenario.

“You’ll stay, won’t you?” His voice was haggard, tugging at her in a way she could not understand but could not resist. “Promise me you won’t leave me.”

“I’ve got a few hours before I have to leave.” She tried to turn in his hold but he tightened his grip until she pinched his wrist. When he loosened the constriction she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know I have a schedule to keep.”

“But they don’t need you like I do.” Saeran pulled her closer as if that would keep her there. “I do anything you ask, Rani. I won’t fight you on the treatment. I’ll be nice to my brother. I’ll try to be good, to be better. Just stay with me.”

“Saeran.” It was not like him to be this needy, this clinging. It certainly was not like him to be bargaining for her to stay. “Listen carefully. I’m can’t stay. I’ve got duties that can’t be neglected, but I’ll be back. If I won’t be able to make it, I’ll let Saeyoung or Morrigan know, but I will always return. Do you understand me?”

“I do, but-”

“No buts.” She narrowed her eyes at him, daring him to say another word but he wisely held his tongue. “I’ve got a career to think about. I’m not going to turn my back on my life just because you’re in it now.”

“Fine. Fine.” Saeran sucked in a breath and let it out. He released her and took a step back, mint eyes still locked on her. “I get it.”

“I’m not sure you do, but we’ll talk about this another time.” Lifting her hand, she pointed towards the bed. “Get back in bed. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Wanting round two already?” A smirk spread over his face and he reached for her again. “And here I am without any ropes.”

“Down boy.” As if she needed the memories of their shared dream to creep up from within her mind, heating her blood and reminding her of the bruises she woke up to or the soreness in her body. She lightly popped his hand and gave a firm nod towards the bed. “Aside from the fact that I’m still sore, now is not the time for vigorous recreational activity.”

“Ahh, what a shame.” He made his way back to the bed and plopped into the sunspot, arching his back with a luxurious stretch before settling into a comfortable lounging position. “We could always go for some slow loving.”

Rani turned back once Saeran had settled into bed to finish sorting through her bag and pull out what she needed to check what vitals she could. Her hand froze on her stethoscope, body blazing with heat and mind blanking for a second before it repeated his words like a broken record.

Slow loving.

Loving.

Did he…?

She knew he harbored some level of feelings for her. The symptoms all pointed towards that and after their shared dream she was positive of the physical aspect of it. There was no real way for her to measure the extent of his feelings, however, and she was left floundering with the thought that what he felt might be larger than a crush on her. That would explain the neediness and clinginess he showed her.

Swallowing, Rani forced herself to start moving again. Saeran watched her as she moved to the bedside and silently offered his arm for her to wrap the cuff around.

“I really meant it.” He waited until she had finished with nothing his vitals and had returned to the dresser to speak again. “I’ll try to be better for you.”

“Good, but I’m not breaking my schedule.” She glanced back at him before turning back to the stolen drugs. Carefully, she read the labels and returned a currently vial to her bag before uncapping needles and carefully drawing a dose from the remaining vials. She would have to visit with Morrigan and Saeyoung before she left about the storage of the medicine and lay down the dosage schedule.

“I wish you would. I want to keep you by my side, always. You’re precious to me, my Rani.”

“Do you want to keep me? Twenty-four seven, three-six-five?” Rani lifted one syringe after another, needle side up, to tap and squeeze out any air. The doctors who had planned his weaning had carefully outlined the drugs, updating the plans until his disappearance to allot for days he had gone cold turkey without whatever brew he had been hooked on before his admission. While she did not have the chart on hand, she had studied it carefully and had noted it down. If he cooperated, she might be able to stop his physical decline. “You’re not going to fight me on the shots, right?”

“No. I won’t fight you.” His answer came as a surprise to her. “You told me once there wouldn’t be much hell if I didn’t eat, right? It’s the same with this but I don’t want to give you hell anymore. I want to make your life a paradise. Twenty-four seven, three-six-five.”

“I’m not spending every second of my life with you.” She collected the syringes, iodine wipes, and a tourniquet before returning to the bed. “I must say, your… change in behavior is almost alarming. I didn’t expect this from you.”

“I suppose it would be a bit of a shock.” Saeran eyed the needles for a moment, hesitating before he offered her his arm. “I’ve spent so long suffering, alone, betrayed by everyone I’ve let close. Then you came along and my thorns didn’t touch you. I couldn’t push you away.”

“I’ve been told that once I have my mind set on something, it’s as if it’s set in stone.” Hana had told her that during their childhood, when she had first began studying medicine. Her parents had agreed.

“I find myself not wanting to cut you on those thorns.” Saeran’s words came slow, thoughtful as he watched her tie the tourniquet and prepare his vein. The words were difficult, muddled up in the mess of his mind. There was a part of him that screamed to yank his arm away, to reject the medicine she offered him, but he found himself frozen by her soft touch. “I think… I know you’re precious to me now. I don’t want to push you away. I don’t want you to leave me.”   
“Saeran…”

“Rani, I like you.” He reached for her wrist with her free hand, stopping her from bringing the needle to his arm and capturing her eyes with his. “But you don’t like me like I do you.”

“That’s likely true.” Rani licked her lips to wet them, feeling… something she could not name. Alexithymia rearing its head once more. “I do feel something for you, Saeran. I do like you, even if I may never be able to fully return your feelings. I’m still here, aren’t I? I’m still yours as much as you’re mine. That’s all I can give you, all I may be able to give you. You’re either going to have to be okay with it or we have to put a stop to whatever this is.”

“I’m okay with that. I have to be.” Saeran closed his eyes and released her wrist. “I’ll take whatever you can give me.”

“Will you really be content with whatever part of my heart I can give you?” For the first time she felt the sense of loss for the emotions outside of her grasp. At the same time she had to wonder how healthy their strange romance could really be, unbalanced as it was and influenced by his trauma.

“I think so.” He opened his eyes again and smiled. “Because I’ll be the only one with that part, won’t I? The only one who can make you feel that much. I’ll be precious to you, won’t I?”

“I can’t predict the future, but I’m fairly certain you’re the only one.” Rani made quick work of the shots before applying bandaids that had been buried inside of her pockets over the pinpricks. Tourniquet removed and needles capped, she tucked them back into her bag. She noted down the time and dosage in the notebook she had brought in her bag before flipping to another page and begin a list of other supplies she would need.

“I feel kind of funny.” Saeran mumbled from the bed, drawing her back to his side. He leaned into her touch as she felt his cheeks and forehead. His temperature had risen a bit, she thought, but rather than worry she felt a touch of relief. He had been cold and clammy before.

“A side effect from the medicine.” She peered into his eyes. They were clear, which was a good sign. Holding up her finger she moved it from side to side and watched him follow it. “I need more than ‘kind of funny’ to go off of. Are you nauseous? Dizzy? Having trouble focusing?”

“My head kind of hurts, but it was hurting before you showed up.” Saeran reached for her hand and gave it a tug. “I feel warm and a little tingly. It’s not… a bad feeling. Just kind of odd. Can you lie with me?”

“That’s all fine. But if anything changes, you’ll let me know.” Rani’s stern tone left no room for arguments and he shrank back against his pillows. “I need to talk to Saeyoung and Morrigan, let them know what to expect, and set the schedule with them.”

“Will you come back?” His thumb slid over her hand and across the lines of her palm. He followed one down to her wrist and pressed the digit against her pulse which raced beneath his touch.

“I will.” Rani leaned over the bed, cupping his cheek in her hand and waited until his eyes met hers. They were somewhat unfocused, but he seemed to still be in control of his faculties. The bit of glaze in his eyes turned dark, reminding her of the way he dominated over her in their shared dream.

“Are you really sore?” Saeran’s eyes dipped to her throat, to the shadowed curves he could glimpse beneath the collar of her shirt. “Are you covered with my mark?”

“Yes, to both.” Pushing away the rush of desire, she stole a quick kiss to throw him off guard and extracted herself from his loose grip. She needed some distance to clear her head, to cool off a bit. To her surprise he let her get to the door without making any complaints. “I’ll be back soon.”

Saeyoung and Morrigan were still in the kitchen. The redhead had settled into a chair with a laptop open in front of him, fingers flying across the keyboard. His fiance was sitting on the countertop with her eyes on the stove as if she expected whatever was in the pot to explode. Rani cleared her throat and the couple glanced up from their respective tasks and offered her small, cautious smiles.

“How’s he doing?” Saeyoung’s fingers continued to move across the keyboard for a few moments longer before closing the laptop. “Did he fight you? Were you able to treat him?”

“Shitty, to put it bluntly.” The first dose would not heal years of drug addiction and neglected health instantly. Her words made the redhead’s smile fall and his fiance scowl.

“No need to be a bitch about it.” Morrigan dropped down from the counter and rounded the table to step within Rani’s personal space. “We know he’s in a bad state and while I appreciate your bluntness, you could choose your words with more care.”

“There’s no point in sugarcoating and, quite frankly, it’s just not my style.” Rani stared her down, unintimidated by the woman’s flashing eyes. So like Saeran’s, yet so different. How was it that she and Saeran had the same coloured eyes but yet were clearly unrelated? The colour was highly unusual to begin with, after all. “He didn’t fight me on the medicine and he shouldn’t fight either one of you. It’ll take some time, but we should start seeing improvements. Appetite, first, and later his energy levels should rise.”

“Jeez, you’re going to be fun at family dinners.” Morrigan released a gust of air in a sigh, her posture loosening as tension leaked out of her. A second later she was smiling again. “But hey, I kind of dig it. After everything Saeran’s been through, he needs a toughass bitch at his side.”

“Seems you and Saeran are of a similar mind on the matter.” Rani sidestepped Morrigan and headed towards the refrigerator, catching Saeyoung’s wide eyes as she passed by him. Hiding her face with the refrigerator door, she poked around to find some vitamin rich juice that should help nudge her patient a little bit closer towards health.

Who needed this much PHD Pepper?

“My brother… What exactly is your relationship with you?”

“I’m his nurse.” She found a bottle of orange-pineapple juice and pulled it out before closing the fridge and turning back to the pair. “Our relationship beyond that is our business, not yours. I have no desire to divulge something so personal with anyone.”

“So you’re his lover.” Morrigan piped in, her voice higher-pitched than usual. She shuffled in place, her bare feet tapping against the tile in her excitement. “Ahhh, I knew it. I freaking knew it. I even told Saeyoung so. You’ve shared more dreams with him, didn’t you? More glitches! Ohhh, this is exciting! Look, Saeyoung, our family keeps getting bigger!”

“I think you might be getting ahead of yourself there.” Saeyoung laughed at his fiance’s excitement and left his seat to nudge her towards it. “Sit, you don’t need to be getting riled up in your state.”

“Oh fuck that, I’m fine.” She sunk into his chair at his gentle insistence but stuck her tongue out at him for his efforts.

“Are we done blathering on?” Rani waited a moment before turning towards the cabinets, setting the juice down before beginning her search for a glass.

“About that, yes.” The pregnant woman propped her legs up on the chair to her left so she could watch Rani pour the juice into a cup. “Has that woman appeared?”

“No, not since the first one.” The blonde who had been part of the torment in the first dream she shared with Saeran. Somehow she could not forget her face, her posture. There was something off about her but Rani could not put her finger on it.

“Good, good. She shows up again, kick her out. If she shows up in person, call us immediately and keep your distance.” Morrigan was utterly serious, so serious that Rani stopped to turn her full attention to her. “And whatever you do, keep her away from Saeran.”

“I wasn’t aware she was a real person.” But learning otherwise was no surprise at this point. Logic seemed to not quite exist when it came to Saeran and those who surrounded him. “What did she do to him?”

“She’s part of the reason he is the way he is.” Saeyoung’s voice was so quiet she nearly missed it. Head lowered, eyes shrouded, his posture reminded Rani of the flashcard Hana had drawn her so many years ago. Despair, depression, sorrow. Whoever the blonde was, whatever she had done to Saeran, Saeyoung bore the weight of it as if he were the guilty party. “And she’s a danger to him. So please, protect him.”

“I will.” Rani would not allow anyone to hurt one of her patients. Something within her clenched at the thought of Saeran falling into the hands of the woman who had lead to his near death. The malnutrition, the psychological trauma, and the drugs. She would never let that woman near Saeran again. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe.”

What had her life become? Questioning reality completely. Dreams that came to life. The magnetic pull that tied her so completely to Saeran. The inkling of something, feelings she could not understand. The fire within her in a place that had been cold for so long.

Yet seeing the sleepy, lazy smile that spread across Saeran’s face when she set down the juice beside the bed and curled up against him made her think it was not so bad to lose the logic and strict, monotonous structure of her life.


End file.
